19 And Cold

Chapter Nineteen: In My Veins

Antonio's POV:
He left. He really left me, he really left us just like that. I know I told him to go, I told him he was free, that I wouldn't follow him.

But fuck me I didn't think he would. He didn't look back or speak a single word he just ran away. Goddess knows how long I was standing there just staring at that empty space where he had stood before I started walking back to the house.

"It only hurts to love you...you don't hurt the people you love!"

Fuck; I'm too selfish to let him go. I stopped in my tracks looking at the house before I turned round and ran back in the direction he had left. I left him once and I didn't go after him and I never want to do it again.

Fuck!

I shifted as I jumped over a fallen tree running faster, allowing his scent to guide me, taking me further into the woods until I stood in front of a house I knew well. This is where he's been staying?

I looked down at my paws watching as the morphed back into my hands before I got to my feet just starting at the door.

Am I ready to do this, to break my word that I had let him go that I wouldn't follow him; fuck me I lied. I shoved the front door open running up the stairs before I slammed his door open. He was just sat there with his face in my hands on the bed, he didn't even look at me. I took long strides until I was stood in front of him cupping his face with my hands bringing his face up to meet mine. I caressed his cheeks wiping away the tears that were streaming down his face with my thumb.

"I lied Baby, I know what I said but your in my veins. I'd follow you anywhere, I'd hunt you across the world, I'd burn this city to the ground just to have you. I'm selfish Kayson, I'm too fucking selfish to let you go. I need you Kayson."

Behind all the sadness, the brokenness I could see the fire burning in his eyes. He's changed we both know it, I can see it he's got more scars now every inch of his body is littered in them. There's a blaze in his eyes, a monster lurking underneath just like me. He's strong I know that dare I say he's stronger then me. I'm selfish I'm not going to deny it I need him, I love him.

"Why is it all about you, you need me what about what I need?!"

I know Baby, I know. His hands wrapped around my wrists, his claws digging into my skin but I didn't flinched or move away. I told him he could hate me, he could hurt me it's no more then I deserve I'd take whatever he threw at me just as long as I got him back because he's mine.

"Because I'm a selfish bastard who loves you Kayson and no matter how hard I try I can't let you go."

I just can't. He's my first mate, my first love I swore to him that I would always be here for him that I'd look after him and now look at us. My hands dropped from his face as he pulled back, all the anger had simmered out and all that was left was the broken man.

"You can't say that, you can't say you love me and then hurt me."

I took a step closer to him taking his hand in mine and placing it against my heart holding it in place. I just...I need him to understand, I need him to see I'm telling him the truth.

"I love you, am I lying to you?"

I let go of his hand, I half expected him to pull his hand back but he didn't his hand remain over my heart as he looked up at me.

"No."

I know I've lied to you Baby, I know I hurt you but I have never and would never lie to you when I tell you I love you.

"No. I'm not trying to hurt you Baby and I'm sorry that I am, I'm sorry if you hate me but I don't care. You can hate me it's okay because I won't ever stop loving you because if our love is painful I'll take it over losing you, over never feeling our type of love again. I know you don't trust me but at least trust that I love you, you can feel it Baby I know you can. Your in my veins, your under my skin Kayson and I just can't let you go."