Beyond His World

22

SIMON.

I was lying on the couch when I got woken up by the sound of rustling and when I opened my eyes, I saw Drake getting out of his bed alone.

I immediately stood up and caught up with him, wrapping my arm around him for support.

"Wait, let me help you. Dapat ginising mo nalang ako, baka matumba ka pa or—"

"Let go of me."

"What?"

"I said let go of me, Simon!" Drake's voice raised, making me flinch beside him.

I didn't want to let him go since he really looks pale but the tone of his voice made me slowly back away from him.

It's like he doesn't even want me here.

I watched how Drake takes little steps, holding tight on his dextrose stand for support. But after three steps, he fell down.

"Drake!" I panicked when I heard him fall down with a thud, obviously hurting himself.

"Get away from me, Simon." His voice was hoarse and his head was down. He couldn't even look at me.

"No. Lets get you back to your—"

"Just get away from me!" He shouted at me once again. This time, he was looking at my eyes.

He was so weak... so tired... so sick...

And his eyes were pleading. At that moment, I tried reading his mind. I know I promised I won't do it to him anymore but I can't help it.

He looks so lost and helpless.

He thinks he's all worthless now that he's sick and could be dying. He doesn't want me to see him in this state and remember how weak he looks like for the rest of my life. He doesn't want me to even know how in pain he is because he only wants me to remember the good things about him.

My Drake. You have no idea how much I love you.

"Tell me what you need, Drake. I'll help you." I softly said while caressing his cheek.

Drake's expression softens after that as another tear falls out from his eye. I wipe it away before giving him a small smile, urging him to speak.

"B-bathroom." He simply says in a raspy voice and I nodded in reply, helping him stand.

"You can wait here. Kaya ko naman mag-isa sa loob."

"You  sure? Baka—"

"I  wont fall. Kaya ko." Drake assured me one last time and though I was hesitant to let him, I still trust that he can do this.

I waited outside and when Drake was done, I helped him get back to his bed again. Drake sits on the bed and I tuck him under the comforter but I didn't leave his side yet when I noticed he was staring at me.

I sat on the bed, beside him, looking back at his eyes.

"How did you know I am here?" Drake then asks.

"I followed your voice. You've been calling my name in your sleep every night."

He sighs, looking away from me.

"Hey..." I called, making him look back at me once again. I held his hand gently, rubbing my thumb against the back of his hand.

I looked intently at his eyes before saying, "You still look beautiful to me, Drake. Even with all these weaknesses, even when darkness starts embracing you within it, and even when even you think that you're not as special to me as before,... you will always, always be the most beautiful to me."

"And being sick like this won't make me love you less. It only makes me want to be with you more."

Drake looks down at our hands as more tears escape from his eyes.

"Its not just that, Simon." He starts. "I-I'm dying"

"Ayokong magpagamot because the radiation might make me lose my memory. And I don't ever want to forget about you. That's why I was asking you to just go back to where you came from. At least, if you're not here anymore, I don't have to live with the pain of seeing you but not being able to be with you. I can get medication when you leave. That way, hindi na kita hahanapin... kasi hindi na kita kilala."

I started crying as well upon hearing Drakes explanation. My eyebrows furrowed.

"Pero paano naman ako, Drake? You think I can just go back home and live normally without thinking about you? You think kaya kong kalimutan lang lahat-lahat ng pinagsamahan natin? It won't be easy for me as well but it will be harder for me to just watch you die."

"A lot of people love you, Drake. Please... 'wag mo namang itapon yung buhay mo for someone like me. I'm not even a part of this planet to begin with. If you forget about me, then so be it! Ang mahalaga, mabuhay ka!" I cant help it as well when I felt my emotions rising up.

"And I can't also let you lose all of the things you can do just to be able to stay with me, Sai." Drake says in between his sobs. "You shouldn't sacrifice your life for me."

"You shouldn't sacrifice your life for me either."

That's when it hit me.

The reason why it becomes too painful is because both of us are willing to sacrifice our lives for the other.

So, this is love.

It feels magical.

But also comes along with tons and tons of pain.

Drake closes his eyes, sighing. When he opens them, he looks at me once again.

He holds my hands this time.

"I realized I never got to say this to you yet in person so I'm saying this now." He says before leaning forward till our foreheads touched.

I closed my eyes when I felt his hand against my cheek.

"I love you, Simon. Beyond your world."

I pulled away a little so I can stare back at him. "I love you, too. Beyond your world."

And we shared a little kiss.

His lips were sort of trembling, and so were mine, but it didn't matter.

I closed my fist, turned it a little until time stops briefly, only allowing the two of us move. We kissed with our hearts' desire and when we stopped, time continued moving once again.

"Don't sacrifice this much for me, Simon. Kaya nakikiusap ako sa'yo.... umalis ka na..." Drake says with his eyes still closed.

His words pierced through my heart like daggers drenched in heat.

I can't.... but he wants me to.

"Please... promise me."

I sighed before putting his hand against my lips, placing a kiss on top of his knuckles.

Then, I nodded. "Okay. I'll leave."

"I'm waiting for this meteor shower which will happen five days from now. Will you at least let me spend my last five days on Earth with you?" I ask and Drake immediately nods, smiling at me.

"Okay. No problem. I'll also start medication five days from now."

My forehead creased at that. "What? No. Kailangan mo nang magpagamot as soon as possible. I already agreed to leave so please—"

"I don't want to start all that while you're still here. It will only make me weaker and I don't want you to see me in that state so I'll wait for you to leave, alright? I promise, magpapagaling ako."

"Drake naman..."

"I promise, Sai. Now, you promise me."

And I couldn't do anything but hold on to his promise. I held his hand tighter before lying beside him on the bed.

"I promise, Drake." I said and we spent the next few hours doing absolutely nothing but listen to each others little chit-chats about life.