The Wildness Within

This Gentle Love 1

The rest of the week passed so peacefully that Augus felt as though he'd entered into a dream world where nothing made sense. Gwyn stayed silent but was content. He read. He worked on his lettering. He ate easily and frequently and even cleared a space on the table that had once served as a cluttered shelf. It turned out that when he had a knife and a fork in his hands, he had impeccable Court manners, and Augus had watched in fascination as Gwyn had used all the cutlery precisely and chewed like he wasn't starving.

He expected Gwyn to be more stressed about the headspace he'd eventually found during their scene together, but Gwyn remained calm. He didn't even ask for the cuffs.

It couldn't be this simple, could it? He'd just lost his cousin. Augus had braced himself to deal with more. But Gwyn seemed satisfied to dwell in whatever place the event had left him in. Occasionally, Augus caught Gwyn gazing at him in wonder – and that wasn't entirely comfortable either. Yes, Augus had felt a little smug at setting up a punishment scene that had achieved his aims, but it wasn't supposed to go like this.

So well.

It wasn't supposed to feel like peace and quiet even though he knew very well that someone else was sharing his space. It wasn't supposed to feel comfortable. He was meant to be missing his clients, the emptiness of his home, not thinking back to how beautiful Gwyn had looked blindfolded and gagged and bound, chest shuddering with fear and Augus drinking it all up. Even though the waiting had been nearly impossible – uncertain when Gwyn would break under the pressure of it, knowing he couldn't leave him restrained for too long, but couldn't disappear for too short a time either.

When Ash returned at the end of his hunt, it was clear he felt the same way. He drew Augus aside, both of them walking around the outside of Augus' home underneath the green barrier that kept his walls and roof dry.

'So you haven't done it yet?' Ash said, frowning. 'Cuz I kind of thought-'

'It's done,' Augus said, hoping his voice didn't sound as surprised as he felt. He knew what he was doing, the outcome wasn't that shocking, was it? 'It worked perfectly. He's settled and calm, not holding himself back from eating or affection. You can see for yourself.'

'Well fuck,' Ash said, and then laughed. 'I don't really get the mindset you know. The...that would be- That's bondage and discipline, right?'

'What?' Augus said, looking over at him.

'In the human world, there's like...dominance and submission, and then bondage and discipline, and then sadomasochism. They all make up the like- the BDSM term I've used around you before.'

'I'm not sure it needs to be quite so complicated,' Augus said, frowning. 'That being said, I didn't expect him to be so suited to the things I desire. I'm not sure what it means, Ash.'

'It's good, right?' Ash said. They stopped by the barrier and Ash trailed his fingers through the glowing green bubble, getting his hand wet before pulling it back and shaking droplets onto dry ground. An eel swooped past them, casting its shadow on them both, no doubt having thought Ash's fingers were fish.

'You don't understand,' Augus said. 'He likes pain, he...responds to things the way I'd hoped he would but hadn't- Until I saw it happen, I thought- I thought I was manufacturing something that couldn't be true.'

'Why?' Ash said. 'Dude, when I got back in, he let me hug him. He leaned his head on my shoulder. He pointed at all the writing he'd done like a little kid that wanted someone to be proud of him. It was a relief, man, when I left- I didn't know what I'd be coming back to. And you're telling me this 'punishment' worked or whatever, then...and you're telling me it was good for you too- Are you really so afraid of something going well in your life? I don't understand why, Augus, you were happy before you met him. You know that things can be great for you.'