Through the eyes of you - a Heartstopper fanfic

Engagement Dinner

Charlie's POV:

I roll over checking my phone. It's 8am the next morning. Nick is sleeping peacefully. My phone dings and I sigh as Ben's name pops up. I look back over at Nick already regretting my decision is fake marry Ben.
B: hey not to pressure you but my dad wants to take us out to dinner with my family to celebrate. Have you decided?

I run my hands through my hair and the image of his dad deteriorating haunts me.
C:when and where?
Is all I respond. Nick stirs and I softly get up off the bed. "Where are you going?" He mumbles rubbing the crust out of his eyes. "I'm gonna go home and study. I smile up at him a ping of guilt hits me. "I Uh have to go to dinner with Ben's family tonight." I blurt out closing my eyes. "Ah the other man." He chuckles lightly. I let out a sigh of relief. "Aren't you technically the other man?" I joke back. "Oui!" He throws a pillow at me. I walk over and place a kiss on his forehead. "I'm gonna head out, I love you." "I love you too."my heart leaps at the words. I walk out the front door and question what I'm doing. Is Nick really going to be cool with this?

I step out of the shower and run the towel over my head. I hear a knock on the door, it must be Ben. I text him to come in knowing he still has a key. A few moments later there's a knock on the bathroom door. He peaks his head in and blushes "hey uh the reservations at 7:00 are you almost ready?" Realizing I don't have a shirt on I turn away shyly. "Uh yeah be down in a sec." He closes and door and I can hear him sigh as he walks away. This is going to be the first time he's going to be out publicly, I can only imagine what's going through his head.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Ben looks over at me, hope filling his eyes. I nod my head in agreement still not 100% sure I'm making the right decision. "Are you sure you want to do this?" I look over at him. He sighs in response, clearly he's also unsure of this whole situation. He gets out of the car walking to my side and opens the door. I get out straightening my jacket. We walk in and Ben grabs my hand. He leans over whispering "hope your ready to put on a show." He smiles dearly and I can tell he's enjoying this. There's a small part of me that wishes this was real, that I was really marrying Ben. I love Nick and I know in my gut he's the right one, but when you spend years loving someone, dreaming of marrying them, do the feelings ever fully go away? I feel guilty at the thought and push the feelings down. Remember Nick, I tell myself.

"Charlie!" His dad reaches his hand out shaking mine. "I'd like you all to meet my sons Fiancé" he smiles over at my his family. "I couldn't be prouder of my son for finding such a nice young man." He beams. Ben rolls his eyes pulling me over to sit down. "So, Charlie, how long have you and Ben been seeing each other?" His grandma smiles sweetly. "Oh Uh about 3ish years now?" I look over at Ben unsure of how much he wants to tell people. "We met freshman year of high school, but I didn't come to terms with being Gay until our junior year. I wish I would have known sooner so that we could have been together all of high school." He gives my hand a squeeze. I can't help but feel proud of him. This is the first time he has willingly come out. Maybe he has changed... my mind drifts as I look over the menu. The waitress appears to take our order. Ben orders a ribeye with garlic mashed potatoes. I wrinkle my nose at how I used to hate when he ate garlic. He would always blow in my face to tease me about it. "And for you sir?" The waitress pulls me from the far off memory. "Oh Uh, I'll just have the chicken kabob salad." She raises her eyes brows but nods her head, writing it down. I shift in my seat suddenly very uncomfortable. "Are you going to be okay to eat?" Ben leans over whispering? It's been over a year since I've had trouble eating. Once we moved in together, Ben started removing all the labels on the food and started cooking more so that I didn't have to worry about it. Since he moved out I've been struggling to eat again. I haven't talked to Nick as I don't want to add more to his plate. "Uh, I'm struggling again" I answer truthfully. We may not be together anymore but I can still trust him with this. "Mmm, how about we share the salad instead?" He smiles looking up at me with love in his eyes, griping my hand in support. I nod my head slowly in agreement. "So" his dad interrupts. "Have you started looking at any venues?" Panicking I start to stutter. "Oh Uh we just haven't.." Ben takes over saving me "we just have been enjoying being engaged. We are planning to start looking tomorrow." His dad nods appeased and the whole table swoons. Ben has always had a way of smooth talking when he needs to. "Way to save the day" I whisper. "I'll always save you." He whispers back. I sit there shocked and he winks at me. The waitress puts down the food but I sit there stunned unsure what to say next. There's a battle inside of me. On one hand this is everything I've ever wanted with Ben. On the other hand I have an amazing boyfriend waiting at home that has always treated me right. Butterflies take over my stomach but I question who they are for this time.