E N C H A N T E D

Are you going to go?

Sirius spent the next couple of weeks lamely moping at the bar. Remus ignored him entirely; going so far as to serve him silently (bloody marys before 2 pm and red wine after). It was pathetic, Sirius knew that.

He almost got Remus to cave and talk to him. He'd made a habit of leaving inappropriately large tips that usually made Remus glare at him. Sometimes Remus would shake his head and frown like he was disappointed in Sirius, and that nearly gutted him. Sirius just wanted to do the right thing, but he didn't know where to start. Especially since Remus wouldn't talk to him or even listen to him. By the 15th day of silent treatment, Sirius was beginning to lose hope.

On the 16th day, Remus looked extra exhausted. Sirius convinced himself to loiter for a shorter amount of time than usual, just to give Remus a break. He wasn't even going to linger outside like he normally did, hoping that Remus would realize he was making and seek him out. He didn't have to.

"Sirius," Remus came rushing out the French door, "Sirius wait!"

Sirius turned immediately to face him; there was the smallest seed of hope burning in his chest that he'd made Remus realize that this was always something more than Remus had convinced himself it was. That this had nothing to do with Preston and everything to do with Remus and how fucking in love with him Sirius was.

"I can't take this," he walked up to Sirius and shoved the two hundred dollar bills into Sirius' chest.

"It's your tip."

"No, it's a gross display of you not knowing where the line is that you shouldn't cross."

Sirius frowned, "I want you to have it."

He pushed it harder into Sirius' chest, "I don't need you, Sirius. I don't know what kind of arrangements you and Preston have and why it had to be at my expense, but please stop now. Please."

"Remus... I," he gazed down at Remus. There were dark bags under his eyes and his lip was trembling ever so slightly. Sirius want to kiss him. He wanted to reach out and pull Remus to him so he could shield him from all the hurt in the world. "Are you okay?" He asked softly.

Remus adverted his gaze and leaned towards Sirius ever so slightly, and Sirius read the physical tell for what it was- Remus was not okay. No matter what he said next, Sirius would know the truth and that made him feel gutted.

"Can we talk sometime?"

Remus leaned away now and blinked back tears before he wiped his eyes on the back of his hands, then he shoved the money in his pocket.

"Please, Remus?"

Remus huffed a laugh, "why? About what?"

"About us, Re. About the future - you, me, the kids."

"There is no future," the melancholy in Remus' voice was a dagger to Sirius' heart. "Not anymore I guess, or maybe not ever." He looked up at Sirius, "please Sirius, it hurts to see you here every day. I did what I never do and that was get involved with someone I had emotional feelings for, and it fucking sucks," tears were rolling down his face now, "because all I want to do is get over you and I can't do that when I love you so much it hurts and I have to see you sitting at the bar every single time I'm here." He took a stuttering breath, "it hurts so fucking much." He was clutching his chest and Sirius had to practice every ounce of strength not to gather Remus up and hold him forever.

"Baby-"

"Don't." Remus' voice was icy now, "you do not get to waltz in here with your outrageous tips and terms of endearment and make this even harder on me!"

Sirius took a deep breath, "Remus, I care about you-"

"I think that you believe you do, but actually you don't." He pointed a finger at Sirius, "you pity me and you thought that it was a noble quest to swoop in and save me and why!?"

"What-"

"For Preston? He groomed you, Sirius. He did the same to me! He pushed money at me until I got it all mixed up with feelings and I thought I loved him! I hate myself so much for letting him in like that. I relied on him solely for money and emotional support and it filled some need in him to be needed but when he got sick of me, he dumped me on you." He swiped angrily at the few tears on his cheeks. "And I think more than anything I hate that I can't tell if he even knew what happened - if he did it on purpose or not. And that I fucking miss it even though I know I absolutely should not."

"I- I'm sorry."

Remus crossed his arms over his chest, "I need to get back. Please just give me a few weeks."

What was Sirius supposed to do besides listen to Remus' wishes. Fight when Remus so obviously wanted him to do anything but? "I'm sorry, Remus, really I am. I- I can't make you take me back but I really need you to know that everything thing I felt for you was real. None of it had to do with Preston."

"Okay."

They stood silently.

"Are you going to go?"

Sirius nodded, then Remus smiled softly at him and turned on his heel. Somehow he didn't notice Sirius' world crumbling around them.