They Saved Me {COMPLETED}

Chapter 24 - Diary session I

Dear diary,

I don't know why I'm writing this now of all times but the journal Jake got me is really cute and I wanted to put it to good use.

I don't plan on going back to my apartment anytime soon considering Kevin knew where I lived. I hoped he didn't know where I was at the moment. I occupied my time hanging out with Lucas. He was teaching me ASL, I wasn't quite getting the hang of it but practice makes perfect.

I'm also trying to learn how to cook and I'll admit it seems like I'm getting better and better. Lucas loves my cooking for some reason but I won't complain.

Jake has been by my side through  it all since the phone-call. I was still on edge most of the time but it wasn't as bad as my previous panic attacks. Jake and I spend every moment of every day together. Even if we aren't saying anything to each other he's just there making me feel comfortable. One day I hope to repay him for everything he's done for me and I hope that day isn't too far away. I've been getting threatening messages and they come from different numbers but I know who they're coming from. Jake doesn't know this though because I don't want to bother him. I will eventually tell him but right now I don't want to pop our bubble.

I feel like there's something brewing. A storm is coming. I know that and I don't want to be too surprised when the storm tears away the roof from our head. I'll do anything to protect Jake and this is my battle to fight, not his.

We prayed y'all... like together...

It was weird at first honestly but there was the calm that came over me at some point. I don't know how it happened. It was weird but I liked it. Praying was relieving. We first thanked God for everything. Jake thanked God for Lucas and his friends. He even thanked God for me. I didn't want to blush but I did. It was flattering honestly that someone prayed for me. He asked me to thank God for something and when I opened my mouth it was intense. I first thanked God for Jake and then Lucas, his friends, Karen, my old boss at work. Then I remembered the nice old lady that bakes me cookies in my apartment because her children are married and stay really far away and the nice bartender that brings his little daughter to work in a restaurant. I remembered all this people and I thanked God for them. Because they all made me feel normal.

After thanking God we prayed for people around us. We prayed for their well-being, health and family. Then we prayed for each other and asked God to help us.

After that Jake gave me a bright smile, thanked me for praying with him and kissed my forehead. It was exhilarating. I love him.

That was about a week and a half ago but I guess God hadn't answered us yet but Jake convinced me that we should hold on a while.

His friends have been coming over and hanging with us. Shane was the most fun but I loved them all. They were family now. I hoped they thought of me that way too.

I just remembered something, the day Kevin called me, with all the panic that I was feeling I realized later that I never once thought of ending my life. I didn't think of a bridge. I thought of my pills but as quickly as the though came it went away.

Am I getting better?

I realize that the reason why I don't completely feel like I did before  is because I have something worth living for and it was Jake. It was the boy currently laying his head on my lap. I wasn't lonely anymore. I was dare I say it, getting happy. I wanted to live for Jake. To make him happy. I loved him.

I think I'm going to do a little prayer of my own.

Thank you God for bringing Jake to me. I don't know where I would have been if he wasn't here with me, standing by me. So thank you:)

I may not fully understand the God, prayer, Christian concept yet but I had to thank God for this one thing.

And that was Jacob Aiden Parker.

My Angel.