Ana taught me (N.H.au )

Lesson 23) We can blame everyone

Liam's POV
Another week passed and it's Saturday I can go home. Zayn is waiting outside if i'm right.
I thank the woman who helped me one more time and said goodbye to the woman behind the counter.

Finally free , free like a bird. I walk outside to see Zayn with bloodshot eyes. 'Zayn what's wrong?' He brings me in a tight hug 'So happy you're back!' He said faking his happiness. 'Zayn? What's wrong you have bloodshot eyes' I said really confused. I saw tears blurring his vision. He starts sobbing 'I-I failed a-again' he cried 'What what do you mean with failing? and what with again?' I asked scared.

He shakes his head heavily , my heart starts beating harder. I grab his shoulders and shake him 'WTF Zayn tell me' I yelled in his face tears forming in my eyes. I'm so fucking afraid.
'N-N-niall he-he his...' He takes a deep trembling breath 'Ambulances , h-he got a-an heart attack t-they said he t-there's a big chance h-he dies t-tonight' He said breaking down completely. 'I've seen it go from bad to worse and done nothing , he wasn't on school what could I do , you could at least go visit him' he's going insane he is talking to himself.
The shock is to big I can't talk my knees are getting weak and everything is blurry. All these nightmares they were all true.

'I'm gonna faint' I warned Zayn before passing out.

~*~
I wake up in an familiar home , yellow walls, light brown couch and really nice paintings. I'm in Zayns house.
I see Trisha and Zayn discussing something. Zayn noticed I'm awake and hands me a glass of water.
'You passed out for quite some time mate' he said 'do you remember why you passed out?' I shake my head.
'You passed out because- uhm... mom can you tell it' He said his mom walks to me and I see him biting nervously on his nails.

'Sweetheart you are gonna panic and freak out but there's no need okay everything will be fine , Niall got an heart attack this morning before Zayn picked you up but Niall is in good hands' She said , tears burning in my eyes. I close my eyes and let them stream down my cheeks and I let out choked sobs. Once again the love of my life slipped through my fingers.
'H-h-how could y-you w-watch it h-happen a-a-again?' I asked hiccuping , Zayn is crying loudly too.
'I-I didn't t-t-think, I saw Josh judging him and I almost beat the shit out of him but I t-thought after the party h-his mom would have n-noticed his sunken cheeks' he stuttert.
'HIS MOM IS THE SAME AS HIS DAD THEY BOTH DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT NIALL!' I yelled feeling the burning pain in my chest.

Minutes later we are on our way to Harry's house because apparently Niall's mom is there. My stomach churns when I hear the loud cries from Harry , Louis and I think his mom. As we step inside the living room. We see Louis and Harry hug tight crying and Anne trying to comfort Niall's mom.

'L-Liam' Harry said surprised little smile dancing on his lips 'You're back to being yourself I see' he smiled bright Louis smiles to but I only get tears in my eyes.
'I should feel happy but I once again let him slip through my fingers' I said bursting out in sobbing once again. Zayn hugs me tight 'It's not your fault! I should have warned Maura the only one to blame is me' He said cracking voice.

'No Zayn! It's my fault he didn't want to go to the pool party bells should have ringed by then and I was pathetic for not doing anything you can all blame this on ME' Louis cried out.

'No Louis! You should all blame ME , I am his bestfriend I should've been there for him and close before he had that heart attack something happend' Harry sobbed.

{A/N what happend is gonna be told in Harry's POV but I continue in Liam's right after ;) }

**
Niall and I are on our way to go get some Frozen Yogurt as breakfast because why not. I decided that I want to make it up with him since we fighted. We walk in the shop , Niall tugs his sleeves nervously. 'Are you okay Ni?' I asked , he nods and smiles. Add fake to the smile.
'How can I help you guys?' A cheery brown haired girl said with a bright purple lipstick. Her namecard says "Jade".
'Uhm I want a medium with nutella, oreo cookies and regular cookies please Jade' I said with a wink , she rolls her eyes but laughs. She makes mine and places it in the front of me. 'What about you blond?' She asked sweetly 'I pass' he said with a warm smile.
'Alright-' I cut her off 'Sorry to cut you off but he wants a little one with pure chocolate and regular cookies' I said with a big smile , she smiles back and makes Niall's. 'That's £6' she said.
I give the money and say goodbye.
'Why did you do that Harry' Niall said in the car with an irritated voice.
'Becauseeee , you never eat icecream anymore even though this isn't icecream' I said handing him the Yogurt.

'I can't eat this Harry' he said biting his lip 'Why not?' I asked , he isn't himself lately. 'I can't add more fat to my already huge lovehandles' He mumbled but it was loud enough for me to hear. 'Which lovehandles? I see non' I said looking deep in his eyes.
'What I do see, is that your cheeks are sunken and that is not how I know you , you have cute cheeks you can squeeze' I said looking even deeper in his bright blue eyes. Noticing his pain. Tears fog is eyes.

'These!' He said pointing at his "lovehandles" as he rolls up his oversized sweater to give me a look at his "lovehandles". I only see his bones sticking out 'But Niall your bones stick out! you're anorexic again oh my dear god' the last part I whispered to myself.
He steps out of my car and runs away. His Yogurt falls to the ground and I bow to clean up. I can't chase Niall. I'm too late.
**

We all look at Harry , guilt in his eyes.
'STOP IT! It's non of your faults! Anorexia can never be gone completely , so something has made it come back to Niall' his mom yelled.
'He did so well when we was back from rehab something must have ripped open his old wounds cus' his mind made a great turn when he was back from rehab' she said.

Suddenly something hits me, Niall knew about my dad coming visiting he said he couldn't stop him anymore. He had contact with my dad. 'I know what might changed him' I said breathing getting heavier.
'Tell us Liam' Maura said. 'M-my he' I take a deep breath 'He called a few days ago saying that "that he was back and she to" niall told me once that he just heard a womans voice in his head telling him to fast and stuff. That was his Anorexia but the he was my father' I take once again a deep breath , their faces stand confused.

'You all know i've been send by my parents to gay cure rehab , my dad isn't a nice man what if he made Niall feel shit about himself' I said , his mom slaps a hand in the front of her mouth.
'And Josh , what about him?' Zayn said.
'Josh has been bullying and calling him names too' Zayn said.
Maura let out heart breaking sobs and cries in the arms of Anne.

'My baby boy' she repeated a lot of times. I'm trembling on my legs it's all too much to cope with. Louis seemed to notice , stands up and helps me to the couch. My lip trembles heavily of anger and deep pain.
'I wanna kill him! No wait I am gonna kill him!' I said furious. My body is so worn out I don't even know what to do. I need to kill him but I don't have the power.

'You look great Liam i'm sorry I didn't pay attetion to that yet' Niall's mom said. 'Thank you but it doesn't matter I can't be happy until I know Niall is okay' I said.

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