Alina Kanaan

Chapter 20

Indeed, the Hereafter is better for you than the present life. (93:4)

Aman picks me up at the mansion. Finally he has time to go on a date with me. He keeps canceling and it's super annoying.

I get in the car wearing a cute outfit, but he stares straight off into the distance. I instantly feel hurt that he doesn't notice it. I shake it off and say hi to him. He barely muffles a hi back.

He starts driving, but I'm not sure where we're going.

"Where are we going?" I ask, breaking the awkward silence.

"I have no idea," he mumbles. I sigh and look out my window.

"Where should we go?" I ask again shortly.

"I don't know. You choose," he says in an angry tone.

"Why are you mad at me?!" I ask furiously. I don't know where that came from.

"I'm not mad!" he responds angrily.

"You are mad at me, aren't you? I'm so sorry for wanting to go on a date. I haven't seen you in a week and a half!"

"So?! We need a break once in a while! I need my space!"

"I understand that, but you should've told me that instead of saying you were busy. How can you lie to me like that?!"

"I wasn't lying because I was really busy. I had things to do."

"What kind of things?"

"None of your business! God, why do you have to know absolutely everything I do?!"

"I'm your fiancée! I have a right to know what you do!"

"Whatever."

"If you're going to act like this, then take me home!"

"No, because then you're going to be mad at me for God knows how long and this stupid ass thing!"

"No, it's your own fault! You lied to me because I know you weren't busy! You're avoiding me because you're sad about the baby! I'm sad too! I'm the one who lost it! How do you think I feel?! Why are you avoiding me?!"

"Get out of my car!"

"At least take me home first! I don't know this city!"

"GET OUT OF MY CAR!" He yells. I'm shocked at how he just yelled at me. Tears sting my eyes and my heart is beating faster than ever before. Who is Aman?

He pulls the car over and bursts into tears. I've never seen him cry this much before. He rarely cries in front of me anyway.

I start to cry too and hug him. He hugs me back. We sit there for who knows how long.

"I'm sorry," he manages to say though his tears.

"It's okay," I say.

"I'm so sorry." We sit there again without saying anything. I wipe my eyes and fix my makeup.

"I don't know what's wrong with me, Alina. First, I got you pregnant out of wedlock, which is extremely haram. Then you have a miscarriage and I learn that it's my fault. We can never have kids of our own! I killed our little baby! I killed it!" He yells, but much lower than before.

"You didn't kill it, Aman! None of us knew this was going to happen. We can adopt like we talked about. I don't mine adopting," I calmly say.

"I know you want to have a child of our own. I see it in your face. I wanted to too. Adopting a kid won't be the same."