Poetic Pain

Kiwon 10

Imagine your dad walking out when you were young, and from that young age, it's been hammered into your head that you have to be the man of the house. That shyt affects you, some people buckle under the pressure but it only made me want to work harder, because, despite their flaws I loved my mom and my sister, I never wanted to see them struggle, and I never wanted to see my mom cry, or my sister huddled up in the backseat of a car with my jacket because we don't have a place to live. Maybe I'm being stupid, but I take their entitlement because I feel like it was my fault my dad left and I needed to make it up to them.... so I tolerated them stealing my shyt, I tolerated my mom flirting with my friends, I tolerated Kira being known as a pass around, I even tolerate them disrespecting Dior.... because I have to everything in and be the man of the house. I know they're grimy, I know Kira brought her friends around in a desperate attempt to 'turn me straight'... that's probably why I never questioned it when she started bringing Tremario around. If I was smart I would've noticed the pattern, she never brought him when Dior was there and she was very strategic in making sure that he only popped up when me and Dior were going through some rough patches..... Tremario was very cunning, he played his role perfectly and I should've seen it.... but in my defense I'm young and I don't have everything figured out just yet, so I'm bound to make mistakes.....

The first time Tremario got me was after an altercation me and Dior had about some brand deal that fell through, our arguments have been growing more frequent but they were never anything relationship-ending... if that makes sense. Sometimes I felt like Dior pushed me too hard when all I wanted to d was play the game and chill, but he was always about business and that shyt could be annoying at times, so after we got into it he said he was going over Xadrian's for the night leaving me at home to some peace... until I heard Kira's ANNOYING ass laugh echoing through the house.

"Kiwon, I'm hungry..." She said in the baby voice that I've come to associate with begging.

"There's food in the kitchen, help yourself...." I said without looking up from the screen, but I could feel her standing there, eyes on me, waiting for me to cave... "Fine I'll order something, I'm getting hungry myself and I don't feel like cooking." I said grabbing my phone.

"You don't gotta have it delivered, I'll go pick it up.... you mind if my friend stays here?" Kira asked and I rolled my eyes because she knew how I felt about strangers being in my house, but I was too damn nice..... "I want some soul food by the way...." Kira said walking out, even though I could hear her walking down the stairs I could feel some eyes on me, I turned to see her 'friend' standing there and I'll admit the attraction was instant.

"Sorry..." He said quietly. "Habit I guess... when my ex would play the game I would watch him, usually because I knew eventually he'd want some head.... I'm Tremario by the way, I've been following you for a while." He said and I suppressed a smile.

"Umm nice to meet you... well I'm about to order some food do you want anything?" I asked and he shook his head before walking off, it was hard to miss the fact that he was sagging slightly revealing a lace thong that lowkey got a reaction out of Lil Kiwon.... The rest of the night he ignored me, which really caught me off guard because even though I didn't like most of Kira's friends I tried to be polite and engage in conversation, but Tremario.... he was different.

This was around November, and from there Tremario would come over with Kira whenever Dior wasn't around (a pattern I should've noticed), and the more he came around the more we'd talk and it was subtle... never anything other than life shyt and I kept my relationship away from any conversations we had. Tremario didn't pry, he'd ask me how Dior was doing and leave it at that... one night around four months ago me and Dior really got into it. It was the worst argument of our relationship, some influencer had hit Dior up and was legit trying to flirt with him, I got heated even though it was clear that Dior hadn't intiated contact I felt disrespected and dipped... I got drunk as fuck and somehow ended up stranded across town, I'll give you three guess on who came through.