Through the eyes of you - a Heartstopper fanfic

The void

Ben'sPov:

"Soo.." Tristan trails off. His hands grip the steering wheel. "Your fiancé has a boyfriend?" He chuckles a little. Clearly finding the situation amusing. I sigh and drop my head in my hands. "He had a boyfriend" I clarify.

A few moments later of explaining later:

"So Charlie cheated on your with Nick and then your dad gets cancer, you guys agree to have a fake wedding, Charlie fell back in love with you, broke up with Nick and now your getting married for real." He shakes his head is disbelief. "Look it's a lot, but yeah that about sums it up." I groan. "So your not worried he will cheat again?" He hesitates. The tone of his voice has shifted. I sit up straight in my seat. "Charlie wouldn't do that." "He already has" silence falls over the car. "I know." I mumble pushing the doubt to the side. "You know I wish you would have told me you were gay sooner." He smiles. "Why's that?" I tilt my head to the side. "I would have fake married you." He winks. My heart skips a beat and instantly I feel guilty. No other guy should make my heart race, it's disrespectful to Charlie. "That probably would have saved me some drama." I joke back.

Nicks Pov:

I walk in the door behind him. "Char" I call out. He has it back turned to me "Wait, can we at least sit down first. I'm exhausted" he crashes down on the couch and I sit down next to him. "Char" i say again this time grabbing his hand. I look down and hold his hand and I notice the ring on his finger. My heart breaks into a million pieces. "You've already married him, it's too late" my voice breaks. "It's just an engagement ring" He chokes out. "So that's it? Your marrying him?" My face turns red as anger corses through my veins. "Nick it's not that I don't love you." He starts "you were the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. But you pushed and you pushed and I was forced to make a decision." "Clearly" I interrupt not wanting to hear this. "Nick listen to me. This is really hard for me but you need to hear it." He places his hand on my knee and squeezes. My heart softens and I nod my head letting him continue. "I love you Nick and I didn't want it to end like this. I've been having mixed feelings for a while I'll admit but I wasn't ready to make a decision yet. At the cabin, you kept pushing and you forced me to choose and as much as I love you, I've only know you a few months. I've been with Ben since I was a teenager. I couldn't ignore the history Nick. I dreamt for years for this moment. I had to give it a shot. I'm not blaming you, but you have to understand me." Tears stream down his cheeks and I reach up to wipe them away but quickly pull my hand back. "I shouldn't have forced you to make a decision." I wipe my tears away. "Would it have made a difference...? if I wouldn't have pushed?" I look up hope lingering in my chest. "No... I don't think it would have" he answers breaking everything left in me. "Okay Charlie, you've made your decision. I get it." I nod my head in disbelief "Whens the wedding?" "Next month" he waves his hand like it's no big deal. I sit there for a minute staring blankly. "I'm gonna go." I get up walking towards the door. I feel the house key in my pocket. "Here" I place the key on the table, leaving my heart with it and walk out the door.

I start walking towards my house and I feel numb. Everything I am, everything I ever wanted to be, I left in that house. Tears stream down my face and I feel my chest tighten. He's right, I shouldn't have pushed. I knew he was torn and I just made it worse. Of course he picked Ben. We were only together a few months. I grab my chest falling to my knees. I can't breathe and the world is spinning around me. "Char" I cry out. "Nick!" Darcy runs out the door. "Where have you been? What happened?" She drops to her knees. "Charlie, he.. we.." I can't get the words out. I feel like I'm dying. "I'm going to kill that little." Anger pours through her words. "Don't" I catch my breath. Even after everything, I'm still protecting him. "I shouldn't have went after him, he was taken and I knew that." My heart breaks again. "Nick." She cries, tears now streaming down her face. "I have to let him go Darcy, he's made his decision and it's not me." Reality hits me and I feel drained, void of all emotion. I pick myself up as if something has snapped. The tears stop, the anger stops. It all just stops. I walk in the house and slam my bedroom door. I turn off all the lights and crawl into bed. I don't even have the energy to look at my phone. I lay on my back staring at the ceiling. The numbness consumes me. It's at this point that I know. I'll never been the same again.

"Nick come on, it's been hours. Don't you want to eat dinner?" She cracks the door. Light shines in and I turn on my side facing away from the door. I say nothing just hoping she will go away. "Okay, I get it. I'll go" she closes the door softly and I hear her call Elle. "Have you talked to Charlie?" She whispers, but loud enough I could hear. "I'm with him now. He's not speaking." She sighs. Darcy must have put her on speaker. "Nicks not speaking either." I turn back onto my back. I'm not sure I'll ever talk again.