Hiding Behind The Music - Lilly's Soundtrack

Hiding Behind The Music - Chp 6 [Let This Go]

“Please don't get me wrong /Because I'll never let this go/But I can't find the words to tell you/I don't want to be alone/But now I feel like I don't know you oh” - Paramore – Let This Go

“Lilly can we come in?”

I leant over and pulled the door open “To congratulate me on my performance or to tell me my mother is freakin Kate Bransen?” the shared glances and hesitated by the door. “Do come in.” I said falsely cheery as my cheeks protested by the sickly sweet sarcastic smile, deep down I felt like I was about to throw up all my inside.

They stepped only a bit than they both collapsed on my bed “This is so screwed up!” Garry muttered, I couldn’t help but laugh, it sounded wrong. “By the way, good performance kiddo.” I nodded smiling slightly as I reflected. It really was.

I sighed as my smile fell as to what was next. “We didn't know, we’re not allowed to know who your biological parents are, you know that, we didn't know until she came and saw us.” Kylie said.

I nodded glumly “I'm not angry or upset or cut I'm just...lost.” I finally managed. I was deep down angry that I couldn’t be angry towards the lady that abandoned me a birth and gave me a life of pure turmoil.

“If she’d done it a better day than maybe not.” Garry muttered.

I laughed with no humour “I would have reacted the same any other day. But yeah, maybe not presentation slash performance day. Though she didn't know.” I allowed.

Kylie exhaled deeply “So what now?”

I shrugged “I don't know where she is, if I'm important she can find me.” I said.

“I wish she had just come and found us first and told us the scenario.” Kylie said glumly. This was just as much as a shock to them as me.

“Wow kiddo, your mum is Kate Bransen.” He whispered as it sunk in.

I held myself tighter “I don't wanna talk about it.” I said it finally all becoming too much and I just wanted to curl back up into my world of strings and notes.

Kylie caught on her face full of worry “Course, once you’re ready.” He said getting up gently as Garry followed her quietly closing the door behind them.

♫

Leaning against my bed I sat with my guitar in my hands playing ‘Summertime’ by ‘Thirsty Merc’; “Take me back to the sweet times, the hot nights everything is gonna be alright...” I sang as my fingers danced across the notes, smiling just from singing. Expressing. I felt all these emotions come out in song. It was my therapy.

As a soft knock rapped on my bedroom door I stopped. “I thought you would have come up with Kylie and Garry.” I called back.

She slid into the room. Still in the same outfit; jeans and a blue sequined singlet with black wedges. I watched my fingers hover over the strings. “You can sit down.” I finally offered, I was amazed at how easily I could speak to her; so nicely.

She sat down on the end of my bed, her legs near my left shoulder as we both faced my closed bedroom door. It was silent for a while, I was still trying to grasp the idea that I knew who my biologically mother was let alone she was Kate Bransen and sitting right beside me.

She sighed heavily, almost in defeat “How did you know I was here before your-“ she paused trying to find the right words.

“Kylie and Garry came up to see me?” I finished.