Broken soul. (A fanfic starring Adar from the 'rings of power')

24

ADAR

All was well, the Uruk-clans had each found a place in the mountain and their leaders were doing well. Every evening they would meet with Adar to talk about more pressing matters, if there were any. Sometimes Adar would go into the mountain to make an appearance. The uruk's and especially his own kind, liked him coming around. Other than that, he was free to tend to his own little home and garden and most of all to his new wife. It was a good wholesome time. 

And than one day there was a knock on the door. Eilith was in the woods looking for mushrooms, so Adar opened. In front of him stood a barely recognisable creature. Adar had never seen anything like it, as a matter of fact, he seemed more spirit than flesh.

It's voice was like the rushing of a wind.
"I'm here to warn you," it said.

Adar felt a little perturbed. "Who or what are you," he demanded to know first, "how do I know I can trust you?"

"Tyrion," it whispered, as if it didn't want anyone else to hear what it had said. It took Adar a moment to make sense.

"TYR...," he almost shouted.

"SHHHHHH," Tyrion had put his hand over Adar's mouth. "Nobody must know that I still exist, well sort of exist," he added sarcastically. 

"Where have you been," Adar was so very exited, he had thought that he was the only one left. Tyrion had disappeared many many years ago and all had believed him to be dead, even Morgoth himself.

"What happened to you?" It was clear that Tyrion had experienced his own path of darkness, at least, he looked the part.

"I tried to end my life, and ended up somewhere 'in-between'. But Adar, I'm not here to reunite with you. It can not be, because I exist in that in-between dimension. I have managed to manifest for the time being but I recon it wouldn't last for very long...  Adar, Morgoth has returned! He is not as strong as he was but who knows if that isn't going to change. I have seen our brothers move through the 'in-between dimension', on their way to heaven. All but you, it could well be that Morgoth will come looking for you and our children."

When he had finished speaking he started to disappear, he had delivered his message. Adar was completely thrown, Tyrion was somehow still there, he wasn't the only one left! And than, the more grave news started to sink in. If Morgoth was back, he would indeed come and look for him. He would probably come and look for all of them but since he was the only one left...            A shiver went down his spine, Morgoth, the one responsible for all his pain and suffering. Adar knew he had changed but he also knew Morgoth, his new life didn't work with Morgoth in it. He would make Eilith suffer, probably right in front of Adar, so he would be his puppet once more. Adar couldn't bare the thought. Eilith had to go! But she wouldn't go just like that. Oh how he loathed Margoth, he hadn't wanted to hate anymore and his heart had just began to heal!

Adar was sitting in one of the handmade wooden rocking chairs that were now standing on the new patio, facing the newly planted garden. A dwarf had shown him how to built it. Everything seemed as it had always been. Lately, anyways. Peaceful.. he wanted to just ignore the fact that Tyrion had been there, wanted to put it down as a hallucination! He couldn't though, the prize was too high. Yes, they might actually have some time still, maybe Morgoth wouldn't come for another few months and maybe just maybe, he wasn't going to come at all but maybe he would be there tonight or tomorrow and than it would be too late. Eilith had to go as soon as! 

When Eilith returned, humming softly to herself, he couldn't look at her. What he was about to do was breaking his heart and would probably break her heart too. 

Before she tried to kiss him, as she always did, when she came back from wherever, he jumped up. Avoiding eye contact he said with an icy voice: " You need to go Eilith, you can no longer be here. Go to your mother and don't ever come back here!" 

Eilith had stopped dead in her tracks, there was an earie silence. 

"Adar..?" she asked incredulously.

"You heard what I said, Eilith I am dead serious! I don't want you here!" His voice had taken on an unnatural dangerous tone.   

"Adar, I'm sure that whatever it is, that we can sort it out together!" Eilith seemed desperate. The pain inside his heart had gotten so big, that he succumbed to shouting at her. 

"I said, get out of here! And don't you dare linger around, I know if you're there, I have always felt your presence, I want you to be gone, fully! You hear me, GET AWAY!" He was near breaking point. 

"Please Adar.." He could hear that Eilith was crying now. 

"OUT," he screamed, he felt like throwing her out... 'Go,' he thought, 'please just go now!' and than he heard her leave. He stumbled to the window, to make sure that she was really going. There she was, running into the forest. His shaking hand went up to touch the cool of the window... than he crumbled down and cried, he hadn't cried like this since he had been a child. He cried and cried, cried for all he had ever lost but most of all for Eilith. How could he go on without her, what point was there! After what seemed like a very long time, he quietened down.

There was hope, when Morgoth had been, when this too, had passed than he would go to her and explain. He would take her back here and rebuilt what Morgoth had ruined. Only for now it was ruined! He had managed to kill Sauron, he would kill Morgoth as well! He was no longer a lost soul, he had found an anker and because of that he was strong!

He tried to sort his mind, it was quite possible that Eilith would return a few hours later, hoping that he had calmed down and that they would be able to talk about it now. This would have normally been the case, although he had never shouted at her before. He had to show her that he was serious, he knew he had to do something drastically. With a heavy, heavy heart, he took an axe and hacked up the door, the walls, the furniture and he even rampaged through the garden. Afterwards he felt like there was nothing left of him, just an empty shell. The black hole had him back... only that this time, there was a little flicker of hope!

Than he went to the entrance of the cave. Here he was met by one of the guards. Gravely he told him to go and get a few more helpers. While he was waiting for them, he started to collect stones and wood, together with a bunch of his children he blocked the entrance, only leaving a very small gap. He would patrol from this point for a while because he did expect Eilith to come back, maybe even a few times and if Morgoth was coming at the same time, than he wanted to be there to protect her in whatever way possible. He made sure though, he could block the entrance fast, if need must be. The layer of stones and wood was thick, he didn't want anybody to come in and also for no one to get out. He himself would once again life in the dark, it suited his mind state. After the entrance was finished, he send everyone back to their cave, he wanted to be alone.

Sure enough Eilith returned that evening. He watched her coming closer, to what once used to be their beautiful new home. He watched her sink to her knees in disbelieve, after she had taken in the destruction. He saw her look up to the entrance of the cave, from a point where she couldn't see him. He saw her get up and start walking towards him. Quickly he assembled the makeshift door. She wouldn't be able to come through, not without force. She could of course, if she used her staff but hopefully she would think that he just didn't want her there anymore. If she did break through, she would find him there, with both hands clutching the rubble that was separating them and with tears running down his face.   

He could hear her trying to find an entrance, eventually she must have given up, there was silence for a while. He could feel her presence so strongly. 

"Adar," she called out. 

'Go away,' he thought. Closing his eyes, the longing was unbearable. 

"Adar," she called out once again, "I don't know what is wrong but just so you know, I will always love you! forever and ever and if you ever wanted to be with me again, I will indeed be at my mothers because I will be waiting for you for as long as it takes!"  

'I love you too', he wanted to shout out to her, 'I love you so much that I need you to go! But believe me, once this is over, I will make it up to you.' She seemed to hang around a little longer and than she left. EMPTY SILENCE remained...