Perfectly broken

Part 18

Get ready to some soft times. We need Hyunlix back obviously.

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Chan POV

Chan had no doubts about having the conversation, but he didn't feel confident though. He knew that Felix wouldn't be taking it well. Either he would cry and run away or he would fight, but whatever it was- Chan had to be ready for it. He had asked Minho and Jisung to be in the next room, just to be sure. It felt crazy- having to ask for assistance when all he had to do was talk to Felix, but he deemed it necessary never the less.

Chan looked up when the door opened. Felix poked his head in, smiling as he laid eyes on the other.

"Hyung! What are you doing in here?"

Chan cleared his throat before padding the bed he was seated on. It was Felix's own and even if Chan hadn't already known, the faint smell of sweet shampoo on the pillow would have given him away.

"We have the first concert of the tour in a few days."

Felix furrowed his brows as he neared him, sitting down carefully by his side. "I know that."

"Yeah, of course you do..." Chan chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his head. "You know that I am the leader, and I have to make some difficult decision at times."

He knew he was stalling, but he truly wasn't enjoying this situation at all. Felix didn't seem to have caught up on anything yet though. He had folded his legs under him and looked up at his hyung with patience.

Chan tried to calm down, placing a grounding hand on Felix's leg. "For the sake of STAY, the rest of the members, but you the most- I will not allow you on stage in the condition you are at the moment."

Felix's face froze. Chan nervously tapped his leg, before quickly continuing. "You are not healthy. You keep fainting, you're too dizzy to walk in a straight line and you're always cold and shaking. Felix, this shouldn't be up to debate at all."

"How dare you!"

Felix's scream definitely startled Chan, but he did his best to not show it. He tried to stay as calm as possible as he placed his other hand on the younger as well to make sure he didn't make a run for it. But Felix seemed too shocked to do anything but stare at him for now.

"I'll give you two options" he began, meeting the other's eyes. "Either you will continue making yourself worse and we will all let you. We won't force you to anything, but you can't go on stage with us."

Chan's heart hurt when he saw the tears beginning to form in the youngers eyes, but he didn't halter his speech. "-Or, you will let us help you, and join us on stage, being your best and healthy self."

He had expected tears, yelling and fighting, therefor it was almost so much scarier when Felix just looked at him, seemingly too exhausted to muster up any of those things.

"I'm doing it for STAY" he whispered, but it didn't really sound like he believed it himself.

Chan shook his head. "No, you're doing it for the sake of JYP and I will take care of him."

Felix looked into his eyes as if he was looking for some kind of answer in there and Chan wanted nothing more than to give it to him.

"I don't understand what is expected from me" he whispered hoarsely.

Chan shook his head. "Me neither, but it's over, okay? I should have done something sooner. I should have listened to Hyunjin a long time ago."

He should have known that that one name could have been the breaking point. He quickly caught the other in his arms when Felix jumped closer, clinging to him as his life depended on it.