Broken soul. (A fanfic starring Adar from the 'rings of power')

13

Adar didn't want to let go of her and face the fact that actually Eilith being here, was most unfavourable. He had just given orders to break up camp to join Sauron's army! With Sauron getting impatient it wasn't wise to wait any longer. She couldn't come, that was for sure! He wouldn't allow it! Even though he hated the thought of being parted again.

"Oh Eilith, my heart so longed to see you, to feel your loving touch and to hear your sweet voice but I so wish you wouldn't have ventured out into this dangerous world!" 

She loosened her grip and looked into his eyes. "When you left, I knew I couldn't just go on as before. Adar you have changed my life, it is nothing like it was before. I can not sit and sit and do nothing, whilst you are out here, risking your life, which is very noble indeed. I am not defenceless Adar, I've came all this way on my own and as you can see I am unharmed." 

Eilith seemed a little offended and yes, she had made it all the way here but he had lived through many of the horrors the evil in this world could come up with, the mere thought of her having to endure any of this made him shiver, but it also made him feel a fierce need to protect her. 

In any case, this moment was his, he would shut out the world, all his responsibilities and the past, especially the past that evil lurking darkness! He would not allow any of that to ruin the precious moments he could have now with Eilith. 

With his finger he traced the features of her beautiful set face and than once again he did something he didn't even think he still could, the sheer meaning of it had become a mere concept to him. He smiled! Oh, he knew how to grin, sarcastically, in a gruel way but a sincere smile, that expressed a certain inner feeling of peace, joy and slight amusement, he couldn't remember until now.. and suddenly he was only glad that she was there, internally grateful! She had willingly taken on the discomforts and the risks of such a journey just to be with him, she had not given up either, until she had reached him! She loved him! He felt like he could do anything now. Forcefully he leaned in to kiss her, 'MINE!' he thought, 'You are MINE!' She responded just as hungry. For just a split second, he was a little ashamed of the fact that his bed as well as his body were not the cleanest but he figured by her eagerness, that she was not offended by this. After that, he devoured her like he was the king of the world, empowered by her devotion! 

Afterwards he lit a candle that was next to his bed. He wanted to see her, all of her. She was lying next to him like a being of light, smiling at him, looking contend. He realised he was also still smiling, as a matter of fact he couldn't stop now. Again he traced her face with his finger and than down her neck over her flawless skin. This seemed to wake her up yet again. This time he made sure he felt every movement, every detail of their togetherness. 

She went to sleep after that, of course, she wasn't used to being awake all night. Again he watched her. So peaceful, so undefiled. She couldn't stay, he couldn't bare this innocence to be ruined. She was his hope, his promise of a better after! Also he loved her so much, that he under no circumstances wanted her to get hurt. Would she leave? Voluntarily? How could he make her leave, if she refused?

He got dressed. Now that she was here, he longed to wash himself, properly. Before Eilith, he couldn't have cared less, he felt dirty inside, so his 'outer'- shell was dirty too, he hadn't even been aware of that. Now things were different, he wanted to be her man and because she was something that was clean in his life, unstained, he wanted to be clean too. This 'need' to be clean was probably mostly an inner need to clean out all the filth of his past life but cleaning his body was an 'external' way to achieve a small sense into that direction. He went to the stream nearby, and washed himself many times over, until he felt a sense of cleanliness. Many off his children stood by watching him. They were surprised at first but than some of them followed suit, until a lot of them were in the water splashing about loudly. Like children Adar thought, smiling yet again. He hated the fact that they had to join Sauron in a few days but he felt renewed strength and hope. There was goodness in this world, maybe just maybe, he would be able to defeat Sauron after all!

EILITH

When she came across the Orcs in the dark, she tried not to be too opinionated, tried not to be scared but rather see how it would develop. Perhaps if she was friendly, they would be too. But, they had been so noisy and clumsy, trying to get hold of Raghnall's reins, for whatever reasons, that Raghnall got all scared and kept on rearing up. She tried to call out to them but her voice basically got drowned out by the noise. But 'his' voice cut through the racket, as well as through her heart. ADAR! There he was! Frankly she hadn't been that sure if she would ever find him again but she had prayed and not given up the hope that maybe.. and than, she had actually found him! He looked like he wasn't believing what he was seeing. Eilith wasn't sure if he was happy to see her or not, his whole mannerism was at first stealthy and abrupte, until he pulled her into his embrace. Than she knew, he loved her still! The next hours were probably the happiest hours of her life. How much she had missed him! What was the point of her life if she couldn't be with him! 

In the morning after, he spoke to her, explained that she couldn't stay and that he needed her to go back and stay safe. He had explained his feelings to her and she understood his reasoning but, she wouldn't! She had tried to reason with him, tried to explain to him, that she wasn't just a defensive female but after a while she realised that she couldn't come along with him knowing, he was adamant. She hadn't told him, that she had followed them secretly before, she'd only told him, that she had simply followed the direction Sauron was said to gather an army. Knowing that Adar wanted to free his children. She was going to follow them once again secretly. Maybe he would be upset with her, if he found out but maybe she would be able to help him at some stage and the thought of her protecting him a little made it worth while. He didn't know her. Her magical abilities were strong, stronger than she understood herself even. Once or twice she had unleashed some of it and even than it had only touched a power she had felt rising up inside of her. She had been scared of it, because that power was linked to a side of her that she didn't quite understand, almost as if it wasn't her but rather an external power. Now she wished, she had explored it more, tried to find out how strong her power was and what she could do with it. Now she just knew, should Adar ever be in real danger, she would bring wrath upon whatever evil foolish enough to try! She could feel it wanting to burst out by the mere though of him being hurt, never before had she felt this way. 

Saying good bye was difficult, because really, Eilith knew that it wasn't a real good bye. She tried to focus on the sad feeling of knowing she wouldn't be able to touch him for however long also seeing his despair, helped her to seem a bit more authentic. It had been hard to stay truthful, when they had spoken about her taking her leave, mostly she had avoided talking about this. Just before she rode of Adar asked her to swear that she would ride back to her home. Maybe he had a feeling that she wasn't happy to comply? She couldn't swear on that, so as she rode of she called out: "I swear that I love you!" Which wasn't a lie!