I Found You [Shinazugawa Sanemi x Reader]

9

            I sat outside the shop telling my crow to inform Senjuro I wouldn’t be home tonight as Sanemi finished grabbing a box of ohagi and a bottle of sake to share We’ve been out literally all day and the time for the sun to set is coming up on us. It’s been fun, after a while he finally stopped being so awkward and has been quite insistent on holding my hand. I don’t mind it really, it’s really nice to have that kind of physical contact with him.

            The bell dinged as Sanemi came out holding the box of ohagi and the sake in the bag, “Where do you want to go next?”

            I smiled and pointed out to a hill, “It’s kinda cheesy, but I want to watch the sunset with you.” With no hesitation, he nodded and grabbed my hand before setting off.

            While walking amongst the crowd we walked past a hotel. I looked back at Sanemi suddenly remembering we’d need a place tonight. “Are we grabbing a hotel room or do you plan to camp out?” He stopped for a moment and looked around us.

            “We can get a room if you want.” He looks back at me as I nodded and started to pull him along back towards the hill.

            "Then a hotel it shall be! Let’s hurry before it starts to set!”

            We sat on the grass as the sun set in front of us. Sanemi still held my hand and was kind of playing with my fingers as we snacked on ohagi and the occasional sip of sake.

            Looking over I actually lost my ability to breathe. His purple eyes reflected the sun and lights of the city beneath us, his skin had the orange-yellow glow outlining the scars and his features in all the right spots…especially his chest. Hot damn.

            AHEM, anyway back to his face. His lips had the same outline as his scars, and as he licked sake them they had a small glisten to them. Unconsciously I began to lean into him, and noticing this, Sanemi looked over for a moment before leaning in himself.

            Then shivers went down my spine as my eyes closed. Our lips made contact. Maybe it was the sake kicking in but my heart fluttered as Sanemi continued to kiss me.

            After the small, unintentional, make-out session Sanemi put his forehead on mine as we caught our breath. I started to chuckle and my smile was the biggest, goofiest, thing, “We sure moved a bit fast.” Sanemi chuckled a bit too, squeezing my hands. “Let’s tone down the pace a bit before we end up fucking each other tonight.”

            Sanemi backed up, turning bright red, and smacked my head again. “We are not going that fucking fast.” I pouted as it stung this time.

            "Ow! It was a joke you hardass!”

            Sanemi and I sat on the hill talking well past sunset, but eventually, we did set off and get separate rooms. Now, I should be asleep, but of course, I never am when I should be. I’m writing away in a journal under candlelight, again. Fortunately this time it wasn’t a letter, well it kind of was. Just not to the living.

            Ever since Kyojuro died I wrote down my daily events and just a general mood recap all dedicated to him. When I got the time to visit his grave, I’d repeat everything I wrote again. It was a way to kind of just cope I guess. Almost everything felt like a reminder of him, I could hardly stand being at the Rengoku estate without sobbing for a moment. Plus it didn’t help that I hung his haori in my room. I wouldn’t dare wear it in battle, I won’t risk it getting dirty or tearing, plus I don’t think it’d fit anywhere how I desire it to.

            But, every time I’d write and speak to him, it kind of just felt like he was right there listening intently. There would even be times when I’d feel warm and weight on me, almost like he was hugging me, or I’d get the urge to laugh like I would when he did. Which is precisely what’s happening right now.

            A huge smile was on my face and a warm weight was on my shoulders like he slung his arm around me and let out his booming, contagious, boisterous laugh. Of course, I was telling him that he was right and I really gambled my chances. Yet, his words couldn’t have pushed me more and made me as happy as I have been today. I bet he’s telling me “I told you so!” while laughing his ass off and whatnot.

            But as always, when I blew out the candle and shut the book, it all just went away as if he was only allowed to be there when it was open. It left me feeling cold but the happy feeling still lingered.

            I was scared when he died at first, I put on an awfully big front for a while. I needed to act as if nothing happened or as though the event had been years ago so I could properly complete my duties to the corp. It was really lonely, acting as if I had come to terms with his death so soon allowed the others to cry and mourn all they needed, especially Mitsuri, Tengen, and the boys. I had to put myself aside so they could take their time and not feel so rushed. Though, I guess I don’t have to worry so much now that Sanemi is around and made it quite clear today that he’s around to stay. Give it time and I’ll be over-sharing with him every second we talk and that will be enough to help me stay sane. Maybe I should take Shinobu up on some therapy, cause wow, I just realized I have a lot of horrible coping mechanisms.

            Okay, now that I debated my very existence I can hopefully fall asleep contently.

Word Count:1008