Bound

Chapter 54 - Broken

Dmitri

"I can't believe they made you a fucking Elder," I say to Andrea, who is standing beside me at the bar in the large ballroom that had been erected at the back of the castle that, as an Elder, he now called home. I wasn't complaining. This one was close to me, so the journey was easy.

"Someone had to do it. What better man for the job," he drawls out, his Italian accent richly coating every word. You would think after all the years of living in various places, he would have lost some of the intensity of the accent, but instead, it seems to have become thicker.

While some would see this as arrogance, I have known Andrea for nearly four centuries and know that if anyone should be an Elder, it is him. I wasn't just saying that because we are close friends, I truly meant it. He appeared cold and arrogant, but underneath, he was caring, thoughtful, and trustworthy. He never lost his temper, always keeping his cool when making decisions. And he always looked at all sides. It is what made him a true leader.

"I'm surprised to see you here tonight. You haven't attended any functions since..." he leaves the sentence unfinished but doesn't shift his gaze from mine. He is gauging my reaction.

"I wouldn't miss this for the world," I say, meaning every word. I wanted to be here to celebrate with my friend. I just wish I was alone.

Savannahs high pitched laugh floats over the other voices in the room, grating at my consciousness. I look over to where she is, her back facing me as she chats and laughs at a table nearby.

"How are you really doing Dmitri?" Andrea's concern is evident, and I avoid his gaze.

I would just be telling him things I have already told him over too many bottles of whisky. I was broken inside. My Lycan felt like he was disconnecting from me. I felt empty, hollow, dead inside. I thought that with time Savannah and our binding would change how I felt, but that never happened. I detested her. I hated the farce we were living. Pretending we were a happy couple when in fact, we barely spoke.

I avoided going out with her in public as I couldn't bear the false display, and I didn't like her touching me, which made the massive bump on her stomach even more surprising. She says I took advantage of her one night in one of my drunken states. I don't remember the incident, which is even more disturbing. I would not have touched her in my right mind. But when I woke up in the morning, she was lying naked in my bed. Her arm draped over my body. I had felt repulsed and disgusted with myself at that moment. I still do. Why did I feel like this with my mate? I couldn't understand it. That was the first and last time anything like that happened.

I thought my mate would erase all feelings I had for her. Skylar. But they haven't. She still inhabits every dream, her name leaving my lips on so many nights that Savannah has stopped attempting to sleep in my bed. My body seems to ache for her physically. My heart is no better. Her scent lingers in my nostrils.

As much as I am to blame for pushing her away by announcing Savannah as my mate, she also put up no fight when leaving. And with that douchbag, Chris. A guy she barely knows. A guy with such a clean history, it almost seemed impossible. I conducted numerous investigations into his background, all coming back cleaner than a bleached sheet.

I had no idea where they were now. After they left Willow Falls, I tried finding out, but either no one was telling me or no one had seen them. I received a message from Sky telling me to stop looking for her. That it was over, they didn't want to be found. The last I saw of Chris was when he came to fetch Sky's things from her shop. I confronted him, asking him where she was, but he said she didn't want to be found, that she had moved on. They were together, and that was what she wanted. He went so far as to show me pictures of them outside a shop somewhere, hand in hand, with big smiles on their faces.

Something had switched in me that day. It was the first time in centuries that I lost control of my Lycan. Luckily, Ivan dragged me into a side alley out of view from passing humans behind Sky's shop when he saw my hands shift. It was then that I fully lost control of my Lycan, shifting in that alley before bolting off into the woods. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in a cellar in Andrea's villa. Chained and half lucid. Five weeks out of control. It never lasted that long before. Thankfully, Ivan and Kira managed to capture me before too much destruction took place, and they called on Andrea for assistance in hiding me before anyone found out. Savannah and the rest of the pack were told I was out of town on business.

Thanks to the man beside me, I was spared crucifixion by the Council. I vowed never to lose control like that again, one I have managed to keep. But it is not without a cost. I have to take suppressants on occasions when the feeling becomes too much, weakening me physically. Luckily it only lasts for a couple of hours. The episodes have become less frequent with time, and now I struggle with them weekly instead of daily. No one knows about this besides Andrea, Ivan, and Kira. If anyone else was privy to this information, my ability to lead may be questioned. My status as Alpha may be challenged. I knew I would still win physically, but part of me wondered if I was worthy anymore.

"Everything has a way of working itself out, Dmitri." Andrea hands me a fresh glass of whisky, the look on his face slightly mischievous. I am about to question him, but the words sit like lead in my throat. I close my eyes, praying I am dreaming. The scent I could pinpoint in a sea of others invades my nostrils—cinnamon, jasmine, and apple. My breathing falters when I realize something is missing. Rose. It can't be.

I open my eyes as Andrea steps forward and around me.

"Ahh, I'm so glad you could make it. Let me introduce you to some people. I think you have already met. This is Dmitri."

I hesitate a moment before I slowly turn around, making sure to mask the array of feelings washing through me and the effect her scent is having on me.

"Dmitri, you remember Chris and Sky?" Andrea says casually, never faltering in his introduction.

I look at Chris, shock and anger clearly written on his features. His breathing has even increased. "Dmitri," he says stiffly, not bothering with the formality of a handshake.

"Chris," I say, my tone even and emotionless. The guy still has that arrogant aura about him, making my Lycan want to come out and play.

I look over at the woman who has done more damage to me in a year than all the numerous battles I have fought over my entire lifespan.

The blood has drained from her face, and the hand not around Chris's arm clutches her chest. Her heartbeat sounds like she is running a marathon.

"You've met my girlfriend, Skylar?" Chris asks, Sky's head whipping over to look at Chris, shock still on her face.

"Yes, I remember her briefly," I say as I stifle a growl at the words leaving Chris's mouth. The name I used rolled off his tongue with ease.

To make the situation more awkward, Savannah chooses this time to sidle up to me, one hand snaking around my waist, the other stroking her clearly pregnant belly.

"Oh, Sky, was it? So nice to see you again," she says snidely, animosity dripping from her tone. Could this get any worse?

Sky's gaze moves slowly away from Chris to take in the scene before her. Her eyes move from Savannah's face to her stomach and settle on me before she quickly looks at Andrea. She hesitates momentarily as all emotion is wiped off her face, and her eyes become distant. She smiles at him, the smile miles away from reaching her eyes, but no other emotion is now evident. It is like she has switched off.

"Andrea, nice to see you again. Congratulations on becoming an Elder. It must be a great honor." She then looks over at myself and Savannah. "Dmitri, Savannah, so nice to see you again. I see congratulations are in order." Her smile tightens but doesn't falter. "Well, I think we should mingle and get something to drink. What do you say, Chris?"

"Sure, Skylar. If you would excuse us," he says before leading her off into the crowd behind us.

And just like that, she is gone again. And I release the breath I didn't know I was holding.

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