Ana taught me (N.H.au )

Lesson 12) tell the truth

Double update bc I love you

Niall's POV
I'm officially going to rehab , honestly i'm not that nervous I need to change my habits and get a rid off Ana. From now I get watched 24/7 and get to keep myself to a diet and don't work out. 'I'm gonna miss you Ni' Harry said teary eyes 'I'll be back soon don't worry! I'm gonna fight that's for sure I love u okay? And tell Louis that if he breaks your heart I come and find him as soon i'm out of rehab' I said making him laugh 'We read letters to each other okay?' He said sniffing 'Of course! tell me about everything okay even the little details' I said. He nods and kisses my cheek.

Liam comes awkwardly to me 'I'm gonna miss you more than anyone else is gonna do' he said with tear stained cheeks 'I'm gonna miss you too Liam and I can't thank you enough for everything you done for me' I said getting a bit emotional.
'That was nothing, you are strong Niall and i'm sure you are out of there very fast cus' you are a fighter' he said crying now I hug him tight. I feel butterflies in my stomach , am I having feelings for Liam?
'See you soon Liamo' I said smiling through the tears.

After seeing goodbye to my mom , brother and no you don't read it wrong my dad didn't come mom said he was having a lot of customers.
A woman comes to me big fake smile on her face and a way to much makeup. 'You must be Niall' I smile weakly at her , she sticks her hand at me 'Jessica Marks' she said 'Nice to meet you' I said politely she just nods.

'This is your room , you have a room mate who's at the moment in his therapy moment' she said , I drop my bags and sit on the bed without clothes all over it. I take out my notebook and start with my first letter to Harry.

Dear Hazza,
It isn't so bad as I thought it would be , the rooms are normal not with very bright colours but not with dark ones either just normal. I have a room mate I don't know if i'm happy with that or not I don't like the thought of this person might judge me but let's think posetive right?
I'm gonna work hard , I want to come out of here as fast but as good possible. It's gonna be hard and I know that, I have to fall back and stand up but I know i'll make it.
Thanks Liam once again he's a true hero , say hi from me to the rest and please film Louis whenever he is sassy af I would love to watch it like a movie ;)

Kind regards , Niall

I fold the note and put it in my pocket , the door got opened by a guy with a kind of dirty blond hair.
'Whoah didn't see you' he said with a giggle about his own reaction 'I'm Luke and you are?' He asked nicely. I thought this hospital rehab thingy was for only Anorexic/Bullimic people. He waves a hand in the front of my eyes 'Hello earth on boy who I don't know the name of' he said causing me to crack up as soon i'm out of thoughts , he needs to laugh about me. 'Sorry I spaced out but i'm Niall...Horan' I said turning a slight pink colour. 'Luke Hemmings' he said once again.

'Sorry for asking already but this is only for people with an eating disorder right? Not that I mean your fat or something! Hella no you look amazing your muscled and stuff... Jesus i'm so awkward' I said turning a bright red no , he giggles and shakes his head 'If you believe it or not I used to have Bullimia' he said.
'Wow you must do great cos I didn't see that' I said he smiles bright 'Yes I have only 3 weeks to go and I be able to go home' He said. 'Wow that's amazing' I said. 'I can see you suffer but can I be so rude to ask you how many you weight? Cus you seem like one of the thinnest I ever have seen' He said in awe.

'Honestly I'm not proud of it , but I weigh 92 lbs' I said biting my lip 'Whooa that's really almost nothing , as I hear you talking I see you'll be fine really fast you are at the end of this whole i'm anorexic thingy' he said. 'What do you mean?' I asked confused. 'Mentally you are already really far cus you aren't in denyal , your already at the last step acceptence that's really good' I smile at him 'All because of my friend' I said proudly.

After our conversation I knew I was gonna have a fun time with this guy.
It was time for a talk with the nurse who is gonna help me 'Jeanine Cluster nice to meet you' a pretty thin black haired woman said. I feel a bit of an anxiety , she's so thin and beautiful 'Niall Horan' I said not with my head in this.

"You see what you lose when you don't listen to me , look at her she is beautiful you should atleast have legs like hers" ana said.

'No shut up!' I said Jeanine looks at me 'I didn't say anything' she said.
'No i'm sorry' I said sitting down embaressed 'I'm gonna ask you a few questions and I want you to answer them honestly okay? have you ever self harmed yourself?' She asked 'No never' I said.
'Why did you want to lose weight in the first place?' She asked 'Easy I look disgusting' I said. She scribbles something down 'Though my friends tell me i'm almost only bones I do believe i'm not healthy anymore' I added , she scribbles more down.
'What happend the day you started to do this to yourself?' This question gives me a shot of pain going to my chest. I feel my eyes getting watery, I bite my lip she looks at me sympathic 'Niall?' She asked 'We were eating dinner my family and I , I enjoyed the food cus I always did and my d-dad he start saying I had to slow down and a-asked me if I w-wasn't getting a bit fat , He made me lose my appitat I felt to urgue to vomit' I stop for a moment to take a breath.

'But I didn't instead I left my food uneaten , no one said my dad wasn't right not my brother not my mom so he must have been right right? I went upstairs looking in the mirror judging every single flaw I had every piece of fat on my body, I got disgusted by it' I stop again feeling more tears roll down my cheeks and anger boiling inside 'I made up the worlds stupidest plan ever! To please someone who w-who doesn't even w-want to show up b-before I went here' I'm yelling at this point so furious am I 'I pushed away everyone who was worried I lost my good band with Harry my bestfriend , I really believed he was right my dad and for free I got this stupid voice in my head telling me to work out better , eating nothing and vomit if I did' I said more tears trail down my cheeks.

'So Niall has this voice a name?' She asked , I laugh bitterly 'This voice is called Ana and she'll try to kill you' I said darkly...

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This is the end.