Broken soul. (A fanfic starring Adar from the 'rings of power')

8

ADAR

The last couple of days had been like a  dream. He had tried not to think about the 'before', he didn't want the broken, the dark, to tinge the little piece of heaven he had found. He had known that it wouldn't be forever but he had hoped for more time! Everything insight him screamed and fought against it but he knew, he would have to go. He wanted to stay, shut his ears and eyes to the world outside, pretend all was well and he was her elf. Create a small little family and be happy always. It was a Fantasie!
One thing though, he was quite certain off Eilith loved him, however incomprehensible it was. She knew a lot of things about him and still, she choose to love him... or, did she not? Of course the brokenness inside of him wanted to take that away from him... his subconsciousness was trying to sell him lies, such as .. 'She doesn't love you, she is just desperate to have a man and that's why she went along, probably fooling herself too.' But it couldn't be, if she was desperate she could have been with Gil-Galat a long time ago. He was a strong, handsome Elf and somehow Eilith had a connection with him, even if she claimed she would like to rid herself of him. Adar knew his mind... it would try to ruin anything that was good in his life because having good in his life made him vulnerable. She had given herself to him, he had been the first man who had lain with her, that meant a lot, didn't it? 
He was clinging onto the fact that Eilith loved him and he would continue to cling to it, he would use it to carry him through whatever evil and dark he had to face out there yet again..
In any case, he had to go and if she loved him she would wait for him and if not...he would know the truth.

Than he went inside to tell her the grave news.

EILITH

Adar looked terrible when he came back inside. His face displayed sadness and a grim determination.

He walked over to her, took her hands into his. Than he looked into her eyes for some time. What she saw there was love but the sadness was so evident to, that it made her really worried.

"Eilith, Sauron has risen and he is gathering an army. He has done so before and used my children to fight his war for him. Many of them have died. I have to go and try and protect them, free them from his grip if I can. 
Please know Eilith that it hurts to leave you, you, your home have become my safe space and I don't want to leave but I must!"

She starred at him unwilling to take ìn the news. She had heard of Sauron, the greatest evil of all evil. If his children were in danger, of course he had to go but it was with a heavy heart that she would see him go.

Hurriedly she collected a few things for him to take along. A warm cloak, food, drink and a few other things. Engaging with something practical, helped her to cope with the storm inside.

The orcs had been waiting outside, when Adar and Eilith stepped in front of the door, they stared at them. Adar leaned forward until his forehead came to rest on Eilith's, his eyes closed.

"Wait for me!" He whispered than he abruptly turned around ready to go.

"Onward!" He kind of bellowed to the orcs who agreed loud and eager. Than they hobbled and wobbled after him. He didn't turn around. Eilith watched him go.. a growing uneasiness in her chest and than she made a quick and unusual decision. 

She run inside, grabbed her own warm cloak, more food and drink and of course her staff. She had never made such a spontaneous decision but it felt right.
She couldn't wait here and do nothing! She had changed and so had her live. 

She wasn't sure what Adar would think, she reckoned that he wouldn't want her to be at risk and so maybe try to send her back. That's why she decided to stay hidden. She nearly ran in the direction he had left.. She would have liked to plan it all a litte but right now she could probably catch up with them, later Adar might change the direction and there was a possibility that she wouldn't be able to find them anymore.

It took almost three hours until she caught up with them. She had moved really fast but so had they apparently. Thankfully so far, they hadn't had a change of direction. It was a huge relief to see Adar, now she wouldn't leave him out of her sight! But she would have to be careful, tread lightly, so they wouldn't notice her. In a way she had practice in this because each time when she left the boundaries of her confinement, she had tried to be hidden. Occasionally she had come across elves, men, even dwarfs but she stayed hidden, not always, but mostly. 

She watched the small group moving along. The orcs were a noisy bunch which would thankfully assist her with her need to stay hidden. They were not only hideous they were also dirty and ragged. Coming to think of it, just like Adar had been when he first came to her. Now of course he was clean and dressed in some of her finest linen clothing. They were the colours of the woods surrounding them but he still stood out amongst them. He was taller too and agile, handsome! Going into battle he would have to wear armour again though. The thought of him going into battle was unreal but probably also because 'battle' was only an idea to her. The closest she had come to a dangerous situation, that could maybe be called a battle, was when a fox had tried to attack her. She had managed to fend him of with a branch because she didn't have her staff along. That the battle Adar was moving towards was of a very different nature, was obvious. Her staff that enabled her to use magic could be very useful, she had trained a few defensive spells as well, at least for smaller situations. Not against a vast army mind. unfortunately the staff was long and moving along was difficult because of that, that's why she didn't always take it along. Now she was glad to have it along though, she felt relatively safe with it and should the need arise she could protect Adar and his little company of orcs as well. 

Now that she was simply just following them, her mind functioned once again. The same protection spell that hid her home could protect her while she wasn't moving but so far it hadn't worked when she was on the move, hadn't needed it either. This spell could definitiv work for the night. She would move as close as possible to Adar and his group and than cast the protection spell over all of them. That thought made her feel warm inside. She was still looking after him, he didn't know but she did. She wouldn't be able to make a fire to keep herself warm, she realised, because they would see it. Thankfully it was late spring and the outside temperatures weren't so terribly cold anymore, hopefully her cloak would do, during the day it was already to warm to wear it. 

Why orcs, Eilith wondered? Why was Adar sought out by them, why was he befriended with them? Eilith was saddened by the fact that she judged them by their looks. Just because they looked appalling they didn't have to be bad as people said about them. Strange and sad that the mind quickly made that connection between ugly and bad, she compared it to spiders. Here too, people hated and feared them because they looked appalling to them. But clearly watching them with Adar now she could see they were not evil. More so playful, boisterous. Eilith marvelled at that, despite the fact that they were going to battle.

Another thing that puzzled her: Who were Adar's children and why would Sauron use them, did they have special skills? She would love every one of his children, she had decided, they were after all a part of him. She didn't care about who the mother was, Adar clearly didn't love her anymore! At least she hoped so. He had never talked about it, even the subject of his children, he hadn't wanted to talk about it much. She only new there was many of them and that they were all very different. How many she wondered now, had there been more than one mother? This was indeed possible, it bothered her a little. But he had changed, hadn't he?