Through the eyes of you - a Heartstopper fanfic

Christmas Day

Charlie's pov:

I wake to feel an arm wrapped around my waist. For a split second I think it's Nick and yesterday was all just a bad dream. I roll over and Ben is sleeping peacefully. Instinctively, I reach my hand up and brush the long piece of hair out of his eyes. He shifts a little pulling me even closer to him. Our noses touch and my breath hitches. I lay there still as can be scared that any more movement will wake him up. He starts breathing heavy all of the sudden and keeps muttering "no don't go, don't leave me!" His eyes are still closed and I realize he must be dreaming. "Hey baby, wake up" I give him a little shake. His eyes fitter open and I can see the panic. He wraps his arms around me pulling me tightly against him. "Ssshhh it's okay" I rub his back. "The nightmares are back" he whispers. My heart breaks. He hasn't had nightmares since shortly after we moved in together. "When did they come back?" I ask already knowing the answer. "When you left." He looks me in the eyes and my broken heart breaks into a million more pieces. "They aren't what they used to be." He mumbles. "I keep dreaming of my dad dying." He sits up and turns to the side. "I see a tear slide down his cheek but he doesn't want me to see it. "It's okay." I lay my head on his shoulder. He lays his head on mine and we just sit there comfortably for a few moments.

"Merry Christmas" he turns to face me. "Merry Christmas" I look up at him. His eyes sparkle as the sadness fades away. I look down at his lips and all I can think about is pressing mine against his. "Falling for me honey?" He chuckles and gets up off the bed. "I.. I.." I stutter shocked at the advance. "Let's go open presents" he beams quickly changing the subject. "I'll meet you downstairs." I shoot him over a smile. "Okay babe" he winks at me and softly closes the door behind him. I look down at ring on my finger and twist it a few times. Nick and I are over and I need to find a good time to tell him. I want to be with him. I want to make this work. A tear slips down my cheek. I don't know if I ever stopped loving Ben. I love Nick too and it's also so confusing, but Ben and I have history. We just make sense. I push myself up off of the bed and walk over to the door. I leave my phone behind. I won't need it.

"Merry Christmas!" His family shouts as I walk into the living room. Ben wasn't kidding, his whole family including his grandma is in matching pjs. "Welcome to the family son" his dad chuckles "wearing matching pjs solidifies the deal." He let's out another laugh. I look over at Ben and he's smiling at me. It's good to see him happy, to see him getting along with him family.I look around for a place to sit. "Come here baby!" Ben shouts over the noise and my heart skips a beat and his words. My cheeks turn red and I walk over shyly. "There's no where to sit" I mumble. He grabs my hand and pulls me down onto his lap. I lock eyes with him and everything stops. My head is spinning and my heat is racing at the affection. He reaches his hand up pushing the hair out of my eyes. "You can sit on me" he winks and wraps his arms around my waist making my body close against his. I hear a clicking sound and turn to see his mom snapping a picture. "Now give him a little kiss Benny Boo" he looks up and me eyes wide and I give him a little nod letting him know it's okay. He nervously presses his lips on my cheek and quickly pulls away. "Oh come on Benny, show your fiancé some love?" His mom laughs and everyone follows. My heart is pounding out of my chest. Growing impatient, I lean in closer. "It's okay really" I whisper. He closes his eyes and presses his lips against mine. Every emotion floods my body as I move my lips against his. We forget the kiss is for the picture and I move my hand cupping his cheek. "Get a room you too" his dad laughs and we snap out of it breaking the kiss. Everyone around us is laughing but all we can do it stare at each other. Finally his mom breaks the tension. "Let's open presents!" She claps her hands together and we break eye contact. I shift in his lap to face the rest of the family. "Ow. Baby, careful" he whispers in my ear giggling. I look back at him confused. He puts his hands on my waist and grips them shifting me over an inch and I can feel it pressing against me. "Just from kissing?" I look back at him shocked. "Just don't get off my lap for a few minutes. These pjs won't hide anything." He smiles back at me, his cheeks a little red. "Okay" I giggle. I turn back to look at his family and somehow I feel content knowing that he still has this reaction to me. Our minds may make things complicated but our body's clearly know what they want.

I look around at all the presents everyone has opened. We got a couple of glasses to use at the wedding and some gift cards. He dad stands up but stumbles a little. Ben mom stands up to help balance him. He bends down pulling the last small box out from under the tree. "Here" he reaches out. "It's for both of you." Ben takes the box and hand its to me. I look up and him and he nods for me to open it. I unwrap it to show two small ring boxes. "They were your mom and I's original wedding bands." He coughs. I hand one to Ben and open the box to a gold wedding band with a small diamond in the center. "I want you to have them." A tear slips out of his dads eye. I look at Ben to see him already trying it on. I take mine out admiring it. I slowly slip it on my finger. "It's a perfect fit" I look up. "That perfect! I guess it really is meant to be." His dad smiles. I look over at Ben "yeah I guess it is".