ARRANGE MARRIAGE (COMPLETE)

THIRTY FIVE

I don't know how all of this happened. Things should not have happened like this. It was not supposed to happen like this . By this time I should have returned from Maldives with Rishabh and should be pursuing my career and PhD . I thought and tears escaped my eyes . I don't know what to do. I absentmindedly noted whatever our family was speaking as every one took our leave one by one . When kartik bhaisa and Rudra bhaisa enquired about Rishabh I looked at Ajay as he was the one who went behind Rishabh when I was making sure masa levas for now with Riya bhabhisa but when Ajay nodded his head in no Sighing I gave them some excuse

Abhijeet bhaiya came and hugged me tight I so wanted to cry in his arms but I cannot fall weak now when Rishabh is not in a state to control things . One among both of us has to hold the fort. Every time it's Rishabh who takes care of me now it's my turn and I know what I need to do .

So when Rudra bhaisa said , "Kriti I think it is best if me and abhijeet along with Priya and Seema bhabhi stay here tonight " I knew I had to deny him although his intentions are pure but I don't know if Rishabh let his family to see his vulnerable side and I am sure he wont like my family to see him like this and till he doesn't want anyone to see him I won't let anyone see him. I cannot let people see him fall weak no matter who it is.... either his family or mine .

"Bhaisa please don't misunderstand me. I am glad we both have you all with us but you need to be with masa and bapusa they are worried and bhaiya and bhabhi needs to be with mom and Dad . If I feel i need you i will call you . It's already two Rishabh won't come back before 6 till then why don't you all go and rest you all can come back tomorrow " i said and gave a pleading look to bhabhi praying she understands what i am trying to do thankfully she understood my intentions nodding at me she helped me convince bhaisa and bhaiya and they all left .

I enter Rishabh's study with food tray . Seeing him like this broke me . He was sitting on sofa lost in his thoughts . I signed and went and sat beside him taking his hands in mine I called his name softly . He looked at me. As soon as I look in his eyes I was shocked. It's true that our eyes are our mirror and Rishabh's eyes were a mirror of his heart and mind now. His eyes have lost all its spark and shine, its power , its aura, its mischief , its confidence and in front of me sat a man whose eyes were only filled with one emotion and that's was guilt

Guilt ..... among all the emotions guilt is the worst because it can make people's minds behave and do strange things. I cannot let my Rishu be trapped in his Guilt. No, I have to take him out of his Guilt. I immediately huged him tight . I hid his face in my chest and wrapped my arms around him . My one arm was wrapped around his torso and other was caressing his hairs his face was hidden in my chest. I had held him in my protective embrace . He lay still for some minutes then wrapped his arm around my waist and pushed himself deeper in my chest as if hiding himself from reality . I kept caressing his hairs and scalp and kept placing kisses on his forehead .

After some minutes I made him look in my eyes and spoke slowly with love and warmth in my voice , "Rishu you do know that you and me are one ..we are just like two sides of coin at the end we make the coin ...you don't need to stop yourself in front of me . We are two parts of one soul. express your emotions don't let them build inside you " and waited and prayed that he will not hold all this inside him. That he will express himself.

He didn't say anything but hid his face in my arms again tightened his grip on my waist . He did not even realise that his nails were piercing my skin but I let him express himself in whatever way he was doing. I was just glad there were other emotions running in his heart and mind. That his subconscious has successfully diverted his emotions which he was channeling in guilt into combination of guilt, anger, fear, sorrow . We both were sitting in each other's embrace .

After half an hour I felt something wet . I hugged him tight realising it was his tears . I caress his hair and pressed him more in myself . Leaning near his ears I spoke slowly with only and only love in my voice "let it go Jaan please " emphasising on the word Jaan to let him know what he is to me. That was last blow to the barrier he had built and for next one hour all he did was cry till he had no more tears with him to shed . He slept crying keeping his head in my lap.

I am glad he slept but I cant sleep I didnot knew our life will take such drastic change that one incident will change everything .

As a psychiatrist and human I understood what he did was right thing to do. He had no other option . He did what he was suppose to do . But this is huge it will not only affect his personal or professional life but our relation, our life and mine personal and professional life too . I know he has not taken the decission in guilt that he understands he has responsibilities he need to fulfill . But can i perform my duty , my responsibility? Am i ready for it ? Will I be able to do justice with my responsibilities ?

As a human I should understand and support him knowing that he has no control over the situation and we all are just pawns in the hands of destiny . But this is huge. If I take the responsibility I should be ready to perform my duty faithfully .

P.S Next chapter will be flashback of this chapter