So this is going to be the chapter that I don't make people act like their real personalities. I have written this chapter four times now, and I am tired of naming off the guests, trying to make Josh be a random douchebag, Matt to be awkward, and everything else. This chapter is going to be different. This chapter is going to be MY dream wedding. It's going to happen the way I want to happen, and the things I don't want to happen but will probably happen.
Lauren's P.O.V.
I curled up in the corner and tried to breath. I felt like I was in a little box, that was getting smaller and smaller. I wasn't claustrophobic, but right now I just couldn't breath.
I was staying at Nicole's, because it was somebody's (I honestly couldn't remember right now) that Josh and I were not aloud to sleep together the night before our wedding.
I closed my eyes tightely, and tried to make my headache go away. My eyes stung, and I felt like I was going to throw up.
There was a knock at the door. "Lauren, you okay?" Nicole asked, peeking her head in the door.
She must've spotted me in my corner, and she came in and sat down next to me. "What's wrong?" she asked.
I had my head on my knees that I had brought up to my chest, so I looked up. "I don't want to do it." I said quietly.
Nicole did an 'aww' and put her arm around me. She hugged me. "You'll be fine." she said, trying to get me to calm down.
"I'm scared Nicole. I don't want this to happen. I want to go back to five years ago when Josh and I just started dating. I don't want to get married. I'm scared." I whimpered, suddenly having tears stream down my face.
Maybe they were there the whole time. I would say that I felt numb, but feeling numb would be a blessing right now.
"Don't worry Lauren. You love Josh right?" she asked. I nodded.
"Yeah." I said quietly.
"And Josh loves you. Everything will be fine." she said.
"But what if I have an mental breakdown because of my anxiety, like right now?" I asked.
"Then me and Matt will help you into a quiet place for you can calm down." she said.
"What if I get scared because it gets too quiet or I hear ringing in my ears again?" I asked.
"Josh will be there." she said.
"What if - What if Josh changes his mind?" I asked. That was the worst.
"Lauren," she said, looking at me dead in the eyes. "JOSH. LOVES. YOU. He risked his life, even died for two minutes, just to protect you in the car crash. He does anything to make you smile. He writes songs about you, and asks you to go in his videos. I know for a fact he's NEVER asked any of his girlfriends to be in his videos because he knows they won't last, and he doesn't want any memories of them. You've been in his videos FOUR TIMES. He loves you."
We stayed there for a few minutes, and I looked at Nicole and smiled. "I think I'm okay now.... Can you get me a drink?" I asked.
I hated asking for things, but I just felt so emotionally and physically exhausted. "Of course. Water?" she asked.
"Please." I said. She smiled, got up and went to the kitchen.
I took out my phone and pressed the button to turn it on. The background was Josh. It was the first picture I took of him.
His hair was still black and blue, like when I met him. He still had that mishtevious grin, and childish eyes. I smiled.
He hadn't changed drastically. His eyes didn't remind me of a child as much anymore, but his smile still made me think I shouldn't trust him with a firecracker. He still got a little crinkles by his eyes when he laughed a lot.
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