ambivalent • a tronnor au ✔️

Chapter 5

trigger-ish kinda-ish warning-ish

"Alright, thank you Mrs. Billered" I smiled, picking up my Calculus book and heading out the door.

"You're welcome, Connor. And if you need any more help with calculus, come in after school."

I'm not going to lie, calculus is hard as fuck and lately, my grades have been showing it. After a 20 minute talk with my mom, she convinced me to talk to my Calculus teacher, Mrs. Billered, after class and ask her 'what I can do to raise my grade.'

As I walked out of the classroom, the bell rang, signaling the start of my next class. "Shit" I picked up the pace, trying to walk to my last class of the day.

"Please stop!" I heard a voice yell from around the corner.

"What are you going to do about it? Tell your mommy? Oh wait... your mom ditched you for Australia!" Curious as to what was going on, I walked quickly to the direction where the voices where coming from.

"Caspar please stop" an all too familiar voice echoed. I immediately recognized the voice, which made me pick up my pace. As I turned the corner, I saw something that answered all my questions. Well, most of them.

"Troye!" I yelled, throwing my stuff on the floor and bolting to Troye.

Caspar had Troye pinned up against the locker, his fist balled up on the collar in Troye shirt, and his other fist back, ready to punch him. Caspar looked in my direction and noticed me running towards them. "Oh look, lover boy is here to save you. How sweet" and without any hesitation, Caspar swung his fist, making contact with Troyes left eye.

"Caspar!" I yelped, running to aid Troye. Before Caspar let go of Troye , he swung his fist one last time and ran off. "shit" Finally, when I got to Troye, I knelt down. "oh god" I carefully put my finger underneath his chin and tilted his head ever so slightly so I could get a better view of his beaten up face.

"Con-connor" his voice was shaky as he called out my name "i-is it bad, Connor?" I didn't know what to say, because yeah, his face looked like shit, which a giant bruise on the left side of his face and a black eye.

"You've looked better. Come on, I'm going to carry you to the bathroom. We can clean you up a bit" Troye nodded in response. I grabbed his arms and pulled him up. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and slowly started limping to the bathroom.

When we arrived to the bathroom, I carefully set him down on the floor. "what happened?"

"I-i" he started, but the pain in his jaw caused him to stop. "Caspar. He-he found out I-I was gay, s-so he's been beating me up." my heart dropped, Troye was getting beaten up because of his sexuality? And by Caspar? I always cried Caspar as a kind and easy going guy, but I guess you can't judge a book by its cover.

"Is that why your lips were swollen yesterday?" I asked, piecing together the information. Suddenly, I remembered how I was teasing him, giving him shit and pushing his buttons because of it. my face turned red. "Oh shit, I'm sorry Troye! I was teasing you about your lips and how I though you kissed Caspar and oh sh-"

"Relax Connor" he smirked "you didn't know" he tried to laugh it off, but ultimately failed due to the pain.

To say I felt bad for him was an understatement. Seeing him in pain actually caused my pain - and a lot of it.

The silence between us broke as Troye spoke up.

"How do you do it?"

I tilted my head. "How do I do what?"

"How do you do it? How do you have hundreds of friends? How do you walk around the school knowing everybody knows you're gay, and not be scared? How do you not get bullied and beaten up? How?" His voice was trembling, his eyes filled with water.

"I" I started, yet I didn't know what to say. "Listen, I'm going to let you in on a little secret, Troye. I went through complete hell in middle school. I had no friends. Zero. Zip. None. My entire social life was destroyed after we fought. Yet, having no friends have me time to think. Think about everything - including my sexuality. Once I finally came to terms with my sexuality, I wanted to tell somebody. But who? I didn't have any friends and I sure as hell wasn't ready to tell my parents. So I came out via Facebook. Facebook, Troye. But apparently, coming out via Facebook spread out like a wildfire, because on that first day of high school, people started to talk to me. And that's how I befriended Tyler. Tyler introduced me to his friends, who eventually became my friends. But, believe it or not, I got bullied and beaten up. Everyday I got bullied, some days more than others. And I was continuously bullied by" I took a deep breath. Even the mention of his name give me anxiety. "By Joe Sugg. He hurt me. He'd beat me up everyday, he'd say things to my face. He's leave emotional and- and" I paused, closing my eyes and reaching down to my jeans. Slowly, I rolled them up, revealing the several scares I created upon my ankle. " and physical scars."

My eyes started to brim with tears at the memory. "But I powered through it, Troye. And I believe that you can too. I know you can. Now, Joe doesn't bully me. I don't cut anymore. I'm 2 - almost 3 - years clean Troye. I believe in you"

I role my pant leg back down to cover my many scars I created in my past. I tilted my head up to face Troye, his black eye more visible.

Then he spoke.

"Bullshit"

Bullshit!? I thought. How is this bullshit?

"Excuse me?" I questioned.

"That story, the fake tears. I don't believe you, hell, I don't believe a single part of that story" his words were like knives jabbing through my heart.

"Are you shitting me?" I practically yelled. "I just poured my heart out to you. I've told you things I haven't even told Tyler or my family! I showed you my scars" my body was shaking. I never realized how one word could have such an effect on me.

"Please. I find it hard to believe that little Mr. Perfect was bullied. I fucking find it hard to believe that you had no friends through out middle school. It's hard to believe. You have fucking amazing friends, Connor. Why would anybody bully you? It makes sense that I'm bullied! I don't have any friends! Do you know how lucky you are? I would kill for a decent friend!"

I'm almost positive that by now, tears were streaming down my face. Slowly, I stood up and backed away from him.

"Well up until now, I was actually trying to be your friend"

Then I stormed off.

-

Oooooo drama.

Okay no authors note really.
Also I'm bored af, hence the double update

X - C