The Wildness Within

Contained 2

'Yes,' Augus said, not looking away from that steady gaze, the trembling in his muscles.

'You thought I was going to hurt you.'

'No, I thought you were going to attack me,' Augus said, making the distinction. 'I was startled by an unexpected presence in my living space, and given the power of your family, I responded as though you were someone else.'

Gwyn nodded stiffly, and finally, finally looked to Augus' open palms with hunger in his eyes. His hands twitched by his sides.

'You know,' Gwyn said.

'Yes,' Augus nodded. 'I do.'

'Do you think I miss being tortured?' Gwyn said, his voice soft, his laughter even softer. There was something antagonistic in his gaze now. His eyebrows drew together, his lips thinned. 'Do you think that's it?'

'No,' Augus said. 'Not exactly.'

'Then- Then what- Then why do you-'

'Why don't you climb onto the other side of the bed, and slide your wrists into my palms, Gwyn? You'll find it easier to concentrate then, won't you?'

'Will I?' Gwyn said, and the words didn't sound like they were intended for Augus at all. 'Will I?'

Augus wondered if Gwyn had spent time in the forest practicing his voice, talking to himself when he had no one else to talk to. Was that how he'd preserved so much of his diction? His vocabulary? His gaze had gone distant, as though he was having a conversation with someone else far away.

'Gwyn,' Augus said, anchoring him back in the present.

'There's noise everywhere,' Gwyn said, as though he'd been asked a question, as though he was expected to account for himself. Augus wondered how much of it was Gwyn wanting to talk to him, and how much of it was Gwyn having been beaten into simply responding when a question was left hanging.

If Gwyn was Augus' client, he'd not wait patiently in this moment. He would lash out quickly, bind Gwyn's wrists in his hands tight enough that the worst of the noise would be silenced, and Gwyn wouldn't have to stand there agonising over what he wanted, he would simply be expected to take what Augus gave him. To realise that it was what he wanted too, that he didn't need to agonise over it in the first place. But Gwyn wasn't Augus' client, was something quite different, so Augus waited, even though he wished he could make the anguish of indecision easier for him to bear.

Eventually, Gwyn slowly walked around to the other side of the bed. It put him further away from the door, from his easy escape, and he looked more frequently at the door now. Even so, he eventually put his palms flat on the bed and crawled onto it. He came closer, until his knees almost touched the side of Augus' hips.

Augus stopped counting the seconds and minutes, he wasn't sure how much time had elapsed when Gwyn – reminding him more and more of a wild forest creature – finally slid his wrists into Augus' hands. The angle was clumsy, Gwyn had to hold himself a little upright to manage it, and it wasn't a pose that would lead to any sort of relaxation. Even so, once his wrists were in Augus' hands, they trembled, but they weren't withdrawn.

Augus' fingers closed slowly, giving Gwyn plenty of time to change his mind. Soon he was wrapping fingers around skin, harder and harder, and right when he knew Gwyn had moved from discomfort into pain, Gwyn's hands twitched and his eyes closed, his mouth parted. He shuddered bodily, and then his shoulders slumped. Augus watched closely as he risked a tighter pressure than even before, one that would hurt enough that he'd have some of his clients pleading for him to stop. He felt Gwyn's bones shift beneath his fingers.