Through the eyes of you - a Heartstopper fanfic

First day back

Nicks Pov:

I wrap my hands in his hair. "Charlie" I moan as he leaves a trail of kisses down my neck. "Do you like that?" He asks smirking. I nod my head allowing him to do whatever. I could get used to this.

I blink my eyes as the harsh light wakes me up. I reach over and shut off my alarm. That's the third dream this week. He haunts me at all hours. It's been 6 weeks since he left me. I still haven't spoken. Nor have I gotten out of bed... I roll back over. "Hey Hon" my mom peaks her head in the door. "It's the first day of the semester, I just wanted to see if you were going.." she trails off. I shake my head and push the covers off. I walk into the bathroom and slam the door. I look in the mirror and I don't recognize myself. My hairs a mess and the stubble has started to grow into a beard. I turn the water on and blast music to try to drown out the thoughts of him.

Charlie's pov:

"Hey Charlie, are you ready for the first day back?" Ben calls out from the shower. "Yeah, I just hope this humanities class won't be too hard. I head this professor can be an ass." I shove the toothbrush back in my mouth. "I'm sure he will love you as much as I do." He wraps his arms around me. I close my eyes in bliss. For a split second I picture Nick wrapping his arms around me and I shake the thought away. "Tristan wants to take us out for dinner tonight. The weddings so close and I'm thinking of asking him to be my best man." I nod my head and kiss his cheek. "Just text me the details and I'll make sure I'm home in time." I head downstairs and grab my backpack. I lock the front door behind me and stop dead in my tracks. The last time Ben was here and I was heading to school was the day he kicked me out. The day that everything changed. "Charlie come on, we're gonna be late." Elle shouts from the car. I jump in the back seat. "Are you sure your ready for this?" She hesitates. "We won't even have any classes together." I shrug my shoulders. Pushing down the nervous feeling.

Later that day:

"Why does this professor hate me" I groan and hang my head. "He doesn't hate you specifically. He just hates everyone" Tao laughs. "How am I supposed to write an essay by tomorrow?" I toss my pencil frustrated. "I guess we will be here all night." He sighs. "I'll text Elle." Tao pulls out his phone. Shit. I pull out my phone and see a missed call and a text from Ben. I walk out the library to call him back. "Hey babe, I'm sorry. I have to write this stupid essay and I got distracted." "It's okay love. Can you still make dinner?" "Uh" I pace back and forth. "I really want to make a good impression and I just think I need to work on the essay more." "That's okay love, I'll tell Tristan we have to cancel." "No no don't do that. Just go to dinner anyway and ask him to be your best man." "Ummm okay" he hesitates. "I love you." "I love you too"

I walk back up the stairs of the library. "I didn't say that" rings through my ears as I pass by our table. I push the thought out. "Okay let's hammer this out" I pick up my pencil. A few moments pass and I throw my pencil again. "How am I supposed to write about the effect of devastation on mankind. We haven't learned anything about mankind yet." I groan. "I think we are supposed to look at how it's affected us and then generalize it." Tao looks up and hands my pencil back over. I nod my head.

I try to write another sentence but I start to feel suffocated. My breath quickens and my heart races. "Charlie, stop" Tao grabs the pencil and slams it down. I look up confused snapping out of my thoughts. "You were tapping the pencil on the table kind of roughly." I nod my head slowly. "I didn't even notice." "Are you sure your okay? We can just go home." He smiles trying to reassure me. "I'm fine" I smile back but it quickly drops. "Are you really going to marry Ben?" He whispers. "Yeah, I mean I've been with him since high school. Why not?" I wave my hand dismissing his question. "Charlie, you stopped talking for 2 weeks." I freeze in place. Don't do it don't say it. "What about Nick?" My heart shatters. "It's over." "I thought you two would be the ones getting married if I'm honest." Tao sits back in his seat studying me. "We were only together a few months." I sigh leaning back. "I know, but love like that doesn't come along for everyone." I roll my eyes. "I just don't get it." He shakes his head. "You don't have too." I huff. "Okay, okay. I'll drop it." He puts his hands up in defense. "Thank you" I mumble. "Let's just finish this essay."

Elle's Pov: late that night.

Charlie slams the door as he gets out of the car. "What did you say to him?" I turn to Tao. "I just asked if he was really marrying Ben." I nod my head slowly. "Darcy texted me. Nick hasn't talked since that night. Do you think we should go check on him?" I whisper as if Charlie was still in the car. "No. I don't think he wants to see us right now." "Do you think he will really marry Ben?" I look over. "Yeah, I think so" he sighs.

Nicks Pov:

I lay in bed looking at pictures of him all day. I miss him more than anything. I throw my phone across the room and start to cry. I can't live like this. I don't want to live like this. My phone dings in the corner but I ignore it. It's not who I want to to be anyway.