Perfectly broken

Part 1

First ever SKZ fanfic, and obviously it's written in my dark and depressing style. I hope you "enjoy" or whatever you call it, and thanks for coming. I hope you are having a great day, night or whatever time it is. 

(Disclaimer: obviously this is not real. I have no idea what really happens in their life and I hope they are all happy and healthy. The only real thing is how unnatural sweet they all are)

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Felix POV

He couldn't believe it. He was on the verge of being eliminated and then he made a mistake at the busking. It hadn't even been the rapping, which he had been more than nervous about. He had made a mistake in the choreography. He had been absolutely appalled with himself. He wasn't a very good singer, apparently he lacked charisma and his rapping in Korean wasn't the best, but dancing... he was supposed to have been a good dancer.

And yet, this was where he stood. He barely managed to catch the whole sentence, but he didn't have to hear JYP's words to know what had been said. He could see it in his eyes and feel it in the atmosphere around him. He felt the others guys eyes on him and felt the sadness that burdened their shoulders. They had failed yet again, and lost another member.

Felix couldn't get himself to look at them. He did everything in his power to not cry in front of JYP and that would shatter the moment he looked at any of them.

He saw JYP's mouth move as he left the room, but he didn't hear the words. It was silent. The whole room was silent.

He couldn't take it anymore. As the door closed the first tears began rolling down his cheeks. Everyone else was crying as well. He felt their shaking bodies as they pulled him closer and felt their tears wet his sweater. He wanted them to know how sorry he was. He wanted to apologize for letting them down, but it was hard when his throat was tighter than ever before and the crying wouldn't seize.

He let himself being pulled into the warm embrace of Chan, as he gave up trying to say anything else than sorry and broken sobs. Chan was also apologizing and promising him to never leave him behind. At that very moment it didn't mean much, but Felix appreciated it never the less.

He carefully glanced over Chans shoulder and was met with the sad sight of all his best friends crying. Everyone was sad and it was all because of his lacking skills.

Felix looked around for Hyunjin. He was the only one who hadn't tried to comfort him yet. It didn't quite surprise him as the other rapper was a bit more controlled with his feelings and less likely to open up, but it still stung slightly.

He found him in one of the corners of the room. He was standing with his back towards the others, but his tense body was easy to pick up on.

"I'm not gonna leave you behind!" Chan insisted pulling back slightly to look the younger in the eyes.

Felix nodded, not able to form words and quickly wiped his face with his sleeve as he was let go. He tried to smile at the leader, but at best it ended up being some kind of grimace.

He looked back at the room corner, just to find Hyunjin still standing there. He didn't hesitate when he neared him. Hyunjin was not one for strong emotions and being close, but he never refused it when Felix offered it... which was a lot.

"Hyunjin" he said hoarsely and put a hand on the taller man's shoulder.

He blinked in surprise when he shrugged him off. Hyunjin turned towards him and even though there were tears on his cheeks there was anger in his eyes.

"Why did you have to do it?"

Felix didn't know what to answer. The others had asked him that as well, but none of them had sounded angry. Hyunjin definitely did. He lifted a finger and pointed it to Felix's shocked face.