Broken soul. (A fanfic starring Adar from the 'rings of power')

19

Gil-Galad followed them, making sure he stayed hidden. All though the sneaking about was most undignified, it was in a way also exiting, different. A bit like in the day with his old friends, now such a long time ago. It caused him to feel nostalgic, angrily he pushed those thoughts and feelings away, they were too painful.
Behind a rock he watched how that ragged elf advanced on Eilith. Gil-Galad felt his own body reacting. He should have been ashamed of himself, should have gone and protected her. But he kept on watching and his arousal intensified.. but as he watched he noticed something peculiar. That elf, his features were familiar.. where did he know him from...

 and than it hit him like a iron fist to his stomach, that elf was Merlion. That realisation was so overwhelming that he had to sit down and try to calm down. Could it really be Merlion? Again he took a look because he was so shaken by his discovery, that he didn't realise that the dynamics between the elf, Merlion and Eilith had changed by now. It was definitely Merlion. Millions of emotions washed through him. Merlion had been his closest friend but Gil- Galad never told him that. In those days he had wanted all of his friends to believe he was independent from anyone, strong and the leader. Really he'd needed Merlion to be by his side and to make him feel less alone and supported. How he had missed him, he had missed them all, his little brother! He had had many problems after his friends had all gone. He had been like a tiny boat tossed about in the stormy waves of live, feeling as if he was about to drown. He had always hoped that the search parties would still find them. But, they never did and over the years Gil-Galad had given up. Seeing Merlion now, made him feel like he was in that stormy sea yet again.
Now he didn't feel the slightest bit of arousal anymore, as a matter of fact he remembered his duty towards Eilith. Shame washed over him, because of the feelings he'd had watching her being harassed.

So he jumped out from behind the stone. "Let her go!" He shouted. Even if this elf was Merlion, there was something not right about him and he was endangering Eilith at this present moment.

Merlion let go of Eilith and turned to face him, there was immediate recognition in his eyes.

"Gil-Galad!" He stated, there was hatred in his voice.

This was definitely Merlion but he was certainly not his loyal friend anymore! He also looked terrible as if he had been trough tough times. Gil-Galad felt the old guilt overwhelming him. He should have tried to help them, or followed secretly but instead he had gone for help. But, when he returned with help, they had all been gone.

"Merlion!" Gil-Galad replied unsure. Eilith seemed to be unharmed and curiously he began to realise that she was in fact hiding behind Merlion, who in return seemed to want to protect her.

"On no, Gil-Galad, you can not have Eilith, you leave her alone, you hear me!" Merlion said.

Gil-Galad still thinking that he was coming to Eilith's defence demanded: "I need you to step aside and let Eilith go," he said trying to sound sovereign. Merlion or not Merlion, he had no right to defile Eilith.

Now Eilith stepped forward. "No, Gil-Galad, I am with Adar or should I say Merlion," With that she looked at Merlion as if fascinated by the fact that he was Merlion. "I love him and he loves me! I need you, to let go of me!"

Gil-Galad couldn't quite follow. The mere concept of the two of them was utterly skurril! He looked at Eilith, fair and immaculate. She impersonated beauty and innocence, Merlion on the other hand.. but even if, he couldn't accept the fact. How could he let go of Eilith? She had been his escape. Whenever life was unbearable, frustrating or boring he had fled to her little hut and dived into the little fairy-tale he had created for himself.

To make things clearer and more realistic Merlion put his arms around Eilith and she leaned in on him. Gil-Galad could clearly see that she had been speaking the truth.

His mind was racing, he could attack, maybe he could kill Merlion and take Eilith for himself but he didn't really want to loose Merlion now that he had found him and Eilith would hate him and he would have lost her anyways.

He fell down on his knees in front of them, dropping his sword on the ground.

"Than kill me for a life without you Eilith is no life!" He said ready to be no more.

Eilith knelled down taking his hand. He looked up at her. "Gil-Galad, I don't want a life without you, I  just need you to set me free, a life, were I can choose to stay or go as I please and where I can be with Adar! But all of this doesn't mean that we can not be friends."

He contemplated, maybe this could work. It could be similar to before but of course he would have to burry his hope of ever winning her heart? thinking of it, he could still try!

"It shall be as you have said." He said with more conviction than he actually felt.

Now that this was partially sorted he needed to try and mend his long lost friendship with Merlion.

ADAR

Adar had been distraught after Lethauri's ceremony because only than, had he realised that he had just lost his last friend. So, momentarily he was pulled into that deep pit of loneliness and darkness, that he had experienced so many times before and this had actually caused him to be out of his mind. He had registered Eilith but couldn't really see her for who she really was. This experience had frightened him. What if he would have this kind of absences more often, he nearly hurt Eilith, what if he really would hurt her one day? He couldn't bare the thought, she was his light, under no circumstances did he want to extinguish his only flame of hope.

Eiliths reaction was really reflecting her nature, she was predictable in that sense but this actually allowed him to trust her to a certain degree and trust was definitiv something he had completely lost over the years, he couldn't even trust himself. 

When Gil-Galad appeared, he felt the old sting of hatred and all he wanted was to see him suffer! At first he wanted to attack him, cause him pain, have him crawl on the ground begging for mercy. But Eilith's voice brought him back to reality. Adar remembered that he had wanted to change but as he watched Gil- Galad crumble, after Eilith told him that she didn't want him, he did feel a strong sense of justification. Gil-Galad didn't have to endure all that evil, all the pain and humiliation but now it was the other way around, Adar had what Gil- Galad couldn't have. When Eilith offered Gil-Galad friendship, he wanted to forbid it but he knew she wouldn't have it. He couldn't tell her what she could or couldn't do. 

When Gil-Galad asked him if they could talk, he didn't really want too but the look in Eilith's eyes urged him on. So they walked and they talked.. Gil-Galad asked him for forgiveness, for having made the wrong choice back in the days. Only than did Adar realise, that Gil-Galad hadn't run away leaving his friends to fend for themselves, his intentions had been to get help. He also realised that Gil- Galad couldn't have changed the outcome, the trolls that had come to fetch them had been too strong even for Gil-Galad. As a child, Adar hadn't realised this, he had only felt betrayed and abandoned. But, even if Gil-Galad had been there too, it hadn't made a difference. Once they had been in Morgoth's grip, they had been separated anyways, left alone for days in the semi-dark and cold, only with a little bread and water to sustain them. Of course all of that had been to break them, so they would one day, after much evil be completely obedient. And, it had worked.. but now all of that was over! Unfortunately in his soul it wasn't over yet but the mending had begun.

So as the evening was settling in, Adar forgave Gil-Galad and he realised that in one day he had lost a friend and gained a friend. He felt so much lighter after!