Streamers Boy - Changbin FF

16 - Memories

Guilt and regret built up inside me as my heartbeat started to rise. At first I didn't even notice, that his hand took mine and even intertwined our fingers. When I did I let my head fall low.

"I'm not too sure why I did it. I was scared, scared for you and the others. If something happened to you, that moves in the way of your carrier, I would have never been able to forgive myself. I just thought that running away would solve the problem, but it didn't. It backfired totally and I want to apologize. I didn't want you or any of the other guys to go through that... I'm sorry..," I rattled, not having a thread I could follow with, but rather rambling all the things that piled up inside my head.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Changbin asked in a low voice

"Because I wanted yesterday to be like it was in the end. Calm and filled with no worries... I couldn't bring myself to ruin the peace between us when we were just watching tv...", I said still missing out on eye contact with him. I felt way too ashamed of my wrongdoings to be able to look into his beautiful dark eyes. I looked at our intertwined hands and felt even worse, I don't deserve him. My fingers straightened themselves, so I could get out of his, but he wouldn't let me. He grabbed my hand with a stronger grip and I looked up to him, meeting his eyes.

"It's ok. Everyone makes mistakes. I'm just happy that you're well now and recognized what you did wrong.", he said in a comforting way, bringing tears back into my eyes. Now he was the one trying to part our hands, but only so he could bring me into one of his strong hugs. Sitting next to each other in a hug felt weird, as our bodies have to twist a weirs way. He pulled me down on the bed and now I was laying down in his arms, just like the first night when he slept at my place. For a short moment everything looked alright again. The whole hospital experience, the drama and anxiety piled up inside of me, just basically everything that happened today exhausted everything out of me and so it didn't take me too long to fall asleep in his buff arms.

_Time Skip_

I slowly opened my eyes confused, how long did I sleep? Next to me was still Changbin, but with his back turned to me. If I'm not completely in the wrong, I think he's also a wearing a different shirt. The room was pretty dark, but not too dark. The source of light coming from the half-covered window. I sat up and patted around my body to find my phone, but I couldn't seem to find it on me. Now I looked around the room and found it on the nightstand on his side of the bed. That's not good. I have to crawl over him to get to my phone, because my side of the bed stand right next to the wall and at the bottom of the bed was a pretty high cupboard. He looks so peaceful, I can't just wake him up.

I sat up and slowly leaned over him, to check if I could grab my phone by just hovering over him somehow. To my surprise I did get close, but not close enough. I could barely touch it with the tip of my fingers, still not enough to grab it though. That's when his hand also moved towards my phone and I looked down, as my head was hovering right over his. I can already feel my check burn up before he even got to my phone and hand it to me. Please don't tell me he was awake all this time...

"You could've just told me. I wasn't sleeping", he mumbled, making me curse at myself inside my stupid head. Changbin turned towards me and also looked a bit surprised as I was more or less on top of him. To end this awkward encounter, I just quickly moved back to my original spaced and smiled a bit at him.

"Thanks... I thought you were sleeping..", I mumbled embarrassed which made him smile a bit. Now he also sat up and I looked at the clock. It was late evening, somewhere around the time where I would start my streams. Wait. My streams! I stared at my phone in disbelieve and widened eyes as I went to twitter.