Loving the Quarterback

27

Hazels POV

"I'm fine" I snap at Logan.

Logan, my poor fiancé who has been on the not so fun end of my fury these past twenty four hours.

My normal level of anger mixed with my hormones from pregnancy make my attitude nearly unbearable, and I'm lucky to be loved by someone so patient.

I just finished crying for the umpteenth time today and am currently stuffing mint chocolate chip ice cream down my throat, my feet curled up in the tan leather seat.

We've been on the plane for half an hour, and I cried for the first twenty minutes.

Really, I'm not even angry. I'm just really fucking upset and hurt. Which in turn, makes me angry.

It's a vicious cycle.

"I know baby," he raises his hands in surrender. "I just-can I sit down next to you?"

It takes me a second to realize that I've been glaring at him. I soften my face and nod my head.

"Yeah" I scoot over so that he can sit next to me on the two person seat. 

He sits down and wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me into his side.

"I'm sorry" I mumble, laying my head on his shoulder and shoving my spoon in my mouth.

"Don't apologize captain" he kisses my forehead. "You wanna talk about it yet?"

He's been giving me space, letting me be upset about what my grandfather did. I love him for it, and since it's just us two on the private jet he rented, I feel comfortable enough to open up about it right now.

I sit up, and take a deep breath while stuffing my spoon into the ice cream for the time being.

"I know my grandfather has done a lot of things, but this? It just feels like a slap in the face" I take another scoop of ice cream and eat it.

"Maybe he didn't mean it that way" Logan offers but I shake my head.

"No he did" I swallow the cold delight. "He doesn't trust that I know what's best for myself even after all these years, and to add insult to injury, he put our marriage up for collateral" my nose flares and I take a deep breath. 

Logan takes the ice cream out of my hands and sits it on the small table in front of us before lifting me up, like a weigh nothing, and sitting me on his lap.

"So then we'll prove him wrong" he looks into my eyes, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "He didn't even want us in a relationship when we were in high school, this isn't new to us"

"It's not about proving him wrong" I shake my head feeling more tears well in my eyes. "It's not even about you, you have nothing to do with it because he trusts you"

"What are you talking about?" he frowns furrowing his eyebrows.

"He doesn't trust me" A tear falls from my eye and I wipe it away with the palm of my hand viciously. "He doesn't think I can stay married for that long. It's a slap in the face to me"

My chest caves and I huff trying to stop anymore tears from falling. 

"Baby" Logan softly puts his hands on my cheeks. "It doesn't matter what he thinks, you know that's not true"

"I love you" I feel my body start to shake from trying to hold in my tears. "And I want to marry you and be married to you forever. It just hurts that he thinks I'm so fucked up that I can't do it"

My voice lowers to a whisper. I've been working on my problems a lot in therapy and it's been going good, but now I feel set all the way back to the beginning again. I thought I was making progress, but clearly not enough if he doesn't think my love for Logan will last.