Lillian's Deceit

34. Loophole

chapter 34.

suddenly his lips were against his ears, "Hello Lillian" he said. His voice silky as the devil's.

She jumped, then tried to rise from his lap. He held her in place, his fingers biting bruisingly into the flesh of her arms.

"Don't you have anything to say?" he demanded.

She flinched, tears springing to her eyes.

"Don't bother turning on the waterworks madam. Your tears will have no effect on me"

He released her, she flew from his lap, "Well, have you nothing to say now that we both know who you are?"

Her lips opened, but no sound came out. He stood as well towering over her,

"Its quite a tale on how i find out, and to think I turned deaf ears to words around me, refusing to believe that a woman were capable of such cruelties, what were the stakes? and there's no point in trying to convince me I'm mistaken about you" He leaned down, thrust his face close to hers. "Speak. You didn't have any trouble chattering incessantly when you were pretending to be Eleanor"

She sniffed, her whole world shattering around her. "Evan. I'm sorry"

"Sorry you've been caught you mean"

"Yes. No. Oh, please you don't understand. " She reached out a pleading hand but he pulled away from her. "It's not what you think" she sighed helpessly

"It's exactly what I think. You and that sister of yours conspired together to decieve me. She decided she didn't want to go through with the wedding on the morning of the ceremony and talked you into taking her place---"

"No it was all me! I was the one convincing her... I thought you to be an horrible man for her! father liked you and he doesn't like anyone and he didn't want Kevin for Eleanor and instead you, i thought the worst..." she trailed off, he clenched his jaw narrowing his eyes on her,

"Was it the impending scandal or the money that made you do it? Or did you secretly long to be a countess and couldn't pass up the golden oportinty that fell suddenly into your lap? All you had to do, after all, was prostitue yourself by pretending to be another woman"

She recoiled as if he'd slapped her, her legs turned wobbly as she held for strength.

"I did it because I love my sister, and would do anything for her" her voice for the first time not trembling, watching the clenched jaw and strain in his face she continued, "I know it was wrong, I know that, but I never intended it to go this far, a few weeks was my plan once she and Kevin Eloped, then i would have told you"

"Is that so? So you have no shame, nothing of sort, sharing your body, house, with someone... the scandal upon your name---"

"I've had scandals, they are attatched to my name and certaintly another wouldn't have hurt"

He looked at her as if he couldn't hate her more, despite it all she continued, "But i know you were happy, for a time i think"

"You satisfied my lust, madam. What man wouldn't have been happy with that?" He drawled in a sardonic tone.

She knew he'd said it to hurt her, and he succeded. She closed her eyes, fought to steady her tumultuous emotions. Then she looked at him again, pleading. "I realize you're angry, and you have every right to be. You've been decieved in the most wrongful way. I'm not the woman you chose. And had i the ability to turn time i would have done things differently" saying that she looked away from his gaze, it hurt to see the disappointment, hate, confusion emotions all in one look, a long moment of silence passed before he broke it.

"Are you pregnant?"

"What?"

"I asked if you are pregnant. I want to know if i can expect my firstborn child to be a bastard. Assuming it would be my child"

"I've never been unfaithful to you. the note you found was meant for Eleanor, not for me. She---- Kevin the man she was seeing before the wedding "

"So i have been informed. I see you and your sister come to each other's rescue, lying for each other."

"I swear you are the only man I've ever been intimate with"

"In that, at least, I believe you" He leaned a hip against the bench, "So? Are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Pregnant. Are you carrying my child?"

A flush heated her cheeks. Thinking of her carrying Evan's child... what a silly notion... and god what it would have complicated everything

"No" the single word rasped from her throat like a small death.

"That's a relief. At least we won't have to worry about ruining the life of some poor innocent child"

His words didn't make her relieved, it crushed her. "Yes indeed." she muttered hollowly.

they stared at each other, she silently hoped he could understand how sorry she was, but it didn't seem to look like it as he tore his gaze away, "We will speak more of this when we return to Essex"

"You don't intend to cast me away?"

He looked back at her then chuckled, "If it was that easy, you have forgotten that the marriage license still exists, wether it stays in your sisters name"

Oh god, she had not thought of that at all.

"But I am not your rightful bride"

"I think we have established that"

"What do you mean then? that I am to be staying as your wife?---"

He held her gaze hard, "While you can blink to scandal, I have responsibilites in my life no doubt you don't have any regard for, the last thing i need is my marriage to play like circus in public,"

Oh god if only he knew she wanted to save him from scandal, she was a walking one... if he found out the reason she was banished there would be nothing they could do, the only thing her father wouldn't tell to anyone indeed,

Evan he would have a scandal on his name for generations.

And she would hate herself forever.

There must be someway to leave... some loophole through it all

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