Antiheroes

Chapter 35: Confort

Mainly just Karlnap fluff.

And Sapnap talking about his sex life.

What's not to love?
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Sapnap POV.

For about five minutes I sat awkwardly, waiting for Karl to come back, or for Phil to burst through the door and drag me to prison for, you know, my many accounts of committing arson, murder, torture, etc. It was hard to tell if someone was coming to the room or not because I could barely hear them talking.

After what felt like hours of waiting the door opened and Karl came in, he seemed lost in thought, almost in a daze, but he quickly snapped out of it when he saw me. I stood up, about to comment on how he looked but before I got the chance he asked me something.

“Did you tell him?” The teleporter questioned in a harsh tone, taking me aback slightly. I gave him a confused look, wondering what he was asking about but got no indication as to what it was from looking at him, so I had to ask.
“What are you talking about Karl?” I questioned, and he seemed annoyed at that.

“You should know what I mean!” He practically yelled in a hushed tone, if that was even possible. Karl seemed to notice a couple moments later that I still wasn’t sure, and he got himself to calm down before explaining.

“Somehow, Wilbur figured out that George I were both superheroes, even though neither of us interacted with him much. But he knew, and so that means someone had to tell him. At the time, you were the only one who knew about us, and then Wilbur knew.” Once again his tone grew harsh as he went back to accusing me. “So did you tell him?”

“No,” I seemed shocked that he’d accuse me of that. I know that I am a criminal, so Karl does have no obligation to trust me blindly, but I had hoped there was some level of trust between the two of us. The fact that it seemed there wasn’t saddened me. “How could you think that I would tell Wilbur?” I asked, trying not to let my feelings get to me.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to sound like that-” Karl immediately switched up, defending himself desperately. “I just started thinking about what had happened, and how neither of us had told Wilbur, unless someone else had told him by accident.” It was as if I could see the wheels turning in his mind as he tried to figure out the answer to the question.

“It’s fine,” I responded. “I know that you are just trying to protect yourself and George, don’t worry.” Even though I said that I felt slightly offended that he would have thought that I’d sell him out, but he said nothing else, and so neither did I. We were left in silence, and the teleporter seemed over it as he teleported from where he was standing onto the bed.

He curled up on his bed with his back facing towards me, and I let out a small sigh at that, feeling guilty even though I know that I didn’t do anything wrong. I just felt bad about everything that had happened to him, and about everything that also had happened to George too. It even felt weird, me feeling bad for him when he was planning on getting me arrested.

Was I that lovesick and desperate for love in response that I literally fell in love with my polar opposite? I asked myself, but the answer was a clear yes. Even though I had been with people in the past; men, women, non-binary folk, from all places and backgrounds, this was the person I cared about most.

And by ‘all places and backgrounds’ I meant it. I had been with other criminals (mainly a lot of low level thugs), hookers (who hasn’t), a cop (she was getting close to finding where I was hiding, it was self preservation), and even some of the other criminal bosses in the city (bringing business closer). Somehow though, the most dangerous option was the one I loved the most.

From behind me I heard sobbing, quiet sobbing that was clearly not meant for me to listen to, but I heard. The teleporter on the bed had curled into himself further, shaking slightly and muttering something under his breath. At this moment he looked nothing like a superhero, just like a normal person. The normal person that I had fallen in love with.

That was the difference I had decided, walking to sit on the small, cosy bed beside the brunette to comfort him. I rested my hand on his shoulder, giving him a small form of comfort to show that I was here to comfort him. Unlike everyone else, when I had fallen in love with him, it hadn’t had anything to do with what they are.

I hadn’t fallen in love with him when I knew he was a hooker. I hadn’t fallen in love with him when I knew he was a cop. I had fallen in love with him at a bar, not anything to do with the fact he was a superhero. Just that he was a boy, and that I thought he was cute, in both personality and looks.

Right now, I didn’t know what to say to help comfort him. So I laid down, pulling him against me, hoping that he’d feel safe with me. My head was resting against his back, listening to his rapid breathing and listening to him mutter under his breath.

He was just repeating the names again, as far as I could hear. Just repeating the names ‘Mom’, ‘Dad’, ‘Grandma’, ‘Grandad’, ‘Amy’, and ‘Jen’. I wondered what he was apologising for, and who they might be, but I didn’t say anything. I just listened quietly to what he was saying because it didn’t feel like I was meant to say anything.

Then he said something that surprised me even more. “Sorry Sapnap-” he whimpered quietly, adding it in amongst the stream of other strange apologies.
That was when I felt the urge to say something. He was saying sorry to me, even though he did nothing wrong. I moved up so that I was beside his ear, and kissed the side of his face gently.

“Karl,” I cooed quietly, listening to him fall silent at the sound of his name. “It’s okay. You don’t need to apologise for anything. You did nothing wrong okay?”
“But I did do something wrong-” he hiccuped lightly. “I’m the reason they’re dead! I could have saved them. I could have saved all of them!”

“What are you talking about?” I questioned, feeling confusion and curiosity override me. I tried to move Karl slightly so I could look at him, and once our eyes met I brushed away his tears gently with a sympathetic smile “Who could you have saved Baby?”

“My parents.” He whimpered. “I’m so sorry Mom that you died for me, I’m so sorry Dad that I could never meet you. And Amy and Jen I’m sorry too. It’s all my fault that they got in the car crash, and it’s my fault that I couldn’t save them. They are all in heaven hating me because I couldn’t save them.”

I hushed him once again, wrapping my arms around his waist and beginning to rock him back and forth gently. “It’s not your fault Karl.” I reassured him. “They would all be so proud of you darling. Just take a look at what you do for a living. You save people.”

“But I couldn’t save them,” he continued quietly. “If I can’t save them, then I can't save anyone. Why did I ever think I could be a hero?” It made my heart ache to hear him talk like this, especially about himself.

“Because you knew that you wanted to help people.” I answered his question for him, and he blinked up at me in confusion. I pulled him even closer. “Tomorrow, we can help some more people. We can save other innocent people by going for Wilbur, okay?” The brunette nodded his head, and I rubbed his fluffy hair reassuringly, before watching as he got comfortable.

“Have sweet dreams then sweetheart.” I told him, brushing a strand of loose hair away from his face before watching as his eyes fluttered shut.
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