What It Is (Harry Styles AU)

Fifteen (What falls apart)

Fifteen (What falls apart)

Come by and knock on my house of cards. If it falls I'll rebuild it from the start. – Shawn Mendes

Luke and I were hanging out in my bedroom, enjoying some time together just talking about silly things and laughing like we always do. We were mostly doing that because we were waiting for Paz to go to work, so that we could go to the living room to watch TV.

"So..." Luke starts, dragging the word as a smirk takes over his features. "Have you and Harry done it yet?"

"Done what?" I ask, pretending not to know what the hell he's talking about.

He rolls his eyes and I shrug my shoulders. "Did he put his p in your v?"

"Since when do we refer to penis and vagina by their initials? Are we ten years old?"

"Seemed more appropriate," he explains and adds, "Besides I need to start watching what I say because of Scott. That kid has already heard too much shit coming from my mouth. I don't want to traumatize him or something."

"I thought you told Harry the kid would be fine, you've been through a lot of stuff and you still turned out alright."

"Yeah, I turned out alright all things considered. But it messed me up, you know? I could've been a completely different person, I had so much potential and I could've done so many things. I like to pretend that my life is fine, but the truth is I'm not normal."

"Nobody is normal."

"Yeah, but I'm screwed up above average. I mean I act like a kid 90% of the time, I take naps after lunch, I can't keep any job –the only reason I haven't' been fired from the one I have now is because my boss feels bad for me -, I can't keep a girlfriend for more than six months, you basically pay all of my bills-"

"I do not pay all of your bills. I just help you out sometimes. It's what friends do and you shouldn't feel bad about it," I state firmly, cutting him off.

"It's not normal. I'm not normal and neither are you, Lara."

I frown and feel confused that we're suddenly talking about me. "What's wrong with me?"

"You hate your family; you're scared of commitment; your best friend does terrible things to you yet you still love her; you're too close to me, I mean you spend so much time with me; you know all of my secrets, it's like I'm a part of you, it's not healthy."

"Where the hell is all this coming from? We're best friends, of course we're close. Seriously how did this go from being a stupid and playful conversation about my sex life to you basically talking shit about our friendship?"

He locks eyes with me but remains in his spot, leaning against my headboard, as I seat at the end of the bed. "I've just been thinking about some things lately."

"Things? What things?"

I don't know how to feel. Luke is never like this, he never gets upset or annoyed at anything, much less anything that has to do with me. Have I done something that made him act like this? I don't remember anything of the sort, this feels so sudden and unexpected.

"I don't know. It's just... most people I've dated have broken up with me over the fact that I spend too much of my time with you. What if they're right?"

No, no, no, no...

This can't be happening. I can't lose him. Not Luke. Not the one constant in my life. When things get rough, when people hurt me or leave or I leave them, Luke has always been there to pick up the pieces and put me back together. He's always been the one to fix me, to help me feel okay again. Without him, I have nobody. Paz doesn't even notice if I'm hurt and I don't have any other close friends...