Hiding Behind The Music - Lilly's Soundtrack

Hiding Behind The Music - Chp 21 [All Around Me]

"I can feel you all around me/Thickening the air I'm breathing/Holding on to what I'm feeling/Savoring this heart that's healing" - Flyleaf - All Around Me

“Baby, stop stressing!” Mum soothed.

I was on the lounge clinging to Vida and strumming every time a dreadful or anxious thought came to mind which basically every second. We were waiting for Kate’s family to drop in and I was nervous. I didn’t know what to wear, say, do; I was completely lost.

Mum sat down beside me totally relaxed as she started distracting me “So have you thought about what you want to do work wise?” she murmured.

Both of us had decided that it would be the best for me to start thinking what I wanted to do career wise. I was starting to realize that I didn’t want to live my life on the couch and that everyone else around me was soon to be going back to work or studies. I wanted to do something and since that discussion it had also been on my mind.

“I’d like to follow in your footsteps or write or just play. Music.” I admitted. I wasn’t doing it either because it was expected since having a mother that was a famous pop star. “Though, no offense, I want to do it on my own, no use of connections, pulling strings or because of name. I need to do the hard yard so I can decide whether I am on the right road.” I admitted. “Besides, I want to do it like every other good artist; I want to earn it.”

She beamed at me with nothing but pride “I like that.” She murmured. I strummed a few notes breaking the silence. “How’s the paparazzi been?” she murmured worriedly.

The paparazzi had taken some snap shots of me and had tagged along but I wasn’t too special nor was I know that well. I was now suspected to be more than a back up for Kate’s band. They were getting suspicious. So far though it wasn’t chaos and I was getting used to it by living it through my mum. Mum wasn’t some celebrity that paparazzi stalked waiting for a scam; she was “boring” and “clean cut”. However I guess it was all to change once mum announced the truth, when? Mum and I weren’t too sure. We wanted to settle in a bit more first.

“They’re here!” Kate squealed. She squeezed my shoulders. “Wait here. I'll go bring ‘em in.” she basically squealed, again before kissing my cheek and flying out the door.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

My fingers instantly strummed through the chords all thoughts forgotten and lost and the melody of music bought me down and under. I didn’t want to be alone right now; I wanted Hayden to sweep in and save me, holding onto me, I wanted his soothing sent, I wanted his warming lips. I sighed sadly; I wasn’t going to get any of that until tomorrow.

My stomach was constantly rolling and churning as my throat constricted and my breathing basically became little gasps. My leg jiggled crazily with nerves and I continuously brushed the hair from my eyes with frustration. I could hear them coming up the steps and I changed the song to a trickier and a more attentive song. The front door opened and I kept my gaze on my fingers. Biggest baby going! I taunted myself. The footsteps told me they were making their way down to me.

Stupidly and reluctantly I took a glance up and met their gaze. All eyes were curious and warm; I was going to be okay.

Mum held out her hand and I slowly took it coming to her side and leaning into her warmth and comfort. I looked at them “Everyone, this is Lilly.”

Courtney, my grandmother, a short and tiny lady, her hair dark like mum’s although she held the odd gray strands and just like she sounded over the phone held the most warmest and beautiful smile possible. Adam my grandfather was tall and his thin black hair was scattered with grays as his grey eyes watched me with a small smile whilst the rest of him just looked content and curious. Daniel was tall, built, beautiful, tanned and also dark hair and eyes, I could see the similarities between him and mum; it was obvious they were siblings.