Lillian's Deceit

18. Falling in love

Chapter 18

The carriage was rolling into his hometown, Evan decided to ride the past days instead of joining Eleanor inside the carriage, he found he needed the distance badly. God almighty, his wife was not only alluring, but she was addicting. Terribly dangerous to his senses, this morning he had difficulties rising out of bed with her curled up to him, it took all his restraints to force himself up and not sink back to her warmth. Everything, practically everything he sat out seemed to bite him back in the arse,

all the structriced ordinance just crumbled right in front of him, thanks to him loosing his mind, and he almost did as he thought of extending their honeymoon... One could think he shall feel satisfied and contened with a two week long honeymoon, considering that there were a few marriaged pairs being able to do that in their high rank, that should have been more then enough,

well it wasn't! and god if that was not making him crazy!

He turned his head to look at Eleanor inside the carriage, his wife... he couldn't count the numer of times he'd caught her gazing out upon the nature over the past several days, although he gathered information from Eleanors maids and aquatence that she didn't enjoy the sea he could hardly believe it. He'd seen noticeable pleasure alive in her eyes as she studied the rolling waves and the beauty of the winding shoreline.

In spite of her obvious enjoyment, she expressed no interest in exploring the beach. She would be hot, she'd say. She would get dirty. She would ruin her attire. Yet he sensed her protestations were half hearted at best. That underneath them she longed to indulge her senses, to break free of the restraints she had imposed upon herself and simply explore

At first, he'd worried she would be hoplessly bored without society and its constant diversions. He'd experienced a few uncomfortable moments, doubting his decision to bury the two of them hee in the country with nothing more exciting to do than tour the local sights. Yet she hadn't seemed bored at all. Quite the contrary. She'd had fun, he knew she had,her enjoyment in no way feigned. His own certaintly had been. He couldn't recall a better week he had in a very long time,

to his utter disbelief he felt sorry their time here was nearly over,

she'd surprised him. Her moods were meruciral, hard to pin down, ranging from gentle to haughty,playful to prickly He never knew what to expect of her. Strange but at times she almost seemed like two women. The outgoing belle-of-the-ball he'd courted in London; the woman who loved parties and people, and took delight in society. And the other was a fiesty yet shy woman who talked more to him than ever throughout their courting, who kissed him so passionetly and made him share tales he had never told no one. Laughing till the end of the night as they spoke of nothing and everything. He felt more than content... everytime he were around her she had this---------

Oh god,

he--- he was falling in love with his wife,

could it even be possible?

bloody hell, how in the world had he let himself do that, immedateily he tried to identify the guilt that rose as he thought of his past,

"Katherine....."

he tried to pick up images of his dead wife, he could barely recall her face, her voice, the once memories he held onto tightly faded into nothing but unexistence.

"No... Katherine.... forgive me...I swore to never love--" his mind raced in thoughts,

As the breeze hit his face he swear he could hear the crisp voice of Katherine's voice in his mind....."You silly man, why do you think your immune to love? why don't you think you deserve it? You deserve love.. lots of it.... more than any man,"