Through the eyes of you - a Heartstopper fanfic

Blueberry Pancakes

Charlie's POV:

I walk into Nicks house and head straight to his room. He gave me a key when I left this morning in case I needed him tonight. I open the door slowly. It's 11pm and I'm not sure if he's asleep or not. He's laying on his side but doesn't stir. He's sleeping peacefully. I take off my shirt throwing it to the side and slide into bed next to him. He wraps his arms around my waist. "Hi baby" he chuckles. "Hi love" I whisper back. "How did the dinner go?" He asks sleepily. I say nothing just snuggling against him. He lets out a sigh but let's it's go. A few moments later I feel his breathing deepen indicating he's asleep. I lay there thinking about the events of the night. I feel guilty even being here. I'm engaged to one person, fakely, I remind myself and laying next to a totally different person. I feel like such a fraud. I lay tossing and turning until I finally fall asleep.

"Good morning my love" My eyes flutter softy at the sound. Nick is smiling down at me rubbing his hand across my back. "Morning" my voice come out hoarse. "are you okay?" panic strikes across his face. I sit up in bed holding my head. It's pounding and my throat is sore. "I think I'm sick" I cough. Nick runs out of the room. Great, I scared him away. I throw my head back against my pillow groaning. Moments later I hear the door squeak open and I sit up at the noise, ready to gather my things and leave. "Here" he holds a glass out. "it's emergen-c, it will help at least give you some much needed nutrients." I shutter at the comment. Has Nick noticed my eating problem? I shake my head at the thought and take the glass. "thank you baby". I take a sip and Nick lays his head on my shoulder. "do you want me to leave? you could get sick..." I trail off. "and miss the chance to maybe beat you in Mario kart? No Way" he lightly shoves me. "oh I see how it is. Take advantage of the sick kid." I roll my eyes and drink the rest of the gross liquid. Nick takes the glass and sets it to the side. "do you think you can choke down pancakes?" he looks at me with doe eyes and I'm taken back to the first time I got sick when Ben and I lived together.

Flashback:

Charlie's POV:

"Mom I don't know what to do, he won't eat anything sugary and the only thing I have is pancakes." Ben paces around the room. Tears are steaming down my face. I'm sick and still refusing to eat. I know I'm stressing him out but I just can't help it. "okay, okay I'll try that." He hangs up the phone and walks over to me. He rubs his hand across my cheek wiping my tears. "it's okay baby, it's not your fault." a small smile slips through. "I'm going to mash up some blueberries Into the pancakes. It will be at least somewhat healthy. Does that help?" his eyes fill with hope. I sit here thinking it over. "Will you eat them with me? Maybe we can share a giant pancake?" My eyes light up. "of course honey, just stay here and put a movie on yeah?" he sighs in relief. "okay" I smile.

Present day:

Charlie's POV:

That day was the day Ben started taking off the labels and sharing food with me. "Honey?" Nick snaps me back to reality. "Do you want pancakes?" he looks concerned. "ugh can you mash up blueberries and add them in?" I ask shyly. He tilts his head to the side "Mash them?" "yeah, it makes it easier to swallow and they are somewhat healthy." I mumble. "oh uh yeah I guess that makes sense." Nick heads out the door and my phone rings. "Hey Bab.. Charlie" its Ben. "Hey Ben" I strain. "are you okay?" his voice cracks. "Just a sore throat and a headache." I cough into the phone. "and a cough..." he trails off. "what's up?" I ask changing the subject. My dad wanted to take us to try on tuxes today while my grandmas in town, but I think that's out of the question.." his voice falls. "yeah.. I'm sorry" I cough again. "shit happens" he sighs. "hey..." he trails off. "Yeah?" I probe knowing that tone of voice. "this is probably out of line but do you want me to come make you our special pancakes?" He hesitates and my heart breaks. "oh um..." I trail off. "never mind you probably don't even remember" he sounds pained. "no its not... Nick he's.. He's already making them" I hesitate unsure of what I'm feeling. "Oh" is all he says. The door creaks open and Nick walks in holding a large stack. "I gotta go, I'll talk to you later." I start to hit end call. "Wait" he yelps. I raise the phone back to my ear. "Don't forget to watch Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory" I smile and look down to quickly hide it. I hang up the phone not answering back. "who was that?" Nick looks over handing me a plate. "oh Ben just wanted to go tux shopping" I lie, well half lie. "oh" is all he says sitting down next to me. "do you wanna watch like TV or something. "Can we watch willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory?" I perk up. "uh the old one?" Nick flips through the movies. "yeah" I answer and guilt washes over me. He presses play and shoves a pancake in his mouth. I look down at the little pancakes on my plate and feel sad. Is it bad that I wish Ben was here right now? It would be so much easier to eat. I shake my head at the thought and those damn butterflies return. Am I falling for Ben again? The thought lingers in my mind. I look over at Nick. Maybe I was never over him to begin with...