Vlog #192 | opening up

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Scarlett pov

I'm just doing this trend in the office where you record almost all your whole day in time lapse when y/n suddenly came filling me w/ confusion

"red?" she took a deep breath looking nervous

"hmm? what happened?" i indie went to her cupping her face worried

"can we uhm... talk privately?" she asked glaring at the stuffs that were all looking at us

"yeah, sure" i smiled at her holding her hand to pull her inside my office locking the door

"what's bothering you?" i asked

"how does Google know my name??"

"y/n" i sigh covering my face

"ok, I'm just kidding" she forced a chuckle sitting down on table as i followed, standing in front of her in between her thighs

"now.. tell me seriously, what's bothering my handsome wife" i scoff expecting her laugh but she didn't even reacted

"well, i was uhm... trying to focus on a meeting earlier and lots of thoughts came on my mind because of the last video we posted" she started looking really nervous

"and those are?"

"uhmm.. people thinks I'm getting too far up your ass. i mean don't get me wrong i love your ass so much my love" she stayed making me chuckle on how she panicked clearing her self

"c'mon, I'm still working be serious" i giggled as she wrapped her hands around me hugging my waist

"they said, you're.. manipulating me" she mumbled sounding disappointed making me actually drop my smile

"do..you..think that's true? do you feel that way?" i asked hesitantly

"no"

"I'm glad" i sigh kissing her forehead

"i feel like I'm manipulating myself" she added..her voice cracking obviously holding her self

"I'm so scared to lose you that whenever we fight i always tell my self to do the first move because I'm scared that if i didn't...you'll never do it and that would be the reason why you'll leave me..im scared to lose you and so I'm loosing my self... everytime" she sniffs hugging me tightly

"I'm so afraid to keep a fight unsettled between us because i just don't want to give you a reason to leave me...a thing you can actually do anytime you want" she added quietly

"hey...look at me" i breathe out pushing her off of me lightly before cupping her face wiping her tears

"fights are normal and i really appreciate all your efforts..you know I'll never leave you, Right? I'm the luckiest person because i have you.. everyone knows that and..im glad youre telling these to me" i stated also trying to hold my self now

her eyes are full of pity for her self and i just don't get how people can say things like that when they obvious only see our lives when a camera is pointed at us

I'm just staring at her eyes before feeling tears running down my cheeks. i just suddenly remember the time she told me about how she needs to beg for attention as a kid and now i feel like I'm putting her on the same spot again

"heyy, why are you crying?? this is my moment" she pouted making me chuckle

"i love you y/n y/l/n" i giggled pulling her in a hug letting her bury her face on my chest

"I can't hear your heart, u ded?" she suddenly mumbled

"what do u think?"

"i meaaaan..yeah"

"sure"

we were then interrupted by her phone. it was her damn new assistant again

"why does she needs to always be in our moments?" i huff

"hmmm?"

"everytime we're settling something, she's always interfering"

"i would fire her if u want but she's a great assistant and she's almost as great as maggie"

"almost..so why not get rid of her?" i asked before she looked at me frowning her brows gasping dramatically

"what?" i chuckled at her reaction

"you want me to commit murder??" she asked whispering making me chuckle as i actually saw rose for a sec on her Expression

"nooo, i mean fire her"

"after 26 assistants i finally have someone who can keep up with me"

"fine" i huff

"hold on" she struggled getting off of me just to sit on my chair before tapping her thighs signalling me to sit on her lap

"why are u so mad at her?" she asked resting her chin on my shoulder

"well...i mean she's young, pretty...have a perfect body, hot and--"

"and you're my wife" she cut me off holding my hand making me smile

"hmm..can i ask something?" i mumbled

"sure"

"what did you see in me?"

"in you? i mean I've seen u got ripped open when you're giving birth so i saw some flesh and some--"

"STOPP, NOT IN LITERAL SENSE" i laughed out loud shifting on my position getting comfortable on her lap

"ok, seriously tho" i cleared my throat

"i actually don't know. i just love you, I don't need to see anything" she sigh

"you could have left me..years ago"

"why would i wanna do that?"

"I've given you so much trauma in the past..and now it feels like you're loosing yourself because of how much you want this relationship to work"

"and that's fine"

"you know it's not" i clicked my tongue trying to get off of her but she held me tightly

"it is..you know the day I've seen you...even when i was no one and just a fan..i knew that if i had a chance to love you, i will treat you right..give you the love you deserve.. because.. watching u from afar is heartbreaking coz it always felt like you're settling for less everytime"

"what do you mean less?"

"lets be honest, your taste in men sucks" she shrugged making me roll my eyes but can't help my smile

"but that's ok because your taste in women is so fucking good...i mean look at you ending up with me" she winked earning my giggles

i went on removing her hold just to switch my position and straddle her instead

"you're the only right decision i made" i looked directly at her eyes and... I've seen everything..i realized..she's my everything

"i know sometimes..not even sometimes, like most of the time you feel like I'm getting too far up my work that i don't have that much time for you.. but i also just want to let you know that coming home to you is literally what I'm looking forward everyday" i spoke my heart out cupping her face squeezing her cheeks lightly while she complains and I'm just very cute out by her

"I'm sorry, from now on my bubby is priority" i scrunch my nose watching her giggle

"i love you, red" she smiled

"i love you the most" i quickly responded before kissing her smiling on her lips before she wrapped me again for a cuddle and i let her bury her face on my chest

"you really love me?" she mumbled

"i do..i really do y/n y/l/n"

"that monkey is mine"

"i kno---WHAT???"


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