Lillian's Deceit

17. Not hers

chapter 17

Their honeymoon week flashed by on humming bird's wings, a brief span of time both magical and intense. Each day an adventure. Each night magnificent delight.

Lillian's mind drifted back to the last few days that filled her with warmth that she never had felt before.

The outing to corfe castle proved a great sucess. Lillian roamed the grounds with Evan at her side, soaking up the history and the atmosphere without being compelled to reveal the true depths of her enjoyment. They lunched on a grassy knoll beneath the shade of a small oak tree. A gentle, luffing breeze cooled the air to a pleasant degree while they dined on tender roast, chicken, succulent morsels of fruit, sweetmeats and Mrs. grimm's delicious biscuits

Afterward, Evan stretched his long frame across the picnic blanket, nestled his head onto Lillian's lap and fell asleep. She sat utterly content, which she rarely felt in her life, she watched him while dreams filled his mind. Occasionally she would stroke a few locks of his thick blonde hair. Fingering the ends that curled ever so slightly in the warm humid coastal air.

Slowly he awakened, a look of slumberous desire glinting in his eyes. Her heart gave an answering leap as he drew her to him. Then he captured her lips in a fiery joining that could surely have caught the castle keep on fire had it not already fallen to ruin long ago

The days to follow were wonderful, occupied by long walks and quiet conversations. Somedays Evan rose before her, she could see the evidence of the previous night , his head printed on the pillow and his manly scent over the bed, he would ride with his horse, leaving Lillian to sleep in. While her twin would love nothing but that Lillian was an early bird, Ireland had changed the party girl inside her, she felt at peace seeing the nature surrounding her.

Thinking of Ireland made her miss the place..she missed her dog desperately and she had a strange image of Evan and her dog becoming best buddies, it was odd how in her head she imagined Evan in Ireland with her, as if he had been there and it all made sense.

she always saw Ireland more home to her than England... perhaps that explained..... Oh god! her aunt cecilia.... how she longed to tell her all the things that occured, not to mention that her biggest wish had been granted, of her becoming married, oh if only she knew how

Lillian felt a smile tug at the corner of her lips just thinking of telling her aunt she was disugising herself as her twin sister, her aunt would have a fist and clutch her bosom dramatically and a blaspheme or two would escape her mouth.

the reality of what she done sank into her---- the reality of her false living-----

No she didn't want to think of that, she couldn't stand it... the cruelness of her actions had only hit her the more time she spent with Evan, the way he would look at her, take her and not know that underneath it all she was a pretender, a liar. and while she felt guilt to even enjoy the moment she knew it would come to an end. And all that awaited her was the letter her sister promised to write. Then this fairytale would have its ending... and her harsh reality would return, but for now there was no hurt soaking in the moment.

Everything Lillian pictured Evan turned out wrong.... when she thought he would treat her with coldness and brutality he was instead understanding and affeconaite, caring and wanted to know about her, truly. he even asked about her childhood and shared laughter, she realised he could be a companionship, a friend at times.... Then there was times that the flame burned to hot, only fire that didn't seem to burn out. Where desire and want overtook everything.

Night was the one time she felt truly free to be herself. She reveled in the both mornings and nights when she and Evan found pleasure, when he came to her, came into her, allowing her to pour forth all the passion waiting inside. she was wild and uncontrollable, and he didn't hide his delight, when they made love, he made love with her, with Lillian. Every touch, her touch, every kiss, her kiss. Each emotion, real and honest. Each cry of pleasure and delight cleaved from her body, drawn from her soul

while there were times... Hurtful times when he would call out her sister's name, leaving a lump in her chest, an ache in her heart that she was helpless to dispel. She had chosen her path. Assumed her twin's identity. Now she must live with the consequences.

She wanted to tell him. Sometimes she had to bite her lip to keep the truth from tumbling out. In only a few days time, she'd come to know him as she'd never thought she might. To understand him, at least in part. She could sense that there were certain topics and subjects he did not want to dive in, his past was a strictly closed one that made her curious even more. Yet she could feel that he trust her, and he was always there, either touching her or sharing tales, god her pursuits and plans of putting the man in place and teaching him a lesson or two had gone down hill.... she never expected her heart to follow that direction... While she felt happy,

Her mind recalled the words he said so seriously on her wedding night, she couldn't forget the look in his eyes

"I am not going to punish you for your past sins, No, what i hate more is lies and making a fool of me---- i won't stand for that"

Oh god, she had done it this time, in the path of no return. He would hate her once he found out... Loath her.... despise her....And want nothing to do with her.... and she would watch it happen.... not being able to do anything about it.

Because he was not hers, nor will he ever be.

and god did she have to keep reminding herself that

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      A/N : Hi guys! I apologise for the lack of update, promise that I will work on it since you guys seem to like my book, please don't forget to vote so I can see you guys enjoyed this chapter!.

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