Nyx | Carpe Noctem ✓

Chapter 18: Hale?

∙ Madis POV ∙

I found it so difficult to accept. What had happend. What I had become. Fae. The word sounded so strange in my ears and tasted so bitter at the back of my mouth.

I was fae—it seemed so surreal. My whole life I had been mortal...not any longer.

Thoughts flooded my mind and made it nearly impossible for me to rest. Sleeping seemed like a sheer impossibility. My thoughts were too loud, racing through my mind.

The first night after being turned I hadn't been able to sleep. Not a single damn minute. First I had taken a bath, thoroughly washed my hair and body. It had felt like I had done all those things for the first time. After the bath, I had not put on my scratchy nightgown but rather had slipped into some silken pyjamas that had been laid out for me. I once again had no idea who had laid them out for me, I guessed that their house was somehow magical.

The whole first night I had wiggled around in the bed, pushed the pillows away, but I hadn't been able to fall asleep. What was I supposed to do in this whole new place?

I was immortal. I was not ill anymore. I had no idea what it was like to not be ill. To have no pain in your heart. To breathe normally. To live without being afraid of death. And to live in a house. In a house with a family. Not my family. But they were a family.

When had been sure that I was unable to sleep I had sat down in front of the huge floor-to-ceiling window and had stared outside. I somehow had hoped I would be able to see all the way to the Mortal Lands. All the way to Aesa and Geavin. I had had clutched my knees tightly to my chest and watched the sun rise on the horizon.

Sunrise.
Just when I had thought I would never see the sun rise again my whole life had been turned upside down.

During the first night at that new place I had no idea for how long I would stay in that room. I had no idea that it would be two and a half weeks which I would solely stay in there, mostly pacing my room and staring outside or at the ceiling. Food had been brought up, but I hadn't been able to bring myself to leave. They had tried to talk to me, Nyx had knocked many times, asking me how I felt, but I had ignored all the questions. I did feel a little bad about...

∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙

I once again found myself sitting by the window after having gotten hardly any sleep the previous night. I leaned closer to the window, pressing my face against the cool glass. Slowly the sun crept over the mountains and I took a glance at the river. That place, that city, all of it...it was a dream. More amazing and beautiful than I could have ever imagined. I leaned my head against the glass, staring into the distance. I once again let my fingers brush over my ears. Pointy ears. I once again had spent nearly an hour staring at myself in the mirror the previous night.

I had never seen myself so alive. So healthy. It was insane. I could hardly believe my eyes. My teeth had been so white all of a sudden. And my skin was rosy, not pale. My lips were full and plump and not dry. It was insane, but I felt...pretty. For the first time in my life.

People —fae— started crowding the streets. Also children. Happy and laughing children. A sharp pain, not the pain I was used to, shot through my heart. It was a different kind of pain. Mental and not physical pain. The kind of pain that hurts more and haunts you in the dead of night.

Happy and laughing children. I had never seen so much happiness. Again a tear slipped over my face and I quickly wiped it away.

A soft knock on the door ripped me out of my thoughts and I quickly glanced back over my shoulder.