ambivalent • a tronnor au ✔️

Chapter 15

*TROYES POV*

I finally did it.

I finally kissed him.

After countless amounts of nights dreaming about it, I finally did it. I finally got to feel his lips on mine. I finally got to wrap my arms around his neck.

I finally got to kiss my everything. And I couldn't be happier.

-
"Trooooooyee" Connor called out to me. "Troye hurry up! I wanna finish watching the movie!" He called out, getting annoyed by my absence.

"Awe, is Connie missing me too much?" I call from the kitchen, grabbing the freshly made popcorn out of the microwave.

"Very much so. Come back and let me snuggle you!" I started to blush at his words as I poured the popcorn in the bowl. I began walking back into the living room, popping a piece of popcorn in my mouth as I did so. "Yay" Connor called, holding out his arms.

"Calm down, I'll get you the popcorn in a second. Let me settle down first."

"I don't want the popcorn, you dork, I wanna cuddle you"

"If you say so" I chuckled, sitting next to Connor and outing my head in his shoulder. His arms wrapped around my small frame as he pulled me closer.

Things between Connor and I have been amazing. We've been hanging out more than ever and we cuddle constantly. Yet, we're not even dating yet.

I want to ask him, I really do, but I feel like he'd reject me. I want Connor to be mine more than anything, but the timing was everything - and there hasn't been a perfect time to ask him yet.

When I ask him to be my boyfriend, I want everything to be perfect. I want to have a nice romantic dinner, followed by a cute walk in the park.

I even had an amazing way to ask him.

I wanted to get a picture frame and fill the slots with a picture of us as fetus friends, and a picture of us now. Then below the pictures, il have the words 'will you be mine?' Engraved on.

It would be perfect.

"Troye?" Connor called out, breaking me from my train of thought.

"Hmm? What?" I asked, clearly telling him I wasn't paying attention for shit.

"I asked you what you wanted on your Pizza"

"Oh - um can we get a margarita pizza with pineapple?" I asked, still unaware of what was going on.

"Anything for you, cutie" he replied, bopping my nose in the process.

My cheeks turned a deep shade of red. He called me cutie. The inner girl in my was screaming, while on the outside, I was playing it cool - acting like nothing had happened.

I looked over to Connor. God, he was perfect. His hair falls perfects against his forehead, his eyes look like two emerald jewels, and his lips. Don't get me started on how soft his lips were. How amazing they tasted.

Connor was everything I've ever dreamed of and more. I really adore him. He truly cares for me, which makes me beyond happy.

"Troye!" Connor called out. I widened my eyes, mentally slapping myself for zoning out again.

"What now?"

"Your phones ringing" he pointed out, gesturing towards my phone.

"Oh. Okay I'll be right back." I quickly get up and answer the phone without even looking at the caller ID. I figured it must be my mom or something - nobody ever calls me anyways.

"Troye! Honey! How are you?"

Yup. Definitely my mom.

"I'm good, mom. What's up?"

"Oh I just wanted to tell you some amazing news!"

--
After I had finished talking to my mom and she gushed about the amazing news, I was in shock. I Couldn't believe it. I wanted to throw up. Amazing news? What part of this was amazing news?

I started to feel dizzy as I stood in the middle of the room, pacing back and forth. My hand was up in my hair, tugging at it in frustration.

"Troye? Is everything alright?"

No

"Yeah, just perfect. My mom can just be a little- uh- a little annoying. That's all" I lied, wanting to slap myself for lying to Connor.

"I understand. Anyways, come on. Let's finish the movie." He gestured, causing me to smile as I made my way back to the couch. I decided to sit a bit further away from Connor.

I couldn't get too attached to him. I couldn't do it. What my mom just told me ruined everything, and now? Now I need to distance myself as far away from him as possible.

And I hate every minute of it.

--
A/N
Hey guys sorry this is a short ass chapter but it's a REALLLLLY FUCKING IMPORTANT CHAPTER, AIGHT? LIKE ALMOST EVERYTHING IN THIS CHAPTER COMES INTO PLAY WITHIN THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS.