𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒; 𝑻.𝑮𝑰𝒀𝑼𝑼

t h i r t y - s e v e n

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a knock on the door snaps you out of your thoughts. you turned to look at the door from where you were seated on the couch, not having the strength to do anything about it.

today had been pretty draining for you. when ayumu woke up this morning, he immediately asked you about leukaemia. you told him a little more about the illness he had, how he's going to be feeling for the next few months, possibly even years. however, you didn't want to worry him too much, you added that there is a chance that he could get better. well, that's what you learnt from the doctor anyway. you've been told that kids who get diagnosed with leukaemia often get better over time. but there is a chance that the sickness comes back in the future, and in such cases...

another knock on the door pulls you back to reality, again. you let out a sigh, narrowing your eyes at the it. how useful it would be to have telekinetic powers at times like this. or you could just stop being lazy.

tired was an understatement, you've barely been getting any sleep these past two days and it was really taking a toll on you. you stay seated on the couch, silently hoping whoever it is at the door would assume you were asleep and leave. it was almost midnight anyway.

much to your dismay, the person continued knocking. with a defeated sigh, you forced yourself off the couch and reluctantly made your way to open the door. the lack of sleep was giving you a migraine at this point, putting you in a bad mood. you swung the door open a little too hard, unintentionally surprising the person on the other side of it.

"... you okay?"

you let out a hum in reply, talking seem like too much work right now. you stepped aside and allowed him in, shutting the door once he has entered. judging by the look on his face, you knew he was here because something happened. or maybe he found out. oh boy, this is going to be a long night.

you took a seat on the couch, giyuu placing himself next to you, making sure to leave a small gap between. usually being with giyuu brought you a sense of relief. he didn't talk much, but his presence was enough to make you feel less alone. however, as of right now- "what?" you finally spoke, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

he seemed to be deep in thought. unsure of what to say. he always has the same look on his face, it was almost impossible to tell what he's thinking. it made you more nervous.

"[y/n]," he started, voice as soft as ever. "what are you hiding?"

"wha-"

"please don't play dumb right now, it's not gonna help," he interrupted, locking his eyes with yours. you averted your gaze to the floor, not having the confidence to speak anymore. "[y/n]. there was a demon in your house last night, were you aware of that?"

you grimaced at how straightforward he was being. it no longer felt like you were having a conversation with a friend. giyuu was clearly suspicious of you now. you couldn't help but wonder what's going through his mind.

"yeah. i know," you replied, eyes tracing the lines that stretched across the floor. you weren't going to look at him, you can't. "what happened?" he asked, his tone stern and demanding. you didn't like it, but you understood why he was acting like that.

"just someone who knew my dad..." you couldn't help but frown at the thought of your father. none of this would be happening if he never interacted with that demon. blaming your father? of course. you didn't want to admit that it was your fault. but was it really though? you didn't do anything.

"what do you mean?" you could tell giyuu was getting impatient with your shallow replies.

"you know, my dad was a pillar and all. he met a certain demon at one point," you hesitated, then continued. "upper moon two, his name is douma. i guess my dad made some kind of deal? with him? i don't know, and i quite frankly don't want to know. anyway, that demon, i guess, he manipulated my father and lied to him, got whatever he wanted, and then killed him." you took a deep breath, bringing your knees up to your chest, eyes still glued to the floor.

"he came over last night, i don't know why. it was so out of the blue. he started asking about... my mum and ayumu and..." you let out a groan, shaking your head. "i don't know, i don't know why he came over. he just appeared and was acting all friendly like we've known each other for years, i've only met him once in my entire life. i don't know? he's just crazy."

you finally forced yourself to look at giyuu, which was a mistake on your part. you were expecting him to be mad at you for hiding something like this. however, he was staring at you with a soft look on his face, brows furrowed, almost like he felt bad for you. did he?

you felt tears forming at the corner of your eyes, slightly blurring your vision. quickly turning away from giyuu, you buried your face in your hands, not wanting giyuu to see you cry. you never liked crying in front of people, it was embarrassing. you felt that familiar prickly feeling in your nose and the ache in your throat as you tried to hold back your tears.

it finally hit you, things were never going to get better. your father made a deal with a demon and got killed, your mother died from an illness that ayumu now has and the demon that killed your father is back in your life. you didn't know what to do anymore, you felt so helpless. gritting your teeth in irritation as tears roll down your cheeks, you were feeling a mixture of sadness and anger.

and you couldn't help but cry even harder when a familiar warm hand gently wrapped around your wrist while the other rests on your shoulder. you felt as he slightly pulled you towards him until your head met his chest. it's been a pretty long time since you last got hugged. you forgot how nice it felt. to be cared for. one of the many things you missed.

"i'm sorry, i should've told you, don't be mad okay..?" you managed to force out, your voice was soft and trembling, you wondered if he even heard you. you didn't receive a reply, only the feeling of his arms tightening around you.

you hated how vulnerable you felt. but if there was one thing you like about giyuu, it would be how nonjudgmental he was. he never once made you feel uncomfortable about the things you have said and done.

shinobu had teased him about how quiet he was during the times the three of you were together. you agreed that he was quiet, but he was quiet in a good way. if that even made any sense. you honestly preferred having someone like giyuu to someone who wouldn't stop talking.

sure, the conversations you have with him were usually one sided, but that really didn't matter to you. because having him by your side was all the reassurance you needed.

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i finally graduated from highschool :D ! that means more time to work on this book so hopefully i can finish it before the year ends </3 i'll try my best to update as often as i can but do remember that i've got other things to do in life so please bear with the inconsistent updates. i do want to thank everyone who has been reading this book from the start, 245K is a crazy number and i'm very grateful for every single one of you. tysm for the support ily <33