Never Have I Ever | J.JK Fanfiction

...had the courage.

"Jungkook, look-"

"I TOLD YOU I DON'T WANT TO TALK!"

He growled, pushing you over to the door that closed due to the impact and banging his hands on it, making you flinch very badly. 

He locked you between him and the door and stepped dangerously close. His breathing was heavy and strained. Face red with anger and all the pain he had been hiding for so long. "WHY DON'T ANY OF YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ME?!", he screamed with the same vigor. He hit the door on either side of you with each word.

You jerked on your spot, your eyes directed towards the floor. You were scared and you wouldn't try to lie. You dared not to look at his eyes. At a glance, you could see the sparkly orbs bloodshot. He really looked like he could hurt you. The uneven breathe of his which fanned your face was warm, feverish.

You shrunk into yourself, tilting your face to the other side as he came even closer. His lips brushed against your cheeks, you could even feel the soft pair trembling against your skin. Soon, his chest was pressed against yours, his mouth aligned with your ears, letting you hear every single movement of his.

"NO ONE. Literally...NO ONE! tries to know what I want to do, to say...why? Am I not worth someone's care? understanding? love? FOR FUCK SAKE! JUST ONE FUCKING TIME! Just ask ME what I want!."

Your chest heaved convulsively. It wasn't very difficult to understand that his words weren't attributed towards the incident involving you. His words contained all his bottled up emotions.

"J-Jung-"

"You're scared of me now...aren't you?" He whispered, cutting you off. You shook your head, preparing to take his messed up face in your hands, ready to listen to all that he had to say. But, he suddenly stepped back, in a lot of distance away from you. "Just...Just leave, Y/n." He whispered, turning around.

He had to stop when you held his hands.

You pulled him back, into your arms and hugged him tight by his neck. You didn't want to let him go, despite his struggles to break free. "Y-Y/n...leave me...", he mumbled but you pulled him even closer, running your fingers through his long hair.

He went still all of a sudden, shrinking into the size of your embrace. You felt him slowly wrap his arms around your waist and pull you closer, snuggling into the crook of your neck. You let out a cracked gasp as you felt your shoulders getting damp.

"Jungkook?"

It acted as a trigger to his huge dam of emotions. He never realized he needed this - someone's warmth to share his emotions with. He nuzzled his face deeper, looking for comfort in your body, making you stumble back. You slid down the door along with him.

He whimpered and sobbed into your chest, curling up in your arms. You were taken aback by his sudden outburst. His state hurt you. No one who had seen him in the college would've imagined that he was going through this much pain.

His arms around your body tightened as moments passed. You held his head close to your bosom, hugging his head, making him a cafuné. He just cried, wailed into you and you let him. There was no point in stopping him. It would all just bottle up again.

He held your hoodie so tight as if he could tear it apart. He kept nuzzling his face in your chest, trying to let out as much as he can in the warmth you provided him with.

"A-Am I that bad, Y/n?" You heard him mumble, making you hug him tighter. "Nobody wants to know what I feel like, what I want. I love my dad so much, Y/n...but he doesn't. He hates me, why? My mom? She fights with my dad for me, then advocates for his dreams of my future. My sister left me alone. My friends...except a few, use me. They think I- I don't know..."

"Jung-"

"You? D-Do you w-ant me as your f-riend, Y/n? W-Would you love me back if I ever conf-" He choked on his own words when he realized what he just spoke. You were left numb. He loves me? He really loves me!?

His words had those emotions in them, making it impossible for you to let go off his words. He really meant it didn't he? He loves you. What else could you probably ask for?

"J-Jungkook...it's not like what you think. Your parents love you. They fight for you, they fight over you because they love you. I know, they get so tough sometimes but- they might be hiding the same pain as you, right? I- don't know what happened to your sister, but she loves you...she'll happy for you, whatever you do..."

He was silent but you could feel his movements. You could feel him move closer to you even though there was no more space to cover. You could feel his chest raise and fall as he rested his head on your chest, hiding his eyes in the inner side of your elbow. You weren't sure if he could understand what you were telling or if he agrees with it, but right then, your mind was focused on calming him down.

Making him understand.

How could one not love this man who laid in my arms?

"I won't say that all these emotions are based on your misunderstandings...but Koo, you're too precious to be unloved." You didn't realize you called him by the pet name you kept for him. You had closed your eyes, letting out those words whilst constantly caressing his head.

"As of me, you know, I initially had a lot of bad opinions about your character. I thought you were that playboy that everybody were crazy about. I thought you were that rich brat who played with peoples' hearts and then made a joke out of them. But then...I have no idea when...all those ideas just vanished. My heart started beating faster when you stood by me. I started buffering when I spoke to you. I started loving your sweet voice, your taunting words...

...I started noticing how pretty you were. I started going crazy for the way those eyes looked when you looked at me. I started loving every small thing you did. I wasn't so sure at the beginning. I thought it was just a crush. All my misunderstandings slowly cleared. I became sure of what my heart felt for you. I started understanding why my heart ached when you come too close to me...

...I realized, that I- uhm...love you. I love you, Jungkook."