Broken soul. (A fanfic starring Adar from the 'rings of power')

6

After a while he let go of her. A little shyly they continued walking, no longer holding hands but every so often smiling at each other. How could she get him to have more movement she reckoned is muscles needed exercise.

 
"You know Adar," we need more firewood. I usually do the cutting myself but it is hard work for me. Maybe you would like to have a go at it?"

For over an hour he cut wood. Whilst Eilith watched him. She loved to observe the play of his muscles as he worked away. She got the impression that he really enjoyed the exercise. Afterwards he took of his shirt and walked briskly into the back of the garden. Eilith fearful, he would run of, hurried after him her staff ready. He didn't run away though, he was in the hotspring, the rest of his clothes scattered on the ground on the side of the spring.
He was washing himself.

"I wish you would trust me, " he sad sadly, seeing her with her staff ready at hand. She felt torn.. could she really trust him.

She turned around, not only because she felt bad about not trusting him and bad about the fact that he might not be trustworthy but also because he was naked. It wasn't that she hadn't seen him naked before, at a contrary, she had washed him a few times by now, but each time he had been unconscious. It was an entire different matter now. She sat down in the grass a little further away, with her back towards him.

Later he walked up to her kneeled down and but his hand around her neck. She had a bit of a fright. He turned her face towards his and kissed her. That too surprised her but it wasn't unpleasant.. no, she responded with want and need. The first kiss had been gentle but than he kissed her hard. She gave in to his demands, the change of power was rather intoxicating. The danger of it too... she was at his mercy.

"Come with me into the pool," he asked. Without a word she followed. He took of his trousers once more and went into the hot spring. Than he watched her how she got undressed. She couldn't look at him, shy all of the sudden. His eyes on her naked body made her feel vulnerable and yet she felt also something that she recognised as desire... she moved towards him slowly.

"Please don't hurt me!" She half wispered. He took her gently into his arms.

"I told you that I will not have you unless you love me. I just want to feel you close."

It was wonderful to be in the warm water and to feel his skin against hers. She noticed how much he restrained himself, he made sure that their body only touched some. He kissed her gently, than he caressed her little, which send a longing into her body and made her let out a small moan. He withdrew.

"I have to distantiate myself now," he said, "otherwise I fear my desire will be so great that I want to devour you. I swore myself I will only go as far as you want me too." He said.

She wanted him, so very much but a part of her wasn't sure if he was using her, if he was true. What if he layed with her and than disappeared. Maybe he was a con-man. She would be heart broken.. also she had never been with a male and she wanted to be completely sure before she gave herself away like this.

She couldn't look at him, suddenly uncomfortable being naked she hid her body under the water.
"I'm not ready yet," she said. He looked a little hurt.

Than he got out of the water and got dressed.

"Let us go inside," he said his voice tired. "I want the familiar." Once inside he said, "Please tie me up again."

Eilith did as he asked, not sure about anything and confused about him wantingtobetiedupagain.

"Do you want some food," she asked him.

"No, I'm tired I shall sleep a while." With that he closed his eyes. He looked so sad. Did he think she didn't love him, she thought but, did he love her? 

She went for a walk, not hungry either, the emotionswereto much. He hadn't hurt her, he hadn't run away, what more proof did she need!

She went back and came to stand by him. He hadn't really been sleeping and so opened his eyes. 

"I would have thought that I was the one with the trust issues. Eilith," he said, "I want you to know, since I have come here something inside me has started to open up, it is as if a wound that could never heal, has actually started to heal. Remember you said you wished you could set me free, you are setting me free! I have never felt so free sitting here in my bindings. Nobody has ever shown me kindness and love, as you have. This I will never forget. You, and the time with you, however long it may be will always be a light shining into the darkness on which I can focus on."

She wanted all of this, all of what he had said to be true, it must be but...

"Oh Adar, I am but a child in a womans body. All my life I have lived in this sort of way. I have never much experienced the outside world, I have not seen any true evil. All my live I've been told that out there it is dangerous and treacherous. That nothing is as it seems. I've been told that men would use me, fool me and leave me heartbroken. These are the words of my mother, who did indeed experience this..
and Gil-Galad claims I am exceedingly gullible another reason why I should never leave this safe-place. I know he says these things to keep me here but in a way he is right, I don't know of the things of the world. When Galadriel brought you, she told me you are a murderer of many...
I have tried to kill animals for food before but I couldn't, my heart would break if I did, so I wondered, how cold must a heart be to kill one's fellow elfs, humans and creatures alike?
I took care of you because it is my nature to take care of that which is in need, despite who or what it is.
And than, you didn't seem vicious or evil, with a heart as cold as ice...
Soon I realised that you had become more to me and that feeling has grown stronger and stronger. By now, I love you so deeply that I would do anything for you. I am scared though, that you will break my heart and leave me."

She hadn't looked at him. Now she closed her eyes. She had said it...

"Untie me," he said.

She did still anxious. He took her into his arms and held her and than she couldn't stop the tears from flowing anymore.

"I thought you didn't love me," Adar's voice sounded incredulous, shaky. "I would have never thought anybody ever could or would. " He sounded like he wanted to cry himself.

She no longer cared even if he would break her, than she would have had a few wonderful days and moments.

He leaned down to kiss her. A kiss that seemed to last forever.

She looked into his eyes: " I am now ready, " she said a little tease in her voice. "You can now 'have' me because I do love you and if you don't make haste, I will have you!"

His eyes lit up with desire and boisterous jest...

He lifted her up still kissing her. Eilith wrapped her legs around his waist burning with a fire she had never felt before.
Adar carried her to her bedroom. A warm evening light filled the room, which turned this moment even more into a moment that wasn't from this world

He watched her as she undressed and this time she felt no more shame or doubt. He was the one!
He loved her both gently and yet with a hunger that seemed to be bottomless and he was devouring her indeed. The ecstasy was on both side though. Eilith had never imagined that such feelings could exist.

Afterwards she laid on his chest close to his heartbeat.

"You hear this heart, it beats for you, solely for you!" He said with conviction.