FIRE AND BLOOD [Aemond Targaryen]

10: I don't need a crown

Visenya stood there for a few seconds, too afraid that if she moved, the storm would break. Jace has always been a person to easily read by the girl, so it didn't take her a lot to know he was disappointed, and she felt like the worst person on Earth.

As for Rhaenyra, Visenya couldn't really describe the emotions on her sister's eyes. But she knew Rhaenyra knew.

"Jacaerys." The oldest spoke without taking her eyes off Visenya. "Would you leave as for a minute?"

The young prince obeyed his mother and left the room as he sighed, Visenya's eyes following all of his movements.

"He and Luke both came to surprise you for your name day." The Heir spoke coldly. "Imagine our surprise when the both of us came to surprise you in your rooms and you were not here."

"I was..."

"Don't even bother, Visenya. I know you were with Aemond. The both of you have the largest dragons alive and you thought no one would notice? Seven Hells!" She bursted and Visenya looked down knowing there was no point on lying. "I'm not even going to ask what you did. But will you tell me how long have you known you loved him?"

The girl wanted to say it was complicated, that she didn't know, but Rhaenyra wouldn't find that answer good enough. "It has been coming on so gradually, that I hardly know when it began. Perhaps before we left to Dragonstone."

"Then why would you accept my proposal? Why would you do that?"

"Because I was a kid! I didn't know I loved him. I didn't know it was him, okay?" Visenya raised her voice, frustrated that no one would understand her. "You told me all those things about what I was meant to do and you told me the only way I could reach it was if I became Jace's wife, and I believed you! Because I thought you would want the best for me!"

"And I do!" Rhaenyra approached her, raising her voice as much as her sister. "I am trying to make you great!"

"I don't want to be great!" The younger felt a knot forming on her throat as tears built up in the corners of her eyes. "You named me, Rhaenyra. And you always told me to never forget what my name meant. It means power, strength, rebellious... And my own name has been haunting me for 5 years reminding me that I had not kept up to it every time someone said it. And I tried to so hard to be better. To be as I used to be. Pretty, funny, soft. But I can't do it anymore. I don't know what I am meant to do with my life. Great things or meaningless, but I know for sure that I don't need a crown to accomplish whatever tasks the gods have for me."

"I don't understand." The Heir's expression softened a little.

"Jace is good and kind and gentle but I have been miserable in Dragonstone and I felt like an awful person for feeling such things when I chose to be there, when I love  those 3 boys and you with everything in my heart. And now I know it was because I was missing him. I don't need to be Queen to fulfil my destiny as a Targaryen but I sure need Aemond, sister." She confessed as she grabbed Rhaenyra's hands. "I can't do this anymore, I can't keep breaking my own heart. I don't want to keep choosing between my mother and my love."