Through the eyes of you - a Heartstopper fanfic

Christmas Eve

Charlie's pov:

"I.. I don't know what I want." I mutter and the heat rises in nicks face. "I think we both know what you want. Your just too scared he's going to hurt you again. What's your plan? string me along until you decide to marry him for real?" "I.. I.." I stutter and chew at my nails. This is the last thing I wanted. I just wanted time to figure it out. "Just get out." He whimpers. I turn to grab my bag and walk out the door. I stand there for a few moments not knowing what to do. I could call Tori but she doesn't even know that I'm fake marrying Ben. I pull out my phone and with tears in my eyes I dial Ben's number. "Hey honey happy Christmas Eve or is it merry Christmas Eve?" He chuckles through the phone. He must be next to his parents if he's calling me honey. "Can I still come for Christmas?" I whisper hoping Nick isn't listening on the other side of the door. "Of course. I'll come pick you up." A few moments of silent goes by. "Is everything okay?" He whispers. "Yeah, Nick had to go home suddenly" I lie. "Okay see you in an hour." I walk to the nearest coffee shop and wait for Ben to pick me up.

An hour later: 8:00pm

I slide into Ben car and turn to hide my face. He grabs my hand and looks at me softly. "Are you sure your okay?" He whispers. "Of course" I push the guilty feeling down. Not only did Nick throw me out but I turned to the one person I shouldn't have. "Let's go" he gives my hand a squeeze and off we go. "Grandma is so excited to see you again and dad said we can sleep in the same room." His face lights up while mine turns red. "Not like that" he chuckles. "Your with Nick and we are just friends getting to know each other again. It's just cool to see my dad accepting me. Accepting us. Well.. fake us" he chuckles. I can't help but smile. He genuinely looks so happy and I can't remember the last time I seen that smile since before his dad found out we were together. Maybe he really is changing after all. I mean what do I know.

We finally reach his parent house and he gets out of the car and grabs my bags. "Wait!" I stop him from walking through the door. I pull out my ring and slip it on. "We're engaged remember" I chuckle. He looks down at his ring and gives it a little twist on his finger. "Yeah, we are huh" he winks. I look down at his ring again. It's worn. I don't think he been taking his off. My heart warms at the idea of him wanting to show off our engagement. Fake engagement, I have to remind myself.

"Mom, dad, Charlie's here!" He yells through the house. His mom comes out of the kitchen wearing reindeer ears and has flour on her nose. "Your dad and I were just baking cookies for Santa." She chuckles. His dad come around the corner. He looks frail and has lost weight. I turn to look at Ben and I can see the sadness in his eyes. His dad is a shitty person, but it's his dad. "Come on, let's go help them yeah?" I give Ben a nudge and he rolls his eyes. I know he's trying to play it cool but this his dad having cancer thing is really affecting him. "We will go put the stuff in my room and then come down okay?" "Okay, don't forget your reindeer ears too!" His mom yells from below. I open the door to Bens room and two sets of ears lay on the bed. "How did she know to get me a pair?" Ben puts the stuff down on the bed and looks down. "I was kinda hoping you would come and I didn't know how to tell my dad you weren't." I sit down next to him and give him a little nudge. "It's okay Ben." He gives me a sly smile and starts to get up. "Wait" I tug on his shirt forcing him to sit back down. "Are you doing okay? I mean with you dad.." I trail off. "Can we talk about this later?" He turns away but I see him wipe his eyes. "My moms waiting" he clears his throat. I nod my head and put the ears on and he cracks a smile.

We walk down the stairs and head into the kitchen. "There's the love birds" his mom chuckles. "Oh look how cute we all are. Let's take a picture!" She grins. "I'll take it." His dad pulls out his phone. "Actually dad, I think you should be in the picture." Ben voice breaks and he nudges me. "Definitely, let's use the timer setting" I suggest. His dad rolls his eyes but he complies anyway. We finish making the cookies and his mom plates them and pours a glass of milk to set out. "Mommmm" Ben rolls his eyes. "You better get to bed you two, it's almost midnight and you don't want to end up on Santa's naughty list right before Christmas." She winks at us. Ben rolls his eyes again but agrees. "Let's go" he nudges me. "Goodnight son and soon to be son." His dad says softly. "Night dad" he whispers back.

Ben pulls out a set of pjs and hands them to me. "Matching ones" he chuckles. "The whole family has to match tomorrow or mom will throw a fit." I shake my head and giggle. It's cute to see this side of Ben. He wants to act like he doesn't care but deep down he like it. He slides into bed and I stand there awkwardly. "I can sleep on the floor if you want." He sits up. "No, no it's okay. We can lay next to each other without it being sexual." I gulp. "Charlie I told you I wouldn't make a move while your with Nick." He chuckles and holds the blanket up. "You have nothing to worry about." I slide into bed next to him. All I can think is that he has never been more wrong. I have everything to worry about.