Can We Keep Her?

Welcome Home

The triplets had to stay in intensive care for a couple of weeks. They were healthy and thriving but still very premature, so they needed that extra help. Clint joked that they weren't done baking. It was an analogy you, Steve, and Bucky had thought was perfect.

It hadn't been so bad in the end. You needed to recover from surgery in the ward, so the twins were close enough to go and visit whenever you wanted. Even if that was the middle of the night because you were feeling paranoid.  It helped ease that feeling of stress due to them being in intensive care. That meant that you were free to get the rest you needed to heal properly.

The twins were thriving. They did have an initial drop of weight immediately after they were born, but quickly regained it and started putting on weight with their regular feedings. They were responsive and alert and had strong heartbeats. Out of curiosity, you had run paternity tests on them. It had turned out Sarah and Anthony were both Bucky's biological children, while Rebecca was Steve's. You had all found it quite hilarious and when Tony found out about Anthony, he teased Bucky mercilessly, telling him he always knew there was something special between them.

Steve and Bucky carefully prepared for the day you all came home to the apartment. Not that they weren't already ready. The nursery was ready. The nanny had been hired. The groceries had been bought. They were still nervous though. It was one thing to go up and see them throughout the day and hold them or feed them a bottle only to hand them back to the nurses to do the hard stuff. It was another thing altogether to be wholly responsible for their care 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

They wanted it really badly but at the same time, they were both terrified of doing it wrong.

They also missed you. They wanted you home in their bed. They wanted to wake up next to you and go to sleep spooning you again.

So on the day that you were due to all be released and allowed to return home, they wanted to make it special. They spoke to someone at the chocolate shop and had them prepare a special dessert. Bucky scoured recipes on the internet to find something he thought was both interesting and something you liked.

When you were finally wheeled in through the front door of the apartment, Sarah cradled in one arm and Rebecca in the other, while Steve wheeled you, and Bucky followed behind, holding Anthony, the whole place was spotless and the aroma of herbs, spices and things roasting filled the place.

"Hey, babies. This is your new home," you said as you looked back at Steve. The babies were still so small. Anthony almost just fit in the palm of Steve's hand and he looked so awkward holding him, even with the giant smile plastered on his face.

Steve came and took the girls from your arms so you could stand up. "You've been cooking," you said, stretching your arms up over your head. You looked at the babies who were all alert and looking around. "I wonder how long they'll be like that? Should we put them down so they can kick or something?"

"That sounds like a great idea," Bucky agreed, going to set up the play gym one-handed while Sarah was still safely cradled in his arm. He looked like it was something he'd done a hundred times before. You wondered when you and Steve would look so natural.

"How are you doing that?" you asked, taking Rebecca from Steve and gingerly putting her down on the mat.

Bucky and Steve crouched down next to you and put Anthony and Sarah on either side of her. "I don't know. I thought I'd be scared to hold them. They're so tiny and this -" he held out his metal hand and the plates flexed and shifted. "I always feel like I can't do delicate things with it. Even though I can. Just... that one day I'll go to squeeze some fruit and just push my thumb through it by accident." He wriggled one of the toys over Sarah, watching the three of them closely as he spoke. "Never have though. And then I held Sarah for the first time and I could feel the warmth of her skin and how soft and fragile she was and I knew that I was okay and I could do this."