The Edge Of Darkness

Leaving

Suggested listening: GOT7 - Thank You

The devils were ready to fly away, when Jin noticed Hwoarang was mildly injured.

-Can you ride?

-Yeah, no problem.

-See you at home, then. Then... we'll talk.

-Right. Talk.

Devil Jin tilted his head and in a tornado of black feathers he and Eun-Jung were up in the sky. "I did this all to save them, and they ended up saving me. Amazing. I should have died in there".

Hwoarang wasn't in the best place during the ride home. His head was filled with pity for himself, self-consciousness about his decisions and fighting skills, about being a good father, a good example. Jin was always the one to give the best teachings, in the end. What was his use? He could just disappear and probably both Eun-Jung and Jin would be better off without him. He stopped his bike. What if he really disappeared? What if he would just, say, return to Korea and let Jin, the best father between the two, raise his own daughter? His heart broke at the thought of leaving the love of his life and her sweet princess behind. But it also ached for everything he was not to them. Everything he failed in doing. He failed at protecting them. He failed at challenging Heihachi. He failed at everything he tried. A failure all around, the great Blood Talon, everyone. He started sobbing, paralysed, not knowing what to do.

"I owe Jin and Eun-Jung an explanation, at the very least. Then, I'll see what to do. I'm still shaken up by the whole night, adrenaline through my veins, I can't decide right here, right now".

He started his bike again and headed home, where the two devils had already changed back and were waiting for him. Jin had ignited the fireplace, since it started slightly raining, and was a bit worried about Hwoarang's tardiness. That would mean he was following the speed limits, which he doubted, or that he stopped at some point, for some reason. Finally, the Korean showed up, soaked in rain; he removed his boots and sat in front of the fire without a word.

-So?

-So, c'mon, roast me. I deserve it. I broke house rule number one, no lies. I deserve anything you have to say to me, and more.

-Hwoarang... are you okay?

-No, I'm not. I did all this mess to protect you and save you, and I ended up being saved by the very people I was trying to protect. I am a failure, an excuse of a man. I'm useless. Will I ever do something right by you? You're everything I'm not. Strong, resolved, and always right. I fail at everything I try, magnificently, too. Sometimes I wonder why you still keep up with me.

-Love... I really don't know what's in your head right now, but you're not like you describe yourself to be, and I surely am not as perfect as you say. I say World War, to name one. You can hardly beat me at mistakes, with that.

-You don't understand. What kind of father am I? What kind of example? An alcoholic who struggles to keep himself clean, a fighter who can win no fight, a man who chooses all the wrong turns. I'm tired, Jin. I'm tired of being the weak link. Love can't make up for all this. I think you two should go on by yourselves, and I should leave you the fuck alone. I'm trouble.

-Hwoarang, you're scaring me. Do not dare to say something like that. I need you, Eun-Jung needs you. You're part of this family and right now, you're feeling low, terribly low. We will help you come back to your usual self, I promise. In the meantime, I beg you, don't leave. Stay here, where you are needed and wanted. Please, you will see it too, you belong here, with us.

-Do you remember when we met, Jin? Two sixteen-year-olds fighting on the streets. I was having fun. I was fighting for glory, for making a name for myself, to become a better fighter. I had never lost before you. Then you arrived. A draw. How could I tolerate a draw with some Japanese punk who wandered in my own town? I was so sure of myself, back then. And at nineteen too, when I met you again at the Tournament. I had self-esteem for days, I loved to provoke my adversary and the stir of hate I felt from them. I was cocky and sarcastic, lovely, really. Right now, that version of Hwoarang is fighting with myself in my head. He's telling me I'm nothing, that I was never anything to begin with. In certain moments, I feel the whim to surrender to him, to his brutal words, to his insults. Because I feel like he is right. You say you will help me, and I say, once again I need to be helped? I'm a wreck. I'm sinking. Maybe this is the time to let the boat go down once and for all, Jin. You can't keep this up all your life.

-Papa... please... I love you so much, and I need you so much, and you don't know how much you taught me already. You can't see it right now, but it's true. I don't want a world without you, a house without you, one day without you. If you ever decided to leave, I would leave school and search for you everywhere, to the end of the world. I swear. I'm not giving up on you, papa. You shouldn't either.

Hwoarang, once again like not so many nights before, broke down crying and sobbing uncontrollably. He was shaking for the cold, and he held his own shoulder like in a hug, except his fingers were plunging in his own skin until he bled. He wouldn't look either at Eun-Jung nor Jin, concentrated as he was on the voices battling in his head.

The Japanese knelt and softly removed Hwoarang's finger from his shoulders, kissing the wounds gently. Eun-Jung hugged him tight, staying under his arm. Jin whispered in his ear, as he embraced him, -Let it out, love, let it all out. It will be alright, I promise. But now, cry.

He didn't need to be told so, but it helped. He cried, and cried, and cried, until his face was red and all he could muster were sighs and deep but broken breaths, still not having the guts to look his family in the eyes.

-Do you want to go to sleep, love? You must be exhausted.

Hwoarang said nothing, but said yes with his head. Eun-Jung gave him a long kiss on the cheek.

-I love you, papa. Goodnight.

Jin helped the redhead getting on his feet again, then he looked straight in his eye.

-Hwoarang, look at me. Look at me.- slowly, the Korean did. -You're the most selfless, courageous and fiercely loving person I've ever met. Everything you've done, you've done out of love. That's the most important shade to look at. That is your shade. That is what you have to fight back with to the old Hwoarang beating you down. You were born and raised on the streets, look where you are now: you have a beautiful daughter who looks at you like you're his knight in shining armour, and a husband who loves you beyond anything in this world. Not everyone is so lucky. When you feel like falling down, our hands will always be there to catch you. You won't get it rid of us so easily, love. You're stuck with us.

Jin kissed him passionately, kiss to which Hwoarang initially didn't respond, to then melt into the warmness of Jin's mouth and his ragged breath between one kiss and the other. They lost themselves into each other for a while, and all the rainy clouds were swept away from Hwoarang's mind, just for a moment.