weak ➸ camren

chapter 25 ➸ how can you be sure?

Lauren held her breath when she heard Camila shuffling around in her bunk. Her mind was racing, trying to process her recent discovery. She barely had time to think, though, because moments later the curtain of her bunk was ripped open with a force that made Lauren's heart jump.

"What did you see?" Camila's voice was low in the back of her throat, and Lauren could tell she was trying to keep quiet. Their other bandmates were asleep in the same room. Before she could answer, the bus rolled to a stop and Camila had to grab onto the wall to keep herself from falling over.

"Lauren!" Camila hissed, holding the journal in front of her face and glaring at the other girl. "I know you saw it. The bookmark was in the wrong spot. I knew I shouldn't have trusted you!"

Lauren bit her lip, knowing she'd been caught. Granted, snooping hadn't been the best idea. But she'd found out something important. Something that needed to be fixed.

"You can't go on like this, Camila," Lauren sat up slightly in her bunk, using her elbow to keep herself somewhat upright.

"It's none of your business what I do, Lauren!" Camila spat back, tightening her grip on the journal. Her hands were shaking, knowing that Lauren could easily speak up and get Camila sent back to the institution. "You know what?" Camila shook her head and turned away. "Forget it, Lauren," she muttered, disappearing out of the front of the now-parked bus and slamming the door behind her.

Lauren held her breath when the sound made Normani stir in the bunk above hers. When no one seemed to have awoken, she buried her head in her pillow and groaned. Camila couldn't keep doing this to herself.

She considered going out after Camila. But she also knew that giving Camila her space was probably the best option. She didn't want a repeat of the fight they'd had at the end of the previous tour. Going through that again wasn't the best idea.

Lauren rolled onto her back, willing herself not to cry. Why did Camila have to be so stubborn? Couldn't she see that what she was doing was harmful? Lauren swallowed hard and resisted punching the wall, knowing it would wake someone.

When the silence became too torturous for her, she pulled out her phone and scrolled through twitter. Of course, that was a bad idea as well. Pictures of her and Camila littered her timeline, and she ended up turning off her phone and shoving it in the space between her mattress and the wall. She couldn't turn her thoughts off.

After what felt like forever, Lauren couldn't control herself anymore. Camila had yet to return to the bus and Lauren couldn't help but worry. Even if they didn't see eye to eye on things, she still had feelings for Camila that didn't go away. Feelings that she'd never had for anyone else but the younger girl.

So of course, Lauren quietly rolled out of her bunk and looked around, stealing a pair of Dinah's flip flops. She pulled the curtains to both her and Camila's bunks completely shut, hoping no one would wake up and realize they were missing. After taking a deep breath, she tiptoed to the front of the bus.

"Camila?" she called quietly, stepping out into the parking lot and shivering in the night breeze. She was about to call the girl's name again when she heard sniffling from behind her. Turning around, she sighed in relief when she saw Camila sitting with her back pressed against the side of the bus.

"Camila?" she bit her lip and took a step forwards. "Are you okay?"

The small girl shook her head and brought her hands up to hide her face. Lauren grew concerned but hesitantly stayed put, unsure if Camila would receive any comfort she tried to offer. Camila's mood was a guessing game for her.

"What's a panic attack feel like?" Camila's small voice filled the air, cracking on her last word. Lauren didn't have an answer for her, because she had no clue. She'd never experienced one.