Poetic Pain

LeTarius 3

Let's go back, I was fourteen when my mom took me and my sisters to New Orleans and for the first few months, everything was chill... Then my grandma walked in on me long fuckin this deep brown bottom, I mean I was going IN, that was the first time I've ever made someone cream and I was feeling myself..... Then the look of horror and disgust broke my concentration and things... well they went left; I got cussed the fuck out, beat, and threatened to have my dick cut off, after that... nothing. For the next few weeks, I thought I was in the clear, until I came home from school to find my mom, my grandma, and two porky white men waiting....... The men grabbed me, placed me in a van, and drove me a place in the middle of nowhere surrounded by swamps in every direction; Camp Faith..... A fitting name because the intent was to beat, shake, and bleed the gay away; I was faced with electroshock therapy, cage fights, beatings with a steel rod, and forced to recite bible verses all night. I was deprived of sleep, forced to go DAYS without eating, and physically and mentally abused until I learned how to play the game.... There were some pretty dark days but there was a beacon of light in that dark place, someone who made Camp Faith manageable until it wasn't..... It doesn't matter, none of the torture worked, because I was still gay as fuck, but it wasn't until a certain incident that I learned how to give them what they wanted while taking down the names of everyone I was going to kill..... There were five names on my list, five people I was going to kill, but first I needed...........

"LETARIUS!!!!" My dad yelled snapping me out of my daze. "Damn lil nigga you good?" He asked as I looked down at the burning bacon in the skillet.... He didn't know what I had been through, I don't think he had the range to understand, and the fear of hearing his response kept me from telling him the truth.

"My bad dad..." I said trying to salvage the bacon but realizing quickly that it was pointless. I don't want y'all to get the wrong impression, my dad wasn't a bad dude... he was strict, he had been through some things in his life including an eight-year bid that left him.... focused, would be the right word. Since getting out he's been working his ass off, flipping houses, and making some money... but he was a hood nigga and he still had his old ways burned into his DNA.

"I told your lil as you were going to regret sneaking that nigga out the house last night...." My dad said shaking his head, he knew I was gay and he accepted it as long as I was 'safe', he was the type to teach independence so he didn't really trip about who I was fuckin.

"Well because of your RULES, it's not like I could leave..." I said sarcastically. My dad had a bunch of rules that he laid out when I first moved in; doors locked at 10 PM and since I wasn't allowed to have a key there have been several nights when I was locked out and had to either crash at a friends place, or tough it out until the morning.

"I told you, I'm trying to teach you how to stand on your own... speaking of which, how's the job search going?" He asked and I rolled my eyes, that was yet another one of his rules; that I needed to find a job and pay bills....

"Still working on it, but at this point, I'm just thinking about starting an Onlyfans because flippin burgers ain't for me..... and you know I'm not exactly a people person so the less interaction I have with the general public the better." I said as I finished cooking.

"Aight well your 90 days is almost up and then you gotta start paying bills around here, oh and Dezirea is coming over tonight so you're going to have to find somewhere to be... if you need me to get you a motel room let me know so I can get on it." My dad said before downing his entire glass of orange juice.

"I'll probably crash at Omani's or Krimzon's...." I said trying not to say something smart, I had never met my dad's girl only seen a few pics but if he really thought I was the type to go after a bitch he was fuckin... better yet, if he thought the bitch he was fuckin would want me instead then he needed to find a better woman.