Can We Keep Her?

Firsts

There had been a lot of firsts in the last year. First breaths. First baths. First time rolling over. First time crawling. First solid foods First steps.  Firsts words.

The triplets had developed quickly, particularly considering how early they had been born. They were crawling by five months and walking by eleven. They now said mama, dada, and no. Each first had been documented, and when they happened there was not a single time when you, Steve, and Bucky weren't completely delighted. Raising triplets was exhausting. It felt like there was never a moment spare to just be you. You were always someone in relation to another life. There were nights you got no sleep. Sometimes days would go by with just an hour's sleep here or there. You wouldn't change it for anything because each one of those firsts was a treasure.

Today was the biggest first of all. Their first birthday.

It had been one year since they had been brought into the world. One year since your strange little family of three had doubled in size. Invitations had been sent, party foods purchased, and cakes were baked and decorated. The party was poised and about to start but three little people didn't seem to want to play along.

The girls, Sarah and Rebecca, were both sleeping soundly. Something that was rare and usually blissful. You had never expected to ever wish that they would wake up before they were ready. Yet here you were, going in to check on them every ten minutes in the hopes that you'd find one of them at least with her eyes open and staring happily at the ceiling. At this stage, even one of them waking up screaming and creating a cascading effect on the other would be acceptable. Even with the apartment full of people and children running around screaming, they slept like the dead.

Anthony, on the other hand, was awake and overtired. He was being emotional and needy and refused to let Bucky put him down. He wouldn't go to your parents or Tony who really wanted a photo with his namesake. He wouldn't go to Kari your nanny who had been there since the first week they'd been home from the medical wing. He wouldn't even go to you or Steve. It was Bucky or screaming at the top of his lungs. He kept his little face pressed against his father's chest and anytime he ventured to peek out and saw all the people looking at him, he'd start whimpering and hide it again.

"Well, this is turning into a complete disaster," you complained as you arranged some finger foods on a tray to take out into the living room.

Your mother rubbed your back in a soothing circle. "Honey, they're one. And there are three of them. It was hard enough doing first birthday parties one at a time."

"They're missing it all. Clint's making balloon animals and the only one awake to see them screams anytime one gets put anywhere near him," you grumbled.

Your mother put her hands on your shoulders and turned you to face her. "Darling. This isn't for them. This is for you and your boys. You got through a year. They are healthy and happy and you're all together. The babies aren't going to remember their first birthday party. Let them sleep through it and just go sit down and relax. You've earned it."

You wrapped your arms around her and hid your face in her neck, for a moment holding back the tears of exhaustion and frustration, and letting yourself melt into the familiar comfort of your mother's arms. "We did do it," you whispered.

"That's right, you did. Now go be with your friends and family. You have people here who can do that. You raised the babies and baked the cake. That's enough work for now," she said, giving you a squeeze.

You returned to the living room and collapsed down on the couch next to Steve who slung his arm around your shoulder and kissed the top of your head. Bucky came and sat down next to you and immediately Anthony started whining and crawling up his body trying to bury himself in Bucky's neck. "I think we should maybe consider... and hear me out... doing Anthony's cake and presents now because he's going to crash and probably won't be awake when the girls are."

You frowned and nodded your head. "You're right. We might as well."

Steve stood up and clapped his hands. "Okay, not the way we planned it but we're gonna try and let Anthony open his presents and do his cake," he announced.

There was movement in the room as people gathered things together and brought them over to you all on the couch. A gift was put into your hand and you opened the card. "Hey, little one. Look it's a present from your Auntie Nat," you said, holding up the misshapen package.

Anthony whined and shook his head trying as hard as he could to completely disappear into Bucky's hair. You squeezed the present and the paper made a crinkly noise. A little hand shot out and took it without looking up from his hiding spot. He held the package against Bucky's chest crinkling the paper in his tiny fist for a little while before lifting his head and looking at it.

"You wanna open it?" Bucky asked, tearing the paper a little. Anthony grabbed the place where the paper had been torn and ripped it pulling the paper off and waving it around, a huge smile on his face. The plush spider inside fell to the ground unnoticed.

"Well, I guess at least he likes the paper," Natasha said, shaking her head.

You managed to get him to open three presents when his attention started waning. You were trying to get him to open the huge box that was from Tony when the sounds of cries carried down from the bedrooms. Steve and Kari both got up and went down to the bedroom. When they returned they had two sleepy-looking girls in their arms, both in their party dresses.

"Maybe we should do the cake now they're all awake?" you suggested.

Bucky scooped up Anthony from the floor. The little boy waved a piece of wrapping paper around, hitting Bucky in the face with it. The large group of people followed you out to the kitchen where you set the triplets up in high chairs. Your nephews and Edwin Stark all bounced around excitedly as you got out the three matching cakes, all in different colors but with the same polka dot design. You put the large brightly colored number one candles on them, lit them, and with the help of your mom and dad you brought them over to the high chairs singing Happy Birthday to the babies. They looked around unsure of why people were signing but still happy they were and Sarah started making bababa sounds like she was singing along.

By the time the song was done the babies were all trying to grab the candles and handfuls of cake.

"Help them blow out the candles, boys," you said.

Edwin and the twins leaned over and blew the flames out, and the cakes were taken away from the triplets. A slice of each cake was cut and given to each baby and what proceeded was the messiest sugar rush you had ever witnessed. Each cake was a different flavor sponge. One chocolate, one strawberry, and one funfetti. The babies ate them by the fistful, cake getting all over their faces and clothes. It was in their hair and between their toes. You had never seen such faces of pure, innocent bliss as they smeared buttercream all over themselves.

Steve served the cake out to everyone and you perched yourself on a stool and watched the kids as you ate your slice. "Think they might have their mommy's sweet tooth," Steve said.

You chuckled and leaned against him. "Probably not going to have any choice in the matter considering the amount of chocolate I keep in the house."

He put his arm around your shoulder and kissed the top of your head. "We're doing okay, right? They seem happy."

You nodded and looked up into his blue eyes. "Yeah. I think so. We have good people to help us."

"That is true," Steve agreed. He looked over at the triplets. Bucky was attempting to clean them up and they were leaving frosting handprints all over his clothes. "I guess we better help clean them up."

You grinned up at him. "Yeah, I guess. There's just one little mess I need to get first."

"Oh?" Steve asked.

You put your finger in your own frosting and smeared it on Steve's mouth, giggling as you did. He chuckled and shook his head. "Don't ever change," he said and brought his lips to yours. You ran your tongue over his lips and sucked the sugary frosting off them as you smiled into the kiss. It was these little moments that always made you feel like you'd won some kind of lottery. It was worth savoring them.