To Stand by Your Side (DekuBaku)

Chapter 19: Homecoming

It was the first of July.

"Valiant, over here! There's a group of collapsed houses that haven't been searched yet."

More than two months since he'd arrived, and the smell was still awful.

"Ah, right... I'll try and get it cleared up in the next hour or so."

This wasn't something anyone should ever have to get used to, though. It was only on occasion he let himself think about just how long he'd been out at the disaster site, about how every day had been bleeding into every night without pause and about how he'd just come to accept it. Work was only punctuated by the occasional meal or fitful bout of sleep, and for as much as his medication was helping to ease the worst of his symptoms, the sheer lack of real human contact and fucked up schedule was screwing with his head more than he'd thought it would. He missed his friends, missed his home, missed his life, but–

"We've got another acre to check out when you're done, then reconstruction after that. If all goes well, we can get another few quality shelters back up today."

"I'll... I'll be there." Izuku nodded, not bothering to force positivity at this point. But all he received in return was a clap on the shoulder, a wry, resigned look, and the silence of the desolate space in front of him.

I don't wanna see any more bodies today... I'm so tired, so please... just one day is all I want...

And as always, his recurring prayer was never heard.

The rest of the day went by as per usual, and it was all he could do to keep his head up, keep walking, and continue on like the machine he'd become so long ago. Yes, this was his job, but it wasn't his life.

But I sold it to work years ago, didn't I...? Everything... everything comes back to saving. Rescuing. Being the one to be strong for others, to smile when no one else can.

However, that night- July first- was harder than usual. Izuku only managed to hunker down in his barren room after the moon had long risen in the sky, nothing but memories of his friends and months-old texts to keep him company. There'd been a couple of messages that got through on rare occasions, but with how flaky everything was to begin with, he'd accepted the isolation until it was over. It was hard to associate the other members of the relief team with real companionship, though, and despite having tried his best to stay out and eat or converse with people outside of work, he usually found it more exhausting than anything else. Food was taken back to his room and eaten, the dish put aside before he collapsed onto his mediocre bed, not awake but never fully asleep, either.

The last step of his nightly routine involved pulling out his phone, scrolling through saved pictures, texts, and the occasional voicemail in an attempt to remind himself that his friends weren't that far away, that he'd be able to go home eventually. He hovered a little longer over Katsuki's near-smiling face in a rare selfie, then past a blurry shot of Ochako and Kirishima doing something weird in his kitchen, followed by one last picture of him and Katsuki on the beach after a training session, looking too much like a couple for two people who technically still weren't.

It's been so long... will he even want me when I come back? Has he moved once since we kissed?

He scrolled back further through their texts like he'd done a million times before, pretending he didn't know almost every one by heart already.

I just... I want to hold you again. It's not that I can't be alone, but I don't wanna be. I wanna see you, my friends, my mom, my plants...

Homesick. That was the word.

Sometimes, he let himself think about how Kirishima and Ochako had to be doing, and how Katsuki was doing in his internship with them. But for as much as Izuku was glad Katsuki was with two of the people he trusted above all else, he held a jealousy that couldn't be put down if he tried.