ambivalent • a tronnor au ✔️

Chapter 22

I kept starring at the picture frame that lied in my hands. I fucked it up for the both of us; I put so much pressure on him and caused him to run away.

I almost lost him once; I wasn't going to let that happen again. A sudden knock at my door caused me to jump up, nearly dropping the beautiful frame I held.

"Con? Can I come out here with you?" it was my mom. I let out a muffled 'yes' as she opened the door. "Is everything alright? Why did Troye leave? He looked really upset" She said quietly, rubbing my back.

"No. Nothing's alright; Tonight was supposed to be one of the greatest nights of my life and I completely fuc- I mean - screwed it up. And for what? Nothing. Now Troye is pi- I mean - pretty mad at me and ugh!" I yelled out, throwing my back on to the grass.

"what happened, sweetie?" She asked, calmly.

"I- well, we were on our, um, date and It was perfect, Mom" I breathed out. "Everything about it was perfect. We talked and walked. We conversed for hours and hours at both the restaurant and the park. Then we came back here and I was just disappointed, I guess."

"And why was that? You said the night was perfect."

"I know, it's just I thought he was going to ask me to be his boyfriend. And it turns out, he was, and in the most romantic way ever!" I cried out, holding up the frame so my mom could see. "But I pressured him and he got mad and now- now he's gone!" My mom didn't say anything; she just sat there in silence as the tears came down my face.

"is what you said true?" She asked, breaking the silence. "Do you really love him?" All I did was nod, unable to speak any longer. "Well, if you love him, let him go."

As much as I despised wanting to talk about Troye any longer, I needed to. I needed ti prove to her that I wasn't just going to let him walk out of my life like that.

"Mom, you don't understand. I can't! There has been too many times where I nearly let him out of my life, Mom! I can't let it happen again, because each time it did, it ripped out a piece of my heart. If I let him walk away now, I'll have nothing at all!" The tears were coming down my face like a waterfall, and it showed no signs of stopping.

"Then what are you waiting for? Go look for him!"

__

3 hours

32 Calls

57 texts

34 different locations

And millions of tears later; I still couldn't find him.

He wouldn't answer my phone calls, he wouldn't reply to my texts, nothing! I've been on my feet for several hours, yet no signs of Troye have appeared anywhere.

As each minute passed, I felt a different emotion. First it was determination, then anxiety, then worry. What if he got hurt? What if he was kidnapped?

I got many calls from my mom, asking me to come home, but I couldn't. I wasn't going to give up, I need to find out where Troye is. He's all I have left.

My eyes began to feel heavy as I continued to walk in the park I was in just 4 hours ago. I pulled out my phone; checking the time.

12:43 AM

No matter the time of day, no matter how tired I was, I wasn't going to give up, and I knew that. He has to be out here somewhere, he just has to.

A couple of hours passed by and I still couldn't find Troye. At this point, I was getting really angry, something inside of me was screaming at me to give up and let him go, but I didn't listen to that part. Instead, I listened to the smaller part, telling me to keep going, and so I did.